I don't feel sexual attraction and have no interest in sex

[morgsloves]

When I was in my teens, my hormones never really made me feel any way where I needed to release sexual tension or along those lines. I had a crush in high school, but now I look back, and it felt more romantic than anything else. Now I'm in my 20s; my libido is non-existent, and I don't feel sexually attracted to guys like I assumed I would. I do want a relationship, but it will probably be hard to find someone who isn't interested in any sexual activity. My mum joked that I could become a nun; she said that I'll probably change my mind in the future, but I genuinely don't see that happening.

[Face Up.]

Hey,

I'm sorry you're going through this!

I first want to say there's nothing wrong with you. If you want, you can go to the doctor to get your hormone levels checked, but this is optional and there's not necessarily anything wrong with you medically. What you're describing to me sounds like you're asexual. Asexual people lack sexual attraction, but they can still be romantically attracted to someone because romantic and sexual attraction aren't always the same. You definitely can be in a relationship without experiencing sexual attraction. Some asexuals have sex sometimes and others don't. I'm in a few asexual groups on Facebook and there are people who are in relationships even being asexual, so there definitely is hope for you too. It's all about communication in any relationship. Be up front about your boundaries and what you are or aren't comfortable with when that discussion comes up.

You don't have to assign a label to yourself, though. It's whatever you're the most comfortable with, because you know yourself best.

I hope this helps!
Dez

[Dude111]

I wonder if you had tried different stuff if it would have made you feel better?

[morgsloves]

Originally Posted by Face Up.

Hey,

I'm sorry you're going through this!

I first want to say there's nothing wrong with you. If you want, you can go to the doctor to get your hormone levels checked, but this is optional and there's not necessarily anything wrong with you medically. What you're describing to me sounds like you're asexual. Asexual people lack sexual attraction, but they can still be romantically attracted to someone because romantic and sexual attraction aren't always the same. You definitely can be in a relationship without experiencing sexual attraction. Some asexuals have sex sometimes and others don't. I'm in a few asexual groups on Facebook and there are people who are in relationships even being asexual, so there definitely is hope for you too. It's all about communication in any relationship. Be up front about your boundaries and what you are or aren't comfortable with when that discussion comes up.

You don't have to assign a label to yourself, though. It's whatever you're the most comfortable with, because you know yourself best.

I hope this helps!
Dez

Thanks for the reply, Dez! I know about asexuality and have read up about it; I don't feel like labelling myself and am happy with how things are. Communication is definitely important; if and when the time comes for me to explore a relationship, I know I'll make my boundaries clear. My ideal is a romantic relationship. I'd only ever have sex if I wanted children; other than that i could never see myself doing it.

[morgsloves]

Originally Posted by Dude111

I wonder if you had tried different stuff if it would have made you feel better?

Hey Dude111! What do you mean by different stuff? If you mean sexually, then it's not about trying. I realised I was forcing myself to do something that I neither enjoyed nor was interested in. Great for those who can enjoy that stuff and can feel great afterwards. Those in the asexual community say that cake and garlic bread are better than sex, and I agree. Eating my favourite foods definitely gives me more dopamine than anything sexual does.

[Dude111]