meaningless sex with ex

pursuit-of-happiness · **meaningless sex with ex -** May 7th 2012, 05:52 AM

I have no feelings for my ex any longer, but have been recently hurt by another guy and decided to go hang out with my ex because I thought he might make me feel better. we ended up having sex...i mean we had already done it before and were both in the mood. However to me it was meaningless and solely for sexual release. should i feel guilty about this or is it okay to use him for sex until someone better comes along...any thoughts or any one been in a similar situation?

BillieRose88 · **Re: meaningless sex with ex -** May 7th 2012, 08:43 AM

Personally, I would never have meaningless sex, though, I don't see any harm in having sex with your ex till you find someone that you do want to be in a relationship with. But be careful that when you do find a partner that you want a meaningful relationship with, they don't freak out about you constantly having sex just before a relationship with them.
I'd also consider your ex, you say about 'using him for sex until someone better comes along', make sure that your ex doesn't feel hurt if you give up and start on another guy. You should make sure that your ex deffinetly doesn't like you again.

This probably didn't help much... But Good Luck!

Bibliophile · **Re: meaningless sex with ex -** May 7th 2012, 10:05 AM

I'm personally against it, as you've admitted you're using them. Is that really fair on them? In my opinion, no. But do you feel guilty? Are they aware that it's meaningless? I really don't think it's okay to go on using them until 'someone better comes along'. It's leading your ex along and it's going to hurt both of you later on.

It is your choice, though. If you continue I'd recommend talking to your ex so they're aware of it being 'meaningless'.

Harmony♥ · **Re: meaningless sex with ex -** May 7th 2012, 10:06 AM

I agree. Is it really fair to your ex to be using him? It might be meaningless to you, but did you ever think about how it might mean to him? Meaningless sex can get sticky, especially if one person has feelings for the other that the other doesn't want to reciprocate. Tread carefully here, and maybe have a conversation with your ex.

Coffee. · **Re: meaningless sex with ex -** May 7th 2012, 10:22 AM

Well, is he okay with no emotional strings, and knowing that this is meaningless? If he is, then as long as you guys are using protection, I see no harm in it. However, if he has different feelings and has lusts for a more in dept relationship, I would make sure that you establish the relationship you want and probably end any sexual encounters with him.

Just Peachy. · **Re: meaningless sex with ex -** May 7th 2012, 02:26 PM

I think it's perfectly okay for you to have sex with him, as long as you're both doing it for the same reasons. If he's having sex with you because he thinks you two will have another shot at a relationship, but you just want sex, then it's not okay. It's not okay to use someone, ever. It's hurtful, and I'm sure you'd feel the same if the tables were turned. You have to remember, he's a person too. With sex, you need to make sure you and whoever your partner is are on the same page. You need to make it clear to him what you want out of this. If he's all for sex with the same reasons you are; have at it. But make sure you're both on the same page.

pursuit-of-happiness · **Re: meaningless sex with ex -** May 7th 2012, 07:40 PM

we are 100% on the same page..he is really into another girl so thats not really what I am worried about. I just usually dont sleep with guys im not sexually attracted to but I feel like that is why I always end up getting hurt. Having sex with him wont hurt me at all or make me feel attached so is it bad that I just want someone I can have fun with when i get horny? I am scared of going through a dry spell and really dont want to sleep with someone random or anyone who would just be another number to the guys i've slept with. Any insight?

metalheadjessus · **Re: meaningless sex with ex -** May 7th 2012, 08:00 PM

This sounds familiar; if he's into another girl then it was probably the same for him too so as long as there was no emotional ties or anything for him either then it's fine. What's done is done and so you shouldn't worry too much. As for the not wanting to sleep with a randomer, it would be far better to do it with someone that you know well, and your ex would surely be a good option as you suggested. You sound sensible, so in all honesty don't worry

Coffee. · **Re: meaningless sex with ex -** May 7th 2012, 08:07 PM

100% on the same page? Then use protection. It's MUCH better than seeing somebody random, and as long as he's doing it for the same reasons, I see no problem with it.

Garyl · **Re: meaningless sex with ex -** May 8th 2012, 05:53 AM

As long as you feel fine about it and are using proper protection there is no technical reason why you shouldn't sleep together.

However, I advise caution. Sex with ex-boyfriends/girlfriends is really tricky territory. It has a funny way of leaving one person or the other feeling shafted. If either of you is even remotely not on the same page I suggest stopping to reassess the situation. Casual sex is only casual if you two can keep it that way. Otherwise it can become damaging for one or both of you if feelings somehow get involved again.