TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, birth control and sexual health, ask here!

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
pursuit-of-happiness's Avatar
 

Posts: 235
Join Date: December 7th 2010

meaningless sex with ex - May 7th 2012, 05:52 AM

I have no feelings for my ex any longer, but have been recently hurt by another guy and decided to go hang out with my ex because I thought he might make me feel better. we ended up having sex...i mean we had already done it before and were both in the mood. However to me it was meaningless and solely for sexual release. should i feel guilty about this or is it okay to use him for sex until someone better comes along...any thoughts or any one been in a similar situation?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
BillieRose88 Offline
Then I defy you, stars!
Average Joe
***
 
BillieRose88's Avatar
 
Name: Sofia
Age: 22
Gender: Other
Location: Solla Sollew ♥

Posts: 141
Join Date: April 4th 2012

Re: meaningless sex with ex - May 7th 2012, 08:43 AM

Personally, I would never have meaningless sex, though, I don't see any harm in having sex with your ex till you find someone that you do want to be in a relationship with. But be careful that when you do find a partner that you want a meaningful relationship with, they don't freak out about you constantly having sex just before a relationship with them.
I'd also consider your ex, you say about 'using him for sex until someone better comes along', make sure that your ex doesn't feel hurt if you give up and start on another guy. You should make sure that your ex deffinetly doesn't like you again.

This probably didn't help much... But Good Luck!


How about a kiss, Saumensh?
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Bibliophile Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Bibliophile's Avatar
 

Posts: 2,709
Blog Entries: 165
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: meaningless sex with ex - May 7th 2012, 10:05 AM

I'm personally against it, as you've admitted you're using them. Is that really fair on them? In my opinion, no. But do you feel guilty? Are they aware that it's meaningless? I really don't think it's okay to go on using them until 'someone better comes along'. It's leading your ex along and it's going to hurt both of you later on.

It is your choice, though. If you continue I'd recommend talking to your ex so they're aware of it being 'meaningless'.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Harmony♥ Offline
Proud Military Girlfriend
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Harmony♥'s Avatar
 
Name: Shannon
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: IRAW!

Posts: 5,741
Blog Entries: 11
Join Date: March 31st 2010

Re: meaningless sex with ex - May 7th 2012, 10:06 AM

I agree. Is it really fair to your ex to be using him? It might be meaningless to you, but did you ever think about how it might mean to him? Meaningless sex can get sticky, especially if one person has feelings for the other that the other doesn't want to reciprocate. Tread carefully here, and maybe have a conversation with your ex.











I may wear the glass slippers; But my hero wears combat boots <3 I love you, Lieutenant




HelpLink Mentor 6/13/2011
Pregnancy & Childcare Moderator 11/26/2011
Fashion & Style Moderator 12/28/2011
Social Groups Moderator 12/28/2011
  Send a message via AIM to Harmony♥  
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Coffee. Offline
Condom Queen
TeenHelp Addict
************
 
Coffee.'s Avatar
 
Name: Traci
Age: 28
Gender: she/her/hers
Location: North Carolina

Posts: 8,136
Blog Entries: 639
Join Date: October 29th 2009

Re: meaningless sex with ex - May 7th 2012, 10:22 AM

Well, is he okay with no emotional strings, and knowing that this is meaningless? If he is, then as long as you guys are using protection, I see no harm in it. However, if he has different feelings and has lusts for a more in dept relationship, I would make sure that you establish the relationship you want and probably end any sexual encounters with him.


I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
Andrea Gibson, "I Sing The Body Electric; Especially When My Power Is Out"
  Send a message via MSN to Coffee.  
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Just Peachy. Offline
Normality, my friends.

Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Just Peachy.'s Avatar
 
Name: Lynds :)
Age: 28
Gender: Grill ;)
Location: Seattle

Posts: 7,290
Blog Entries: 199
Join Date: February 19th 2009

Re: meaningless sex with ex - May 7th 2012, 02:26 PM

I think it's perfectly okay for you to have sex with him, as long as you're both doing it for the same reasons. If he's having sex with you because he thinks you two will have another shot at a relationship, but you just want sex, then it's not okay. It's not okay to use someone, ever. It's hurtful, and I'm sure you'd feel the same if the tables were turned. You have to remember, he's a person too. With sex, you need to make sure you and whoever your partner is are on the same page. You need to make it clear to him what you want out of this. If he's all for sex with the same reasons you are; have at it. But make sure you're both on the same page.


  Send a message via AIM to Just Peachy. Send a message via MSN to Just Peachy.  
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
pursuit-of-happiness's Avatar
 

Posts: 235
Join Date: December 7th 2010

Re: meaningless sex with ex - May 7th 2012, 07:40 PM

we are 100% on the same page..he is really into another girl so thats not really what I am worried about. I just usually dont sleep with guys im not sexually attracted to but I feel like that is why I always end up getting hurt. Having sex with him wont hurt me at all or make me feel attached so is it bad that I just want someone I can have fun with when i get horny? I am scared of going through a dry spell and really dont want to sleep with someone random or anyone who would just be another number to the guys i've slept with. Any insight?
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
metalheadjessus Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
metalheadjessus's Avatar
 

Posts: 172
Join Date: April 7th 2010

Re: meaningless sex with ex - May 7th 2012, 08:00 PM

This sounds familiar; if he's into another girl then it was probably the same for him too so as long as there was no emotional ties or anything for him either then it's fine. What's done is done and so you shouldn't worry too much. As for the not wanting to sleep with a randomer, it would be far better to do it with someone that you know well, and your ex would surely be a good option as you suggested. You sound sensible, so in all honesty don't worry
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Coffee. Offline
Condom Queen
TeenHelp Addict
************
 
Coffee.'s Avatar
 
Name: Traci
Age: 28
Gender: she/her/hers
Location: North Carolina

Posts: 8,136
Blog Entries: 639
Join Date: October 29th 2009

Re: meaningless sex with ex - May 7th 2012, 08:07 PM

100% on the same page? Then use protection. It's MUCH better than seeing somebody random, and as long as he's doing it for the same reasons, I see no problem with it.


I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
Andrea Gibson, "I Sing The Body Electric; Especially When My Power Is Out"
  Send a message via MSN to Coffee.  
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Garyl Offline
What's next, little man?

Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Garyl's Avatar
 
Name: Eli
Age: 30
Gender: Non-binary

Posts: 6,110
Blog Entries: 984
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: meaningless sex with ex - May 8th 2012, 05:53 AM

As long as you feel fine about it and are using proper protection there is no technical reason why you shouldn't sleep together.

However, I advise caution. Sex with ex-boyfriends/girlfriends is really tricky territory. It has a funny way of leaving one person or the other feeling shafted. If either of you is even remotely not on the same page I suggest stopping to reassess the situation. Casual sex is only casual if you two can keep it that way. Otherwise it can become damaging for one or both of you if feelings somehow get involved again.


Let's eat some spectral oats!
  Send a message via Yahoo to Garyl  
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
meaningless, sex

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2021, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.