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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Kmn483 ♥Bliz Offline
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Unhappy First time sex.... (nearly like the post "My cousin and I" in prt 2) - April 22nd 2012, 05:33 PM

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*sighs* ok..... there's a few things I want to say that complicate this so much.... I'm Christian.. a serious dedicated one.... I'm STRAIGHT, I PROMISED not to have sex... (I wore a purity ring... but not today), and... it's my cousin! I've been thinking about try things out with some male friends of mine (I'm never to close to girls... T.T and this is the only way I could ever do anything sexual) but I've been to scared....
Well. now it's 10 hours later...
We just sucked each other.... and I knew what I was doing when I was... I new i was sinning and all i was breaking.. but it nearly seemed ok at the time. then i began feeling guilty... and it wasn't all that good. my cousin even said yes, when I asked him if he would have rather slept then done that.

Oh... I just hate it!!! I'm stuck with regret.... I cut myself for the first time in a long while... I promised i wouldn't do that either.... I never thought i would... I never did anything this bad! I'm just so....... distressed.... I HATE what I did! *sighs once more* Please help me, I have no where else to turn!


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Re: First time sex.... (nearly like the post "My cousin and I" in prt 2) - April 22nd 2012, 05:51 PM

Hey there,

In term's of the straight bit- many people do experiment. It doesn't make you gay.

In terms of the religious part. I know how hard that can be. Battling your beliefs against your physical lusts.

All i can really say is that everyone sins. All sins are equal in the eyes of God.
You say you regret it. So that should be enough. God forgives all who ask for forgiveness.

Also it may be worth talking to the guy, just making sure you both know where you stand- that it won't happen again etc.

in terms of cutting. Relapses are normal in anyone recovering. The fact that you stopped for a long time is amazing. Focus on that, and try again

Good luck
p.m if you want to chat xx


   
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Re: First time sex.... (nearly like the post "My cousin and I" in prt 2) - April 22nd 2012, 06:10 PM

Thank you... I'm just so stressed and guilty right now.... it wasn't a half day ago yet...... but i know i still wont forget it anytime soon. I'd call myself "recovered" in terms of cutting... it's just hard times can break me


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Re: First time sex.... (nearly like the post "My cousin and I" in prt 2) - April 22nd 2012, 06:32 PM

It doesn't mean you're gay just because you had a sexual encounter with another male. It just means you experimented. Lots of people do it; it's part of exploring sexuality, and it's very healthy, although I would recommend you not do so with your cousin.

It's hard to do something that you feel goes against your beliefs, but that doesn't make you a bad christian or an abomination in the eyes of God. Everyone screws up, and as much as many people will SAY they are sinners but ACT like their sweat smells sweeter than the rest, it's bull. So if you believe what you did is a sin, ask God for forgiveness. That's the whole reason Jesus descended from heaven, so that your sins could be forgiven.

So it really doesn't matter if you experimented with another guy or even if you broke your cutting streak- God is there for you to turn to. He'll understand.

You can't change the past, but you can do different in the future.

I encourage you to accept yourself and be kind to yourself, just as God is kind to you.


"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."
"I don't much care where-"
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go."

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Re: First time sex.... (nearly like the post "My cousin and I" in prt 2) - April 22nd 2012, 07:00 PM

Thank you... it was just so huge.... I kinda broke.... I always try to be faithful and this has been my biggest sin (although not in god's eyes... but my own)
no.. i dont believe that i was turning gay or nothing... it would take feelings for that.... and of course i have never had any for another male.

It'll be a little hard to put this in God's hands.... i've been very stressed today... but in terms of time... I'm actually pretty quick to calm down.... after all... it still hasn't even been 12 hours since it happened xD

I feel like i can now make a way... but i feel it's still to soon to forgive myself.... and i feel i have to... at lest... in part... before i give it up to God... I know that's wrong, but it's how i feel.


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Re: First time sex.... (nearly like the post "My cousin and I" in prt 2) - April 22nd 2012, 07:12 PM

okay, I'm a Hindu but I don't much believe in religions... but everyone has their set of rules and morals and limits and if you don't want to cross them then that's okay. Everyone has their opinions and I'd say that if you liked it then it's fine... you're not an abomination and everyone experiments... I've done things normal girls my age wouldn't try out in India. It's nothing stupid to go against norms if this is who you are. You can put it off and not think about it but I think it'd help to think it over and figure out if you liked it or if you were just experimenting for one thing. And what you did might've been a sin in your eyes but god won't think that, of that I'm sure. He doesn't care for such small setbacks in a person's life. And if you see it as a sin, then purge yourself of it as you think is right. If you feel guilty then don't do so again. It is up to you and is totally your choice and decision. Stand up for who you are
   
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Re: First time sex.... (nearly like the post "My cousin and I" in prt 2) - April 22nd 2012, 07:23 PM

Im fourteen and Im bisexual. and Im catholic. my school goes against gays and lesbians and bisexuals, so its hard for me bigtime. But that shouldnt be a guilt for you. love has NO limits. and god, like said before, forgives. wasnt it him who said " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails."
if you dont want this to happen again, talk to your partner person and yes make sure you both know where you stand. and the cutting....i cut too and at times it has been because of my sexuality, but please know that if you have tried to stop before, just try again. dont be guilty. be strong.


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Re: First time sex.... (nearly like the post "My cousin and I" in prt 2) - April 22nd 2012, 07:33 PM

xDDD no love included! thank you 2, but no... this was just an "experiment" as you put it. not into homosexuality... which i am well against... but just sexual contact... and yes, i do feel guilty, and i wont do it again.... but it's not who i am... just how i was feeling.


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Re: First time sex.... (nearly like the post "My cousin and I" in prt 2) - April 23rd 2012, 04:43 PM

then it's fine... good that you figured it out
   
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