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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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calamityjane Offline
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Question sex? - May 15th 2012, 03:22 PM

This thread has been labeled as non-PG13 by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for younger users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Is it wrong to have sex with a boy that you've known for 9 years, you both don't 'love' each other, or intend a relationship as such, but we both just want a little bit of fun? we're both 16 pretty soon and we both have discussed it a lot, and both really want to, but I'm also worried that I'm a little bit 'small' down there? not sure if anyone else knows what I'm talking about, or if it's even normal but I'm worried it will be so, so painful!? like excruciating!

Pretty confused, and I'd like a little advice :')

Thankyou! <3<3

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Re: sex? - May 15th 2012, 03:55 PM

It's not wrong, but sex can ruin a relationship, ESPECIALLY a friendship. It could bring out feelings you didn't know you had, feelings that the other party might not reciprocate. Sex isn't something you should mess around with. You need to tread carefully, and protect your heart. Don't make any hasty decisions without talking to him first.

Secondly, pain is different for everyone, and nobody can tell you it's going to hurt or that it's not going to hurt. Relaxation and lots of foreplay will help with that.

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Re: sex? - May 15th 2012, 03:56 PM

thankyou very much for everything <3

wake me up, when september ends
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Re: sex? - May 15th 2012, 06:49 PM

It's common to lose your virginity with someone you're not "in love" with. Sometimes it's a spur of the moment thing, sometimes people just get tired of being a virgin, sometimes a person is unfortunately a victim of rape, and sometimes someone like you wants to lose it with someone they know and trust. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, per se. Shannon does bring up issues of the heart. You do tend to fall in love with your first and if one of you does and the other doesn't there's a broken heart involved.

A lot of people have sex with a friend. People say it ruins friendships but that happens when the people involved don't understand what their partner's expectations are or if somebody changes what they want out of it. If you find it's having a bad effect on your friendship you're always free to stop. Communication is the key to making any relationship work and this is no exception. Unfortunately communication can sometimes be very difficult.

Sex isn't always painful the first time. It depends on a lot of things. If it is painful it's always ok to stop and try it again later. Important to have a place where you're safe and not hurried, take it slow, have some lube just in case and of course some protection. A lot of things can go wrong the first time, usually not but if it does don't get upset about it. There's always a next time. It's just sex. It's the love and affection that counts.

What just happened?
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Re: sex? - May 15th 2012, 07:11 PM

There's nothing wrong with safe sex just remember that sex can ruin long term friendships as others have mentioned which is a crying shame, if its your first time it probably won't go as smooth as you'd imagine but hey everyone goes through that situation. Sex is something I find a lot of people rush into just take into account the risk that's involved.
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Re: sex? - May 16th 2012, 12:20 AM

Since you're questioning it so much, it seems as though you're not ready. Like it's been said, it can completely ruin your friendship. And whether or not it will hurt, no one can tell you. It hurts for some people, doesn't for others.

But you don't seem ready at all.
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Garyl Offline
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Re: sex? - May 18th 2012, 07:02 AM

The only important thing is whether it feels wrong for YOU. If YOU are uncomfortable with it, don't do it. But no, sex doesn't have to be saved for someone you love or are in a relationship with if you don't want it to be. Just be sure that you still have adequate protection.

Let's eat some spectral oats!
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