Need advice

[Jonty]

I am 13 and live with my parents and am an only child, we have a great life with swimming pool etc, and I realise how lucky I am. This summer as my parents both work, instead of sending me to a summer placement, they invited my cousin to stay with us. She is 16 and her parents are divorced so they dont get holidays etc.
It was all ok but yesterday she said why dont we skinny dip in the pool, I was kinda shocked, as im quite shy of my body, but she said if she did it I had to. I eventually agreed, and tbh after a few minutes it felt fine.
When we went back into the house she patted my bum, and said if you like we could masturbate together, I said no but im really tempted as im not sure about girl stuff at all.
Im confused though is it illegal is it wrong, is it an ok thing to do, do others do it, or have done it,
Please help as i know shes gonna suggest it again.

[Lisa3]

I think it's too early for you to think about that! That's my honest thinking.
Do you, at least, think why she's acting like that?

[Ennui.]

Hey,

This is definitely a tough situation to be in!

You are only 13, and your cousin is 16. Both of you are in very different life stages so I worry that she is taking advantage of you. While sometimes an age gap is okay, in the US you'd even be at two very different levels of schooling and just are at different phases of life. Be careful how you proceed, because this may end up harming you more in the long run.

The fact that she is family is also concerning to me. It may make things difficult in the long run to do anything sexual such as masturbating with her. If you're caught it may damage the family dynamics.

You're also young. You're only 13 and have plenty of time to figure out sex and figure out girls. It's okay to take your time with it. The fact that you're unsure how you want to proceed is what raises a flag for me. If you're not entirely sure this is what you want it's probably a good idea to pump the brakes, so you don't do something you'll regret later on. Consent has to be given as an enthusiastic yes, and if you're unsure about things you don't have to give consent. I'd take some time to think about if this is what you really want to do.

I'd also talk to her about it and ask her to stop trying sexual things around you, at the very least until you figure out what you want to do. You don't need to be pressured or coerced into doing anything that you may not really want to do.

Are your parents open to talking about things like this with you? You said you don't know a lot about girl stuff, so maybe they can answer some of the basic questions you have. They may not get explicit with things but maybe they'd be willing to answer questions about dating, anatomy, and things of that nature. I'd also suggest that you tell them what your cousin is trying to do so they can set boundaries with her.

[Jonty]

The weather has been wet and we havent been able to swim for a couple of days, but its getting hotter again, im so confused by this half of me really wants to do this, I masturbate anyway, so is it so bad to do it with her, which seems really exciting, but the other part of me is nervous, and it feels wrong I dont know which way to go.

[Ennui.]

I wouldn't do anything with her until you are sure it's what you really want. The fact that it's your cousin aside, you said it feels wrong and that's a big indicator that you may not be ready to do something like that with her. Take the time to really think it over. You don't want to do anything you'll end up regretting later.