TeenHelp - idk what to do

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- - idk what to do (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f6-sex-puberty/t164319-idk-what-do/)

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]keep going onto sex chats with older guys, don't let anyone see my face, I masturbating with them alot,feels good, hide it from everyone,no one knows this and I can't stop. Help please.[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

Re: idk what to do

How often do you do this?

Re: idk what to do

Hey,

This definitely sounds difficult to deal with!

The thing I worry about is if you are a minor, any type of video can be considered child pornography. It's good that you don't show your face, but there's still the risk of it being traced back to you. There's the risk of them taking screenshots. Even if you are an adult, it can become addictive to go on these websites, which sounds like what's happening to you.

There are apps out there that allow you to block certain sites as well, so maybe that's something you can look into. When you try to go onto the site you won't be able to access it anymore, and that may serve as a reminder that you don't want to be doing this type of activity anymore.

Do you have a doctor that you can talk to about feeling addicted to doing this? They may be able to provide some suggestions, and they're not there to yell at you or judge you. They've seen a lot!

Is there anything else you can do to channel your sexual energy so you don't feel the need to do this? For example, intense exercise is one way to release pent up energy into something positive. You can also do something to distract yourself like playing an exciting video game, dancing to music, or doing art. I think the important thing is trying to find a safe distraction or outlet that works for you.

You can do this!
Dez

Re: idk what to do

Hey there,

This definitely sounds difficult to deal with!

As Dez mentioned, even without showing your face, this could be considered a form of child pornography if you're a minor. Whether you are a minor or not, there are still inherent risks associated with engaging in sexual activities with a stranger online. While not showing your face is a good safety precaution, it doesn't completely eliminate the risk of it being traced back to you. If you are a minor and these men know that, they also aren't people that you should continue engaging with, as they certainly don't have your best interest in mind.

The fact that you've recognized that this is a behavior you don't want to continue is a great first step. Recognizing that and asking for help is something you should be very proud of yourself for. The next step is to find ways to stop participating in the behavior. Utilizing apps that will block your ability to go on the websites could definitely be beneficial. However, if you feel that you will still be tempted to find a way onto them, perhaps you could move your laptop (or whatever device you use) to a more public area of your home, such as the living room. By designating a public space for using the device, you are also putting up an extra barrier that will prevent you from accessing the websites and continuing to engage in sexual activities with these men.

Talking to someone about it can also help a lot. If it's accessible for you, you might want to consider reaching out to a therapist to talk through what you've experienced and the fact that you feel addicted to doing it. It's nothing to be ashamed of and the therapist won't judge you for it! Instead, they will be able to provide a safe, supportive environment for you to talk through things and they may have some techniques to share with you that may help.

In the meantime, finding alternative activities will help a lot! Do you know what the driving motivation is for you when you choose to go on the websites? Knowing that will help you find activities that allow you to have an outlet for those feelings, but in a way that is significantly safer. Dez provided some great examples above, but I would be more than happy to offer other suggestions to fit different needs if you think that might be helpful!

You can do this! Please feel free to respond to this thread or reach out via PM if you want to talk about this some more.

Take care,
Sam