Triggering: Fearing being alone due to aging parents

[Rika]

Is it normal to feel like this? I honestly think it is a worry as parents are aging. They're in ok health, so think I have a bit with them still. I totally like my parents despite various fights and arguments throughout the years.

I just think it'll be lonely without them when they do pass. I marked this as triggering just in case.

[Ennui.]

My parents are 71 and 73 right now and I feel this so hard. I’m 27 and they had me when they were older. I worry more about them dying every day, especially since they’ve had health problems in the last few years. I rely on them heavily and don’t know how I’d cope without them.

I don’t have specific advice on how to combat it because I honestly have nightmares about it but I wanted to say you’re not alone!

[Celyn]

The last few years I have felt this, but it has eased a little. I'm already down to one parent (my mum), and I don't have any grandparents and am not in touch much with aunties and uncles (who are all aging and some are not in good health). So I do worry about what life will be like without my mum and relatives that I am close to.

I think it's fairly normal, particularly if you are still living with parents or rely on your parents a lot (I know I do). A few years ago, I would get really anxious about my mum dying. I just became really obsessed with her health for some reason. I don't get so anxious these days as I've tried to keep myself busy and focus on my own life and what I can do to be more independent or think about the types of friendships I want to build (which, without realising, might also help me when the time does come).

I don't know if any of this was helpful but you are not alone in this at all <3

[Butterscotch.]

You are most certainly not alone! I was about the same age as you, 31/32, when it hit me that my parents are getting old. They'll both be turning 70 next year. While they're still relatively healthy,, I know illness and death can come on pretty quickly. Now I'm 38 and am trying to take better care of myself, and mentally prepare for that awful moment when they're not there to answer my texts if I need them. I think the best way to do that is surround yourself with trustworthy people and a lifestyle that will sustain your well-being for after your parents pass away.

For me, I know I need to start saving money even though I don't have a paying job. I know I need to work on my interpersonal skills so I can have and maintain friendships. I know I need to focus on my physical fitness, make better dietary choices, and abstain from alcohol permanently.

It's not easy, so definitely find a support group that is outside of your family.