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Trauma help. - April 8th 2020, 09:44 PM

Hi, I was wondering if people had advice on how to deal with the anxiety/trauma of find my dad in bed dead (due to covid-19). I can't leave the house, even if people have any tips for generalised anxiety that work would be great.


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Re: Trauma help. - April 14th 2020, 01:27 PM

Hello,

Thank you so much for coming on and telling us about this and I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now and hope that you will be okay soon.

I'm truly sorry for the loss of you're father. You are feeling so many things and how you feel, you will not feel like this forever. I also know that it is hard not being able to leave the house. Are you able to talk to someone in you're family about you're father? Do you have any siblings that you can talk to. Or are you able to talk to you're mother and let her know that you are having a hard time with this? Sometimes when someone passes away we want to just keep it all to ourselves. When we do that we are not letting our emotions out. So a way to get out how you are feeling can be to write a letter and put everything in it that you are feeling and then when you are done with it, you can rip the paper and then throw it away. When doing this, it can help because everything that you are feeling is coming out in a good way and then you can start to feel a little bit better.

Also getting you're mind off of this for a while can help too. For example if you can try going for a walk around you're house or calling a friend and talking to them for a while or reading or drawing or painting or writing or putting on music or funny TV shows or movies or finding something else that you enjoy doing and do that for a while to help you out. I hope that you will be okay soon. Thank you so much for coming on and if you need anything else please come back. Hugs


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Re: Trauma help. - April 16th 2020, 07:17 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear you lost your dad to coronavirus. Must be awful especially since you found your dad dead in bed.

I agree with Emma in that talking to siblings or family members about your dad can help. It's a very difficult time when you can't leave the house but you still need to have connection with others. Especially if it can help with grieving or remembering your dad.

Anxiety can be difficult to deal with too. It can help to pay attention to your body- what you are feeling both physically and emotionally. If you notice that you are experiencing signs of anxiety, it can help to stop and do some deep breathing- in for 3 seconds, hold for 3 seconds and out for 3 seconds. Pay attention to things that you can see, touch, hear, smell and taste. Remind yourself that you are safe right now. This can help when you are anxious or feel that you are going through the trauma all over again. As Emma said, it can also help to find things to distract yourself or keep busy. When we are isolated and not doing much it can be easy to slip into low mood, so try to have a routine to look after yourself, keep busy and also, allow yourself some down time. It's okay to feel anxious and upset right now. You've lost your dad to coronavirus and many people around the world have also lost loved ones. If you feel like crying or expressing your emotions in a healthy way, it's more than acceptable to do so.

If you are struggling, you can try and contact your gp to see if they can refer you for mental health help. Many counsellors are offering online or telephone counselling so it might be worthwhile looking into that. We are also always available (although we aren't professionals). Take care


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Re: Trauma help. - April 26th 2020, 12:14 PM

Prayers personally helped me. I found a secluded place and prayed until anxiety let me go.
   
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Re: Trauma help. - April 27th 2020, 07:58 AM

Hi P,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you must be undergoing.

Grieving the death of a loved on is a very stressful period and something we all go through. It's a part of the human experience - we all know that death is certain for any being that has taken birth. It is natural to feel an immense sense of loss, sorrow, shock and anxiety. It is something only time can heal, but we can take some small steps that will help us along. Here are some:

- Find someone to speak with. It could be a friend, neighbour or even your teacher (if you are still a student). Speaking will help you pour out your feelings rather than keeping it all in. Especially now that we are all quarantined, it can be especially tough, so speaking with another human can go a long way. In fact, you can feel free to PM me if you'd like to have a chat. I'm happy to hear you out.

- It's okay to grieve or feel anxious. Don't try to push it out of your mind. Rather, accept it as part of the process. In the words of Kriss Kevorkian, an Los Angeles-based thanatologist, "In our society, we're often told to 'get over it,' which is just about the worst advice ever," she said. "Sit with your grief, find the meaning in it through appreciating that fact that you have loved ones that you care for."

"Allow it to unfold," she says. "Grief ... teaches us to appreciate life and those we love. Instead of pushing it aside, embrace it and learn to truly be grateful for every day." (https://www.chicagotribune.com/lifes...211-story.html)

- Along those lines, perhaps you might want to find an old notebook or diary and start keeping a gratitude and positive self-affirmation journal? These actually go a long way - you can start out by appreciating the small things in life, even in a difficult time, such as "I'm grateful that I woke up to another day." You can even write about how grateful you are to have had all the memories you had with your dad. Self-affirmations could be something like "I'm a strong, beautiful person and this too shall pass." These subconsciously boost us.

- Praying. HloeGH already has mentioned it, and this is actually very meaningful. Even if one doesn't follow a religion, praying does instil in us some faith for better days ahead. Whether you pray to a God, to a messiah, to the Universe, it does not matter - praying will give you an outlet.

- Meditation. Now meditation has been correlated with managing anxiety levels for a while now. You might want to have a look at these links:
https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-meditation-anxiety/
https://www.mindful.org/how-to-meditate/

- Online counselling. This is an excellent option - there's nothing to shy away from seeking professional guidance during difficult times like these. I'm sure you will be able to find some licensed psychologists or therapists in your area through a Google search or phone calls to your local hospitals.

Lastly, don't forget to take care of yourself! Have your meals on time, be in regular touch with people, and go for walks regularly (bearing in mind your local area's restrictions on isolation, of course!).

I leave you with a saying that helped my mom when she had to cope with her parents deaths - "The living have to go on living."
   
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Re: Trauma help. - May 21st 2020, 05:49 AM

Hi! I'm sorry, this is a big loss to lose a loved one. I advise you to stay at home, and to calm down, try taking cbd oil, I think this can really help you get out of the deep depression associated with losing your father. Please do not pass by and just try.
   
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