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Intrusive Thoughts - February 5th 2018, 02:10 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]I have a lot of dark dark intrusive thoughts and lately they've been horrible to the point where I really want to do what the thoughts say. One of my thoughts are that I want someone to self harm on my arms and thighs for me instead of me doing the self harming. I want someone to slice my skin open like a pizza.

I know the instrusive thoughts are pretty normal but I have them everyday and it's becoming dangerous because I've already acted on one of the thoughts. My thoughts told me to break my arm and I broke my arm and I didn't feel anything until my parents saw me on the floor but when I saw my parents, I made up a story and started crying. Am I a psychopath? I don't feel anything with pain.

I'm a lurker on this site, it's seems like a nice place but I'm not ready to join up in arms as comrades with others that have mental issues too. I feel like this is a cry for help but also a confession -- a pointless one.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]
   
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts - February 5th 2018, 06:35 PM

Hello and thank you so much for coming onto teenhelp and sharing this with us. I am so sorry that you are having a hard time right now. Can you try talking with you're parents and letting them know that you need some help and support and see if they can help find someone for you to talk with, for example a therapist or counselor? Someone like this can help you to talk about everything that you are going through and they will be able to help give you different coping methods to help you to be alright. If you cannot talk about this to you're parents, see if you can talk with you're school counselor and have them talk about this to you're parents. Also if you are not able to say it out loud, you can also write it down on paper and give it to them and they can help you out. When you want to self harm, try getting you're mind off of this try going for a walk or putting in music or funny TV or show or calling a friend or holding ice cubes or grab a hot or cold drink. Or anything else that you can do to get you're mind off of this. I wish you the best and I hope that you will be okay soon.
   
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts - February 5th 2018, 09:20 PM

[FONT="Palatino Linotype"][COLOR="DimGray"][SIZE="3"]What you wrote is a confession, but not a pointless one. And while we can't diagnose, I don't think you are a psychopath.

Intrusive thoughts can be common and most people will experience them at some point in their lives. But if you get them on a daily basis, and you act on them, especially if they are dangerous, then it's best to seek professional help.

It also sounds like a lot of your intrusive thoughts are linked to pain and yet you feel that you don't feel anything with pain. It makes sense that if you are trying to feel pain, that you may have more severe thoughts on how to hurt yourself in order to feel that pain. It's a bit like a cycle of self-harm where the more you hurt yourself, the more you may try to hurt yourself more than the last time. Remember that thoughts, even intrusive ones, are just thoughts and you don't have to act on them. You may want to look into distracting yourself instead.

More than okay if you don't feel ready to join up to TeenHelp right now too [/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]


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