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BF: won't visit when i'm on period as no sex :/ Normal?
So, i normally see my bf for about 4 nights every 3 weeks.
He came up to see me this weekend. And we had a lovely time. But I was on my period so no sex. He was really moody with me, and said that next time I should wait till i've finished before he comes over- that a week isn't that much difference. It really upset me, because it made me feel like he only wanted to come for sex. But he emphasised that he wants to come and see me, but sex is still a big and important part and he wants both. I'm I just being totally niave? Personally i was happy seeing him with no sex than going another week without seeing him. Should i be upset, or am i taking this the wrong way |
Re: BF: won't visit when i'm on period as no sex :/ Normal?
I do feel that you have a right to be upset. Your period doesn't get in the way of you hanging out and if he likes hanging out with you, which he should, then why should your period effect that? All it really effects is whether or not you have sex and I can understand if you don't see each other often you'll want it when you do see each other but I'm sure he can go without occasionally while you're on otherwise it does make it seem like he does only want sex.
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Re: BF: won't visit when i'm on period as no sex :/ Normal?
Sounds like someone who wants to have sex to me.
Doesn't like visiting you when you're on your period? Yeeeeeep. Nothing to disagree about here. Pretty clear as day. |
Re: BF: won't visit when i'm on period as no sex :/ Normal?
I think it makes sense, actually. He can presumably only visit every so often, because of how ridiculous train prices are, and wanting to have sex on the times he does see you doesn't mean he's only using you for sex. It just means he wants to have sex with you when he sees you, which, in a relationship like yours, isn't such a crazy idea. Waiting a month is bad enough; waiting two months is torture.
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Re: BF: won't visit when i'm on period as no sex :/ Normal?
No, I think that's a bit assholey to be honest, although I usually agree with Acheron's views. Also there's other sexual things you can do which don't actually involve sex. I think he's being a bit selfish.
Would you consider having sex on your period, or is it an absolute no-no?? You could suggest it and see what he says. ;) |
Re: BF: won't visit when i'm on period as no sex :/ Normal?
I think that you definitely do have a right to be upset. There are so many things the two of you can have fun doing, both sexual and nonsexual, without having actual sex. He should want to hang out with you, sex or not.
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Re: BF: won't visit when i'm on period as no sex :/ Normal?
I think you're kind of overreacting, really. I'm in a similar situation and honestly it's because I don't get to see my partner on a very regular basis that I really do feel like sex is a must have every time we're together. I would definitely wait an extra few days to be able to sleep with him instead of restricting ourselves to oral/manual stimulation, and I would be upset if I showed up and was unexpectedly limited to that! (nb - I don't totally empathize with your situation because I would still have sex on my period and if that wasn't on the table because of how he felt I'd at least expect some manual stimulation, and offer manual/oral help for him too.)
It doesn't mean I care about him any less, or that I don't need the emotional connection and comfort we get from being together in person... I need that too, I need the conversation and the non-sexy times and the laughs and the being held and hugged. But I need sex too, and I wouldn't be *as* satisfied if I didn't get it. (And I know he feels the same way.) If he's made an effort to reassure you that he wants both, believe him, and understand that he's expressing what his needs are out of your situation. They may not totally match yours, but in the end they're equally as important and you need to take them into consideration.. |
Re: BF: won't visit when i'm on period as no sex :/ Normal?
Actually, reading over this ~ I can see his point, but I think his attitude is wrong. He shouldn't have been moody enough with you to make you feel crappy about it. I think that's what I don't agree with.
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Re: BF: won't visit when i'm on period as no sex :/ Normal?
Hey there,
I can see both sides really. Of course sex is a big part of being in a relationship- as much as people say it doesn't matter it does! But on the other hand you can't help being on your period. He should be able to hang out with you and not have sex on occasion. |
Re: BF: won't visit when i'm on period as no sex :/ Normal?
Thanks for the replies.
I think i over-reacted a bit as i am generally a fairly sensitive person around that. I do know he enjoys spending tiem with me... but that sex for him is important in the relationship. It's no real hardship to wait an extra week if it makes him happy... |
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