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I took the rap for my sister so she could still enlist in the army - August 6th 2019, 09:21 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of substance use, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Several months back, my sister and I went to this party together. I had just turned 16 and had just gotten my license (U.S. citizen here). Someone brought alcohol. We hadn't planned on drinking, but ended up doing so anyway. Like, we got really smashed. By the time the party was winding down, my sister thought she was good to drive so I didn't say a word when she got behind the wheel. I just got into the passenger seat without a word. Big mistake. During the drive home, she tried to take a sharp turn a little too fast and ended up crashing the car into a tree.

I was okay because I'd remembered to put on my seat belt. My sister hadn't put hers on though and she went face-first into the steering wheel and broke her nose. She was crying and in a lot of pain. We got out of the car and were trying to figure out what to do next when we heard the sound of sirens. Someone had seen the accident and called 911. I felt so bad for my sister. She'd just turned 18, so if the cops figured out she'd been drinking, she'd have an adult record. I knew she had plans to join the army and having a record would make those plans go up in smoke. I figured she didn't need all that on top of her car being wrecked and her nose broken. So I told her I'd say I'd been driving. I figured even if the cops figured out I'd been drinking, I'd only have a juvenile record. She argued with me but eventually agreed just before the cops arrived. To make this part of the story short, I was arrested that night and charged with driving under the influence and vehicular assault (on account of her nose). I spent that weekend in juvenile detention before having a hearing the following Monday where I was released to my parents' custody until my next court date. Needless to say, mom and dad were furious and grounded my ass (my sister's too) for a long, long time after that.

Yesterday, I was in court again to finally learn my fate. Since I had never been in trouble with the law before, I'd been hoping I might get off easy with probation and some community service hours or something. But the judge decided to sentence me to six months in juvenile detention.

Thank God I have an appointment to have my wisdom teeth removed on Friday. Because of that, the judge was lenient enough to let me remain free until Monday, August 12th. On that date, I have to report to the detention center to begin serving my sentence.

Look, I own the fact that we were both stupid for drinking that night and for trying to get home by ourselves. No one needs to tell me that. I really screwed myself good that night. In addition to my sentence, I also lost my license. And my boyfriend. His parents demanded he break up with me once they heard about what happened. And I was thrown off the softball team at school once coach learned of my arrest. And speaking of school, which starts on Monday, I'll be missing 180 days worth of it. I'll probably end up having to get a GED instead of graduating with my friends.

Since yesterday, I've been wrestling with whether or not I did the right thing by taking the rap. I guess in a way it doesn't matter. I'm gonna be locked up in juvie either way. But I can't help but wonder. What do you think? Did I do the right thing? I honestly don't know. All I know for sure is that my sister is super grateful for what I did and has apologized endlessly since the accident and especially since yesterday. Her nose has of course healed up by now and she's since enlisted and is looking forward to leaving for basic training soon.

In case you're wondering, about a month ago we finally told our parents who was really driving that night. They were mad, but seem content to let me deal with the consequences of my decision. They aren't demanding that my sister confess to the cops at any rate.

Like I said, I hope I made the right decision. I'm a little freaked. I mean, who wouldn't be knowing they're fixing to spend six months in jail? At least I'll be able to get my record sealed eventually, so this won't haunt me for the rest of my life.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]
   
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Re: I took the rap for my sister so she could still enlist in the army - August 7th 2019, 04:56 PM

[FONT="Palatino Linotype"][COLOR="DimGray"][SIZE="3"]Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your sister and how it has lead to you facing 6 months in jail.

As touching as it was to want to protect your sister from facing the consequences, it has lead to you facing jail. While you were both irresponsible for drinking, it was ultimately your sister that made the decision to drive that night. It's not your fault for not preventing this as it was your sister's for making that decision knowing she had been drinking.

Even though you both have faced the consequences of what happened, and your sister is grateful for you taking the rap, it does seem like you have been handed more severe consequences as you prepare for jail while your sister enlists in the army. Legally, if you weren't driving and took the blame for your sister, you could still be charged with perjury. Not only that but if there is a pattern with you taking the blame for your sister, then it also negatively affects her too. She may feel guilty for letting you go to jail and in the long term she may not have taken responsibility for her actions and so she may be likely to repeat similar mistakes and hope that others come to the rescue instead of being responsible.

You mention that you and your sister did come clean to your parents about who was driving that night but that they aren't demanding your sister to confess. They may have many difficult feelings about this situation but would you be willing to talk to them again? If they know the true story but let you take the rap for your sister, they too, could possibly face legal consequences if it were found out that they know you weren't responsible.

If you have changed your mind and want to come clean with what happened, then it's best you consult with your lawyer (we aren't professionals and can't offer any legal advice).

Spending time in jail is never an easy thing to do and it's natural that you would be scared. There should be staff and other professionals, e.g. counsellors who can help you adjust to jail and provide emotional support.

I'm sorry that you have had to go through this experience. Whatever happens, you might want to try using this experience as a learning curve. You are not responsible for other people's actions.

Hope this helps a bit and feel free to continue reaching out to us for support,

Take care [/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]


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Re: I took the rap for my sister so she could still enlist in the army - August 8th 2019, 08:44 AM

Hi there,

I am sorry to hear that happened to you and your sister. Though what you did for your sister was sweet to save her career, at the same time, it did have consequences. As Celyn mentioned, the best thing to do in these types of situations is to 'come clean' about what you did instead of allowing someone else to do it for you otherwise you'd expect someone to come to your rescue all the time.

I hope this helped and if you need anything, my inbox is always open.


   
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