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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Arlwynne Offline
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No pleasure in masturbation - March 5th 2013, 12:54 AM

Hello, i need some advice in masturbation, I am a 13 year old girl. Every once in a while, I have masturbated, or attempted to. I understand that sometimes clitoral simulation is needed, but that doesn't help very much. I have tried toys with internal simulation but they hurt, even after i tried to use them a few times to get used to it. The only thing that works is the clit. And even playing around with that barely gives my anything, and it lasts only seconds. Is this a low sex drive? I have been thinking about being Asexual...

The strongest pleasure i have had are these strange dreams i had a few times. I didn't see anything but a few "pictures" of my crush on rare occasions , and just an extremely strong feeling of pleasure. What should i do and what can these dreams mean?
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Re: No pleasure in masturbation - March 5th 2013, 06:44 AM

Hey there,

Asexuality does not mean that you get no pleasure in masturbating or that you have a low labido, it means that you have little to no sexual attraction to other people, and it is more classified under sexual orientations (or in its case, lacking of sexual orientation.) Asexual people are very often able to achieve orgasm and even have sex, but they have no particular sexual attraction to others.

I don't think your problem is your sexual orientation. I'm not even sure you have a problem. First, masturbation takes practice. This isn't something we can teach you (since it's very personal and we also don't allow Non PG-13 content on the site) but it's something that takes learning with time. Second, I wasn't masturbating frequently at age 13. I was touching myself, experimenting a bit, but I did not have a huge libido at this time. Although others do, it varies a lot per person, and this was not something of my interest at that age. I didn't start masturbating frequently until I was sixteen.

Overall, I would just continue experimenting and learning about your body along with just giving yourself time. You don't HAVE to masturbate, and you're not expected to in order to be normal. It's not bad to do so, it's not bad not to. Just let whatever comes natural to you, well, come.


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Re: No pleasure in masturbation - March 7th 2013, 06:49 PM

Hey there!

At thirteen, masturbating is I'm sure quite a new thing! It can sometimes take a while to find out what you like, and what gives you the best experience. Everyone is different, and even our own likes can change from time to time.

As Masterpiece said above, the best thing to do is to listen to your body. If you're body wants some pleasuring, then masturbate. But don't feel like there is a right time, or even a daily/weekly rota that you should be doing this. It is a very personal matter, and only you will ultimately be able to figure it all out.

This does not mean you have a low sex drive, and the fact that you have stimulation from dreams means that the need to masturbate might be something that's building up slowly within you. A lot of people start out with dreams and then progress from there.

Take everything slow, listen to your body and don't feel like it is the "in" thing to do xx


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Re: No pleasure in masturbation - March 20th 2013, 05:33 PM

I'm 14. For me, only clitoral stimulation works. I've tried with insertion and I can only use 1 finger. However, this won't cause pleasure for everyone. Not everyone has a g spot and it's hard to find. I've not found mine yet.


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Re: No pleasure in masturbation - March 21st 2013, 10:50 PM

Hey, I wouldn't worry about this at all. Masturbation is all about exploration and experimentation - only you can work out what feels best for you! I was in a similar boat when I was younger and only really started masturbating regularly when I figured out how to orgasm - which was when I was eighteen! (Not that it's that age for everyone, but that's what it was for me!)
Just don't worry - do whatever you want to do, be patient and keep exploring yourself. There's no rules


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Re: No pleasure in masturbation - March 23rd 2013, 03:12 PM

Not everyone likes to masturbate the same way. Some woman can do with fingers only on the clitoris OR inside the vagina, some people use vibrators and other toys inside OR on the clitoris. It can take sometime to get to know your body well enough to get anywhere. Plus, even with girls who masturbate I know many girls who've never had an orgasm, it can be very hard for some girls to orgasm (not that that's really your questions, I'm just including it just cause I'm not sure to what standard your attempting to reach). Just try a variety of things.
I doubt that it makes you asexual (read above) nor does it make you any less straight. Not that being gay/lesbian/trans etc etc is a bad thing... It's just that they are just as likely to like sex just as much as the next person and are just as likely to enjoy masturbation.




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Re: No pleasure in masturbation - April 2nd 2013, 08:19 PM

i used to have the exact same problem. Okay this is gonna sound weird but you need to get....hard first. I meant get you clit aroused so it feels semi-hard like by tickling or smacking it. Then get two fingers and rub it from side to side and see if thats better. keep doing it untill you reach orgasm.
   
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