Non-PG13: Too ''small'' for sex=Can't find a girl. Penis problems!!!

alexjames · 09:38 PM

I'm a 20 year old lad who has never had a girlfriend. I would love (more than anything) to find a girl. I'm not looking for sex, I want somebody I can look after, take care of and love with all my heart, and vice versa. However, I look like a 14 year old lad. I'm 5 foot 8, Edited., and can only grow a tiny bit of facial hair (it's more like a few small hairs rather than proper facial hair). One of my biggest worries is also my penis size. It is 4 inches long and 2 in girth not erect and 4.5-5 long and 3.5-4 when erect. This is no way big enough, and to be honest, it doesn't even look as big as I mentioned. You can literally hold it in one hand even when erect, as it is only as long as my small finger and as wide as my thumb. Even though I'm not looking for a sexual relationship, this still gets me down as if I found a girl and in a few months or even years we wanted to take things 'further', I wouldn't be able too. Also the glans is really painful to touch and the foreskin won't slide easily. It does retract when I pull it, but it is a bit of a struggle. Any help/advice on what I should do would be brilliant. My doctor didn't exactly help

Harmony♥

If your looking for a relationship, the size of your penis won't matter to the girl you're are with, especially if she likes/loves you. Penis size doesn't mean everything, and you aren't "too small" to have sex. Also, if it hurts to touch yourself, I'd recommend seeing a doctor or specialist to fix the problem.

Loving Linux Penguin · last updated on 4/14/12

Heya Alex. Hope you don't mind that I'm a little younger than you.

There's no REQUIREMENT for how big your penis is. It doesn't really matter very much. Any reasonable girl will want to be with you for who you are, not how big or small your penis is. If that's all they care about, they're not the girl for you.

The glans DOES tend to be sensitive...you kinda have to get it used to being touched for it to not be. But in terms of what to do about the foreskin and glans, I'd say go get a second opinion. It shouldn't be hard to retract your foreskin, so you really need to see someone else to have it examined and see what can be done about it. Good luck!

lonleygirl

hey alex, well I hear you...
I have issues about my WHOLE body and face and my look, everything!
So, what I want you to know is that you'll always find something that is weird on your body, no one has a perfect body and I think that that a small penis is not the worst thing. I'm a girl and if I really liked you I wouldn't care about the penis as long I get it

I mean, when you see a girl with small boobs, do you think she is a bad person? no.

Good luck dude

ertyuio

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexjames

This is no way big enough...

Big enough for what, if I may ask? Men of an extremely diverse range of sizes are having sex, so I'm not sure what you're referring to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexjames

Even though I'm not looking for a sexual relationship, this still gets me down as if I found a girl and in a few months or even years we wanted to take things 'further', I wouldn't be able too.

Why would your size, in any technical sense, limit you from being intimate with a girl, when such a time arrives? I know it can be very nerve-wracking to expose yourself to a girl when you've got this type of insecurity, but the girls who would actually react negatively to your size are few and far between.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexjames

Also the glans is really painful to touch and the foreskin won't slide easily. It does retract when I pull it, but it is a bit of a struggle.

For the problem of the glans being very sensitive, it might be helpful to use sexual lubricant and slowly work with yourself until moderate stimulation is no longer painful. The same goes for stretching the foreskin - lubricant is advised, and it typically involves a series of gradual stretching exercises until one is accustomed to the stretching without any pain. You can search for more specific techniques elsewhere online, but from what I've gathered, this is the general method.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lonleygirl

I mean, when you see a girl with small boobs, do you think she is a bad person? no.

Men with this type of insecurity are not worried about being viewed as a "bad person", so I think this missed the mark. In addition, the problem of breast size insecurity is not the same as the problem of penis size insecurity. Penis size plays a role in the delivery of physical stimulation and pleasure, whereas breast size does not. Two independent types of worrying.

SamMarie

I believe love outweighs the size of anything especially to your penis. I think you're just more insecure about impressing a girl to be with you rather than the size of your penis. I think that's just an excuse to be honest. I feel, personally, you should just be who you are and not to change a thing about yourself even physically. I think if you try to make yourself more available excluding any sexual intimacy (for now) that you will do just fine. By doing that, just be yourself and flirt around. You could also just be a late bloomer when it comes to facial hair, ect. A person who does not accept you for who you are would only think the way you do if you ever went further. And if you feel like your doctor didn't do anything, I would suggest a different doctor. Good luck!

i_like_black

Personally I find guys with "younger" faces - less facial hair and so forth - more attractive, but that's just me, everyone has their own preference for facial hair. And nobody has to know you don't have much, you can just rock the clean shaved look

As for penis size . . . it honestly doesn't matter. I've had sex with 2 guys, one had a huge penis, and . . . I got very little pleasure from it. One had a penis about the same size as what you've described, and he was great. I was in a loving relationship, and we communicated, and in all honesty . . . size doesn't matter.
Sex is like fishing, it's not the size of the worm, it's how you wriggle it!

Any girl you are in a loving relationship with will NOT care about size. It's never a deal breaker in my experience

As for the pain you're experiencing, I suggest you see a GP, from what I'm aware of, retracting the foreskin is meant to be painless and somewhat easy.

DanceCommander

Penis size does not corollate with loving someone. As sappy as it sounds, the right person isn't going to care how big you are down there. Not to mention, there is a LOT more to physical pleasure than just physical size of the penis. There are plenty of guys who are well endowed and still suck at sex.

There is nothing wrong with the way you look. And being a man doesn't have to do with how much facial hair you grow or how much you bench press. It has to do with how you carry yourself, how you deal with challenges and how you treat women.

JKmadu619

First of all, men have two distinctive brain sections, those used in sex, and those used in everyday life. We only have enough processing power to keep one going at a time. As a result men are often caught up in the phsyical aspect of sex. The body of their partner, and the actual feeling of it. Women on the other hand can process both sexual and logical information at the same time. Basically if a girl really cares about you, it will not matter how large or small you are.

Secondly, you are within average size. Worldwide average is between roughly 5-6 inches long. 90% of men are between 4-7 inches. Fewer studies have been published on girth, however it's estimated at 4-6 inches as average.

Thirdly, if you're concerned about facial hair there's a few important points to make. One is that recent studies have shown that a full beard can actually turn women away (more women consider it a turn-off than a turn-on). Secondly, some men simply cannot grow a beard, that is natural. If your father didn't, and your grandfathers didn't don't hold out hope. If your family history indicates that most men could grow a beard, it may be worthwhile to ask your doctor about testosterone suplements. If it is a hormonal issue, this may help, but again you should consult a professional.

Fourth, a tender or sensitive penis "head" is natural if you are uncircumised. It's simply due to sensitivity, hoever this issue often goes away with age/use as the skin will "toughen up". However if retracting your foreskin is creating actual pain (rather than discomfort, or senstivity) I would recomend seeing a doctor as you may have an overly tight foreskin.

- Justin

purplemask · 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JKmadu619

Fewer studies have been published on girth, however it's estimated at 4-6 inches as average.

6 inches for girth? ummmmm......no...lol i don't think that fact is right. That's like a baby's head. Edit! I was thinking width, if circumference is the same as girth than maybe that is right, sorry! I agree with most of what's been mentioned, maybe a second opinion about the pain or do some of the tips someone mentioned about getting use to the sensations...I don't have a penis so I don't know

As for your size...my boyfriend's is the SAME size as you and I get a LOT of pleasure and I actually prefer it much much MUCH (did I mention MUCH?) more than anything larger. It's very nice

He is embarrassed about his size, I guess from comparisons to other men growing up...but I think he has NO reason to be, we've been together for four years (I'm 21, he's 22) and I love every bit of him to death, and I don't care how his size compares to other men. He's the man for me.
EDIT! got a little off subject at the end lol...I do love that boy...anyway, moral of the story is you're really not "too small," and that the size of your penis does not mean you can't have a loving, happy, sexual, satisfying relationship!

Bella xx

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacGuffin

Penis size does not corollate with loving someone. As sappy as it sounds, the right person isn't going to care how big you are down there. Not to mention, there is a LOT more to physical pleasure than just physical size of the penis. There are plenty of guys who are well endowed and still suck at sex.

There is nothing wrong with the way you look. And being a man doesn't have to do with how much facial hair you grow or how much you bench press. It has to do with how you carry yourself, how you deal with challenges and how you treat women.

She's right

If a girl is worth sleeping with or having a relationship with, she wouldn't care at all about what you look like. She would just care about you.
Just stop worrying about what girls think, because the right girl won't care.
Good luck

Age of Ignorance

Quote:

Originally Posted by JKmadu619

First of all, men have two distinctive brain sections, those used in sex, and those used in everyday life. We only have enough processing power to keep one going at a time. As a result men are often caught up in the phsyical aspect of sex. The body of their partner, and the actual feeling of it. Women on the other hand can process both sexual and logical information at the same time.

- Justin

I dispute this. It hardly seems factual, and far from logically theoretical (especially if it's YOUR theory). You are generalising, for starters. Men, in general, don't - can't - have two sections of their brain where "one switches off" at some specific event. Secondly, that seems ridiculous. Thirdly, the idea that men are some sort of sexually deranged psychotics is beyond even my comprehension.

I don't know if you've ever experienced sex, Justin, but I can say that not all males switch off the side of their brain that allows emotional connection. Physical stimulation is obviously a big part of sex, but it's no where near the last aspect.

@ the OP, your size should not hinder you from finding a partner. Men vary in sizes, and men of your size are by no means "disabled" in that department. No matter what size you are, I'm sure every person has experienced times where their partner is uncomfortable with their size. There's no "one size fits all" and there should never be.

alexjames

Thanks people, you have made me feel better about myself, but I'm still stuck as to how to find anybody haha! The measurements I gave seem a little big compared to when you look at my ''little man''! It really is as small and thin as my little finger. I can wrap my little finger around it almost!! I suppose you are right in the fact that if the girl loved ME, then she won't care how big I am down there, but finding girls who aren't shallow is tough as I'm too scared to talk to people!!

JKmadu619

http://www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/165

As just one example backs out my point. Men's brains have individual sections that often work alone, women's brains work as a single unit, this allows men to concentrate harder and with more outside distraction, however women are able to piece together "the bigger picture" faster.

I could find more examples, should you ask for them.

- Justin

Kevmezz

So far Alex everyone has given you some very good advice, and its true what others have said if a girl likes you and cares about you then they won't care how big or small your penis is. I'm 10 years older than you and all the girls I've been with have never be bothered about it's size

FixYou♥

Whether guys want to believe it or not, a true, beautiful, loving girl doesn't use her eyes. Only her heart. This is what I'm saying as a 14-year-old girl in a generation that seems all about sex,drugs,fame, and cash: if she loves you, she loves you for YOU!

Acheron

Quote:

Originally Posted by JKmadu619

http://www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/165

As just one example backs out my point. Men's brains have individual sections that often work alone, women's brains work as a single unit, this allows men to concentrate harder and with more outside distraction, however women are able to piece together "the bigger picture" faster.

I could find more examples, should you ask for them.

- Justin

Site dedicated to selling porn-filtering software publishes barely-sourced article about how differences between men's and women's brains mean that porn is bad. Sounds legit.

JKmadu619

http://health.howstuffworks.com/human-body/systems/nervous-system/men-women-different-brains1.htm

Although doesn't directly state my point, it certainly shows it very well may be true.

http://www.emergencemarketing.com/2005/10/25/sex-in-ads-does-not-sell/

Here states that when an add features sexuality, men are far less likey to remeber what the ad was even about than women. This shows they are less likely to logically and sexually process information at the same time.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/he...tty-women.html

Here is another one that shows men suck at logical reasoning when aroused.

- Justin

OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!

Quote:

Originally Posted by JKmadu619

First of all, men have two distinctive brain sections, those used in sex, and those used in everyday life. We only have enough processing power to keep one going at a time.

I'm having trouble deciding whether this is a joke or if you're actually being serious. I hope it's not the latter because you just took a giant shit all over neuroscience then smeared it all over physiology and anatomy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JKmadu619

http://www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/165

As just one example backs out my point. Men's brains have individual sections that often work alone, women's brains work as a single unit, this allows men to concentrate harder and with more outside distraction, however women are able to piece together "the bigger picture" faster.

You're trying to enter the field of behavioural neuroscience but you've ignored some of the basics and got others completely wrong. If men have brain areas that function by themselves, how do they receive and send information? Other areas that always work together would be over-loaded since the information cannot go to or from the alone-functioning areas. In other words, nonsense. Brain areas for men and women are designed to function as a single unit, there is no black-and-white difference as you're painting it to be. Additionally, as people learn and routinely carry out a particular task, there will be physical changes at the synaptic and micro level. This cannot be accounted for using your ideas.

Brain structure of men and women have been examined for years but several questions remain, one of which you're trying to answer: are the differences in brain structure due to behaviour or are complex behaviours due to the differences in brain structure. It's a neurodevelopmental question of directionality.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JKmadu619

http://health.howstuffworks.com/human-body/systems/nervous-system/men-women-different-brains1.htm

Although doesn't directly state my point, it certainly shows it very well may be true.

I'm not sure why you're down-playing this article since it provides immense detail of your ideas and then some.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JKmadu619

http://www.emergencemarketing.com/2005/10/25/sex-in-ads-does-not-sell/

Here states that when an add features sexuality, men are far less likey to remeber what the ad was even about than women. This shows they are less likely to logically and sexually process information at the same time.

The article doesn't support your conclusion. The article states men remember less than 10%, which is too abstract to work with. It could be 9.9% or 0.9%, so you cant form any conclusion based on that unless you can find the actual data. The only data you can compare is for non-sexual ads, however, it's only a difference of 2.5% favouring women, which isn't large.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JKmadu619

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/he...tty-women.html

Here is another one that shows men suck at logical reasoning when aroused.

This article doesn't support or refute your ideas of different brain structure leading to differing brain function, so it's irrelevant. It examines allocation of cognitive resources using an evolutionary view, although its method is biased.

josbo45

It's all about the right girl

JKmadu619

In no way, shape or form was I implying men are shallow, however I don't think we can deny two simple facts:

1. Men are often caught up in the physical aspect of sex at the very moment. It's how we're built.

2. Blood flow to the penis when aroused causes less blood flow to the brain.

Regardless, I'm not going to bother arguing this any further. I've spent too much productive time searching for sources already.

- Justin

OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!

Quote:

Originally Posted by JKmadu619

1. Men are often caught up in the physical aspect of sex at the very moment. It's how we're built.

You're right, this is undeniable but it also applies to women.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JKmadu619

2. Blood flow to the penis when aroused causes less blood flow to the brain.

The brain is definitely involved in arousal by regulating vasodialation and vasoconstriction at the tallywacker. The brain is one of most crucial organs and if it were to allocate a great deal of blood to the tallywacker, in a way it is harming itself and potentially committing suicide.

JKmadu619

OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!: Agreed. Large amounts of blood cannot leave the brain, but some amount does, as concentration is harder when aroused.

- Justin

alexjames

Thank you to everyone who replied. I've decided that what you are saying is true, in the fact that if a girl loved ME, then she wouldn't care how big I was in areas other than my heart! I'm going to try and look at myself in a better frame of mind, and see where life takes me. IF I did find a lovely girl who loved me and I loved her, why would she care how big my 'little man' is?! Aslong as our hearts are set on each other that's all that matters. I just need to know HOW to find somebody though. I've never known how to talk to girls I don't know, if there was somebody working in a shop, or walking down the street i liked, I can't just start talking!

Coexist.

Well, do you know nice girls at your school who you are interested in? I wouldn't be at all nervous because of your size of your penis. You're not too small for sex at all! Most pleasurable nerve endings on a girl are on her vulva (outside of the vagina, particularly the clitoris) and two inches in the vaginal canal. It's really not a problem. Being a small, petite girl, my own vagina is naturally rather tight and intercourse was quite painful for me at first. I would have appreciated a guy like you.

Body types differ, and people have different preferences. So don't worry, personality is so much more important.

alexjames

Quote:

Originally Posted by Revolution

Well, do you know nice girls at your school who you are interested in? I wouldn't be at all nervous because of your size of your penis. You're not too small for sex at all! Most pleasurable nerve endings on a girl are on her vulva (outside of the vagina, particularly the clitoris) and two inches in the vaginal canal. It's really not a problem. Being a small, petite girl, my own vagina is naturally rather tight and intercourse was quite painful for me at first. I would have appreciated a guy like you.

Body types differ, and people have different preferences. So don't worry, personality is so much more important.

Unfortunately I finished school a few years back haha, (I'm 20!). I understand that the vagina is a fairly small part of the female body, and you don't need a cucumber sized penis to pleasure a woman lol, but sometimes I think it's more psychological, and if a girl saw a really small member, then it'd be a bit off putting? I'm not even bothered about anything sexual, as I believe that it has to be with the person you really love, as it has to be special and with a special person

But there is still something in my mind that make me feel really insecure! And also, how would I speak to girls in the street, in a shop etc, as I don't go clubbing and don't see many girls when I go to the pub!

Beautifuldreams13

If she loves you size doesn't matter. My boyfriend had the same insecurity and he's average! He also felt insecure cause only one of his balls dropped at birth. Ido not care because i love him to death. Just take a deep breath. Also remember there are so many ways to pleasure a girl. It's not just solely about sex....it's about the whole package from flowers to starts the evening off to a back massage to foreplay and so on and so forth.

As far as the pain goesvidk enough about male anatomy to have the technically right answer so I'll answer logically. As a girl I'm very tight and so things even just a finger were painful at first. It just takes time to adjust. Skin takes to the stretch. I would suggest speaking with your doctor or a different one for a second opinion.

Last thought is just be confident. Good luck

xXcanthelpmyselfXx

Honestly I wouldn't worry about it except the pain bit, I agree with the others, perhaps ask your physician, but being a girl, I'm going to give you the honest truth. If a guy is nice, sweet, and I like being around him, the last thing on my mind is going to be how big he is down there. (: don't worry about it. Good luck!