Cannot orgasm during sex

[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]I've been having sex with my boyfriend for 5 months now. He is my second long-term boyfriend and second sexual partner. In both cases, I've never orgasmed during sex. I have tried everything we could think of with my current boyfriend. We set the mood, have a long foreplay, use lubrication and try different positions. We tried oral sex many times, using fingers, and stimulation during penetrative sex, and even anal sex. Nothing worked.

Then we decided to buy a vibrator, and it also didn't work. We've tried it together but I also tried alone. I tried different positions with it and it's the same all the time: I don't feel any pleasure, I'm just like... neutral. I feel it, but it's not giving me any pleasure whatsoever. If anything, it makes me bored and frustrated that I'm not feeling anything. And when we used it for stimulation during penetrative sex, it seems it was more pleasant for my boyfriend than myself.

It's really frustrating and has an impact on my sex life. I feel upset, disappointed and I feel like there's something wrong with me. The vibrator was our last idea and I don't know what to do anymore.[/size]

[Astro04]

You simply have not the same "timing" with your boyfriend.
Also try to eat some fruits with some "aphrodisiacs" effects, like passion fruit.
Also try to think first about your pleasure. That will help.

Hey there! Thanks for posting. I hope we can be of some help to you.

It's actually really, really common not to orgasm during sexual intercourse. Many people don't orgasm from penetration alone, and can struggle to orgasm with a partner already due to a number of factors.

I actually don't myself, and it used to be frustrating for me. If I may, what I found helpful was to stop looking at orgasm as the end goal of sex. While physical release and satisfaction are enjoyable, it helps to look at sex and physical intimacy simply as a an experience shared between the people engaging in it. You don't know how the experience is going to go, and that's the fun! You're simply exploring with each other and enjoying the connection you feel with that person. Maybe orgasm happens, maybe it doesn't, but that's okay. What is important is you shared in something connecting and important together.

This applies even to sex not in monogamous, longterm partnerships, and whether there are more than two partners, although that may not be something that applies here or to your life. But simply, intimacy is an experience, even with yourself. Open-mindedness, acceptance, and exploration apply to self-pleasure as well!

Hope this helps. Feel free to reach out more if you need to!

[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]

Originally Posted by Subversive

Hey there! Thanks for posting. I hope we can be of some help to you.

It's actually really, really common not to orgasm during sexual intercourse. Many people don't orgasm from penetration alone, and can struggle to orgasm with a partner already due to a number of factors.

I actually don't myself, and it used to be frustrating for me. If I may, what I found helpful was to stop looking at orgasm as the end goal of sex. While physical release and satisfaction are enjoyable, it helps to look at sex and physical intimacy simply as a an experience shared between the people engaging in it. You don't know how the experience is going to go, and that's the fun! You're simply exploring with each other and enjoying the connection you feel with that person. Maybe orgasm happens, maybe it doesn't, but that's okay. What is important is you shared in something connecting and important together.

This applies even to sex not in monogamous, longterm partnerships, and whether there are more than two partners, although that may not be something that applies here or to your life. But simply, intimacy is an experience, even with yourself. Open-mindedness, acceptance, and exploration apply to self-pleasure as well!

Hope this helps. Feel free to reach out more if you need to!

Hey, thank you for your reply.
Thing is, the way I've ever orgasmed in my life was in only one certain position - one that doesn't really work during sex. So I'm just kind of disappointed and resigned. Why cannot I orgasm, if I/we have tried so many different things? We have sex every day and it's just kind of frustrating. Of course I enjoy our intimacy anyway, but having sex so often, I would like myself to orgasm as well, not only my boyfriend.[/size]