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Help please. - January 31st 2020, 01:57 AM

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]My older sister is dating a guy my parents don't like. He's into drugs and all she says is I'm over 18 now can't tell me what to do. I'm scared she is going to do them. I ask her why is she dating him, she says shes in love. Sorry not sure what I'm asking for.[/size][/color][/font]
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Re: Help please. - February 8th 2020, 07:33 PM

Hi there,

I apologize for the delay in receiving a response! I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through with your sister. It's completely understandable that you would be concerned for her. It's always scary when a loved one ventures down an uncertain path.

It sounds like your sister might be trying to establish her independence. At 18, she is finally a legal adult and seems to be trying to assert herself as one by going against your parents' wishes. She could be doing this consciously, in that she may be dating him just to rebel and get a rise out of them, or subconsciously, in that she genuinely believes she has feelings for this guy.

Did you notice any tension between your sister and your parents before she began dating this guy? Did they ever try to prevent her from doing things or dating people? If your parents were particularly strict, this could be one possible explanation for her extreme behavior. Even if you parents weren't strict, she might have simply fallen into the wrong crowd and now desperately wants to fit in.

I would be open with your parents about their concerns, which I'm sure they share as well. I know that there might not be a lot that they can do at this point, but they might be able to at least offer some support. I might also try talking to your sister about your concerns. Try to approach the subject gently so as not to provoke her: "Hey, I know that your boyfriend does drugs and I'm really scared that you'll try them as well. I don't want you to do that because I love you and want you to be safe." Try to explain your specific worries to her and let her know how this is affecting you. She may or may not be receptive to it, but it would at least give her some food for thought.

Again, I'm so sorry that you're going through this! Please let us know how we can best support you.

All the best,
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Re: Help please. - March 27th 2020, 10:30 AM

It's very hard to forget the one we fall in love with..On the other hand it very hard to prove that partner is wrong when someone is in love with him. So try to explain her gradually and take help and advice from your parents and adults
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Re: Help please. - June 11th 2020, 02:33 PM

Just remain an observer and help at a time when she will feel bad. I do not know what else can be done. Her ears are deaf to your words about that guy.
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