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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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Dan Sebastian Offline
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Long Term Relationship Without Sex - July 29th 2015, 08:45 PM

I have been in a relationship with this girl for 16 months and she's been my best friend for 3 years now.
We love each other a lot and I did not ever force her to do anything against her will, but one thing bothers me. She is a virgin and does not want to have sex. When we feel horny, we masturbate each other or oral, but the things get pretty boring (done these for 9 months).
We tried normal sex, but she says it hurts too bad, so I thought talking to her might gain her confidence, but she does not feel prepared and I can't seem to change anything about it.
What can I do?
   
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Re: Long Term Relationship Without Sex - July 29th 2015, 11:32 PM

First off, welcome to TeenHelp.

If she doesn't want to have sex, she doesn't want to have sex. The only thing you can do in this situation is respect her boundaries. At that point you can decide if you are okay being in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to have sex, or whether penetrative sex is important enough to you that you feel you need it in a relationship. You've talked to her about it on multiple occasions it sounds like and her position still hasn't changed. It's time to respect it or move on.

There are things you can do to make the sexual activities you engage in more exciting. We cannot give you tips here, but a Google search along those lines should yield you some helpful results.



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Re: Long Term Relationship Without Sex - July 30th 2015, 04:38 AM

There are a number of different reasons that someone might not want to have sex. The fact is that you have to try and respect your girlfriends wishes. If you have tried sex before and it hurt it is possible that she is afraid to try again. You could talk to her about that but at the end of the day if she says she isn't ready then you can't force her to have sex and should stick with things she does feel comfortable with. I've been googling certain topics to try and find things couples can do that don't involve penetrative sex. If you do a google search you will come up with a few different sources.

Also, you might want to decide if you want to continue in this relationship if there isn't going to be sex any time soon. Some people can handle that and some people cannot.


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Re: Long Term Relationship Without Sex - July 30th 2015, 06:03 AM

If you love her, you must respect her.
   
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Re: Long Term Relationship Without Sex - July 30th 2015, 08:13 AM

Thank you all.
It will be a hard decision.
   
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