Non-PG13: Masturbation fantasies

[Garyl]

I have a question that I'm interested in knowing other people's answer to.

I know people fantasize about all kinds of things when they masturbate. Masturbation is a healthy way to express sexuality and, sometimes, to think about things we might not be able to realistically do, like certain people or activities.

I have no problem with what other people fantasize about when masturbating. However, I've always felt weird about masturbating while thinking of other people I'm not involved with, like a celebrity or someone I know that I am attracted to but not in a relationship with. The thing is, I don't know *why.* I just feel dirty and wrong for thinking of them in that way without their permission.

So I'm putting it out there: do you think it's okay to fantasize about others when you masturbate? Should it only be to porn? Or to people you have a relationship with? Or is it okay if it's friends or strangers or celebrities you're attracted to but not involved with?

[Wheek!]

This is just my opinion, but as long as you're not telling the person the details of your fantasies or anything, I think it's fine. It's not like you're trying to act on them with the person or describing them to the person where they may get creeped out.

[sauorkan]

My rule is that you need to make these people up, like you're telling a fictional erotic story in your mind. Similarly, this can go to include already established fictional characters from TV, movies, books of all genres including anime/magna, video games, etc.

The exception, ironically, would be porn.

I find it really weird to masturbate to real-world people.

[Brandon]

It's been proven that women are more mentally stimulated than men -- this is why women tend to prefer things like erotica, dirty talk, etc for arousal. Men are visually stimulated typically, which is why men tend to use porn more than women do. Consequently, a lot of men don't really think...they'll usually look for something that physically appeals to them, maybe a fetish, article of clothing, type of woman, etc and let the eyes do the stimulation. There ARE videos I tend to watch more than not, but those videos are just because, for whatever reason, they're more visually appealing to me than the others I've seen in certain categories. It depends on what kinda mood I'm in depends on what category I'll look into.

Now, in the past, when I'd have to masturbate in the bathroom without any visual stimulation, I didn't really think about one woman in particular, but more of a collection of women. Maybe I saw a woman at the grocery store and remembered her face, while I saw another woman and she had a long blond pony tail, and there was a vagina I saw on the internet that seemed enjoyable that I used for my imagination. Depending on the position, maybe the woman didn't have a face and all I saw was her back, hair, etc. There was never really one woman that I thought of -- even in the beginning, when I was going through a rough break up, I'd think of my ex, but it wouldn't be her entire body, but the face, hair, and maybe other portions but not the complete picture.

When there's a pattern, I think it's a cause for concern. For instance, if I jerk off and I think about a woman's face in all of the mind skits that I create, then it's obvious my mind is preoccupied with that woman's face. Or maybe I'm thinking of my fiance, but in another woman's body that I keep imagining. But even then...if I see a woman with yoga pants at the grocery store, I may have a general idea of what she looks like naked, but she could have a lot of buttcrack hair, large nipples, stretch marks, etc etc. The only detail of what I have is what her ass looks like in yoga pants. That image may play a part in the mental skit, but if the woman I'm thinking of proceeds to take her yoga pants off, her ass would probably look different than the actual woman's ass, and that's because my mind would piece together several memories, images, etc to create the kind of ass that would allow me to be stimulated enough to achieve ejaculation. With imagination, the combinations are endless whereas porn you're looking for particular things, and settling for others: for instance, MMF threesome porn. I'm a straight male so obviously I wouldn't be watching it for the men, but it's more about the scenario that might entice me.

Basically, it can't be personal. If it's a situation you've encountered with someone in your past, it's personal. If it's someone you've never had sex with and don't really know what they look like without clothes, it's personal when it becomes a habit. However, if it's just someone you've seen at the store, it's probably not even gonna be half of that person: for all you know, he could have a small wiener and pancake size nipples. However, if you're just using the image of his face because his face looked good for your imagination, then that's as innocent as you could probably get. Sure, it's easy to get out of hand if the thoughts become patterns, but if it's almost random pieces of information that you're attracted to at the time, and you piece this ideal person into your imagination, then you're not really attaching yourself to anything since this imagined person is not real.

[pinkgurl18]

I once saw a guy peeing by a tree and he had a sexy looking penis.When I got home I masturbated thinking about it.I have masturbated to that image in my mind a number of times since.