Right Age For Sex

[Cosmo]

Originally Posted by Lizzie

Once you are living on your own and are financially, emotionally and physically stable and are in a loving and committed relationship. Because sex is made to create children and that is exactly what it does, even with protection it still can happen. And you have to be prepared to either raise a child, or give it up for adoption. (Depending on where you live, abortion may not be an option, and personally I don’t think it should be an option, but that is another topic.)

I agree totally with everything said here.

[Dr. Gregory House]

For myself, there is no age. It's marriage that will determine when I have sex.

I also don't think there's an age when it comes to sex because I think it's also a judge of when you know you're ready to support a child (even if you use birth control, it's still a slight possibility) or when you're mentally ready to make crucial decisions if it were to happen.

That being said, as far as giving you an age, I'll say 18. By then, a person doesn't have to depend on their parents for everything, they should be working (if they're not in school), etc. At that point, you're an adult, and are considered old enough to make your own decisions.

[her_beautiful_mistake]

Originally Posted by Lizzie

Once you are living on your own and are financially, emotionally and physically stable and are in a loving and committed relationship. Because sex is made to create children and that is exactly what it does, even with protection it still can happen. And you have to be prepared to either raise a child, or give it up for adoption. (Depending on where you live, abortion may not be an option, and personally I don’t think it should be an option, but that is another topic.)

Do you really believe you should not have sex until you are able to take care of a child?

I would say you should not start trying for a baby until you are ready to take care of a child ...

As for having a child:
a) If you use proper contreception, you are probably going to be okay. Condoms split but no doctor I know would recommend condoms as a soul method of contraception. There is emergency contraception avalible for up to 5 days after unprotected sex.
b) Abortion is legal in the countries that most of us are posting from. I would not want a child right now, but do I have sex? Yes. If I got pregnant, I would have an abortion or if I felt unable to, give it up for adoption.

You do not agree with abortion but that shouldn't stop you from seeing that for the vast majority of people it is a very real option. And so most people do not need to be in a place where they can take care of a baby in order to have sex.

If I were to go by your rules, I would not have sex until was 28+ , I don't finish medical school until I am 26, then two years of foundation training.

[emma01]

I think 18. This topic is debated so often, but I really dont see how one can have true love at 13 years old. I really think that is should be saved till your in a serious relationship, because losing your virginity is such a permanent thing, and yea you may be proud to say "I lost my virginity at 13" but when you get to 70 years old, will you still be proud of that?

[Algernon]

Originally Posted by her_beautiful_mistake

Do you really believe you should not have sex until you are able to take care of a child?

I would say you should not start trying for a baby until you are ready to take care of a child ...

As for having a child:
a) If you use proper contreception, you are probably going to be okay. Condoms split but no doctor I know would recommend condoms as a soul method of contraception. There is emergency contraception avalible for up to 5 days after unprotected sex.
b) Abortion is legal in the countries that most of us are posting from. I would not want a child right now, but do I have sex? Yes. If I got pregnant, I would have an abortion or if I felt unable to, give it up for adoption.

You do not agree with abortion but that shouldn't stop you from seeing that for the vast majority of people it is a very real option. And so most people do not need to be in a place where they can take care of a baby in order to have sex.

If I were to go by your rules, I would not have sex until was 28+ , I don't finish medical school until I am 26, then two years of foundation training.

I fully enforce 110 percent that an individual should be able to take care of a child if they are going to have sex, S*** happens, even if you are careful. And by the way, condoms and Plan B are not completely safe no matter how you twist it.

[silentmuffin]

I don't really know if there is a "right age" to start having sex. But I always felt that I would wait at least until I was 18. Because when you're younger than 18, as much as you'd hate to admit it, you're still your parents' responsibility. And I wouldn't want to put my parents through the possible horrors of me getting pregnant or getting an STD or anything. I didn't want them holding that over my head and having to support me AND a baby financially and emotionally. Plus I knew I was nowhere near mature enough. I think a lot of people these days think they're more mature than they really are. Just because you're a responsible 16 year old doesn't mean you're anywhere near ready to deal with the responsibilities of safe sex or possible pregnancy.

[her_beautiful_mistake]

Originally Posted by Algernon

I fully enforce 110 percent that an individual should be able to take care of a child if they are going to have sex, S*** happens, even if you are careful. And by the way, condoms and Plan B are not completely safe no matter how you twist it.

Sure there is a very minute chance (although you'd be seriously SERIOUSLY unlucky if you use pill/implant + condoms) but abortions are defintley successful. And if you think you'd be okay with an abortion/giving it up for adoption, what is the problem? I could never take care of a child right now, but that is not the only option avaliable to me if I got pregnant.

Still say that you're actually dreaming if you think people are ever going to stick to this. Sometimes I do wonder what kind of world some people grew up in, I mean I know I've lived a fairly sheltered life compared to some, but really?

[Algernon]

Originally Posted by her_beautiful_mistake

Sure there is a very minute chance (although you'd be seriously SERIOUSLY unlucky if you use pill/implant + condoms) but abortions are defintley successful. And if you think you'd be okay with an abortion/giving it up for adoption, what is the problem? I could never take care of a child right now, but that is not the only option avaliable to me if I got pregnant.

Still say that you're actually dreaming if you think people are ever going to stick to this. Sometimes I do wonder what kind of world some people grew up in, I mean I know I've lived a fairly sheltered life compared to some, but really?

I personally don't believe that an abortion is the answer. That's like saying, It's okay, I'm fifteen and I can't take care of a child. If I get pregnant I'll just kill it off and everything will be okay. I think It's better to be fully equip to handle a child instead of the conclusion of getting an abortion. Abortion is not the answer.

I'm not expecting people to stick to it. I just see the world a better place if these rules were in place, or maybe crossed someones mind. I know there are a few people on TH that have confronted me about having the same belief. 2 I'm sure of.

[Algernon]

Originally Posted by RainOnMe

I agree totally with everything said here.

Without being prejudice, you look a little young from your photo. It's great that a male would agree with the things being said. Even at a young age that you appear to be.

[ThrashAttack]

Im 18 now and ill be 19 in Augest, im not really botherd about when i have sex. Hell, i wouldent care if it was during a one night stand and she got pregnent, i wouldent feel any love for the child becouse it wouldent be with a gf id love.

[TheNumber42]

Originally Posted by soulkiller7

Im 18 now and ill be 19 in Augest, im not really botherd about when i have sex. Hell, i wouldent care if it was during a one night stand and she got pregnent, i wouldent feel any love for the child becouse it wouldent be with a gf id love.

The fact that it could be your son or daughter wouldn't change anything? Just because you wouldn't love their mother, you'd have no love for them? What if she decided to keep them, you wouldn't take responsibility for your actions or love your own children?

No offense at all meant by this, but it doesn't really sound like you're mature enough to be having sex.

[ThrashAttack]

The fact that it could be your son or daughter wouldn't change anything? Just because you wouldn't love their mother, you'd have no love for them? What if she decided to keep them, you wouldn't take responsibility for your actions or love your own children?

Most of the time after people have one night stands, they wont see each other after the event (im not saying always) normaly these things happen at parties or other situations. I wouldent even have her phone number, home adress or anything like that.

[Dr. Gregory House]

Originally Posted by Algernon

I personally don't believe that an abortion is the answer. That's like saying, It's okay, I'm fifteen and I can't take care of a child. If I get pregnant I'll just kill it off and everything will be okay. I think It's better to be fully equip to handle a child instead of the conclusion of getting an abortion. Abortion is not the answer.

I'm not expecting people to stick to it. I just see the world a better place if these rules were in place, or maybe crossed someones mind. I know there are a few people on TH that have confronted me about having the same belief. 2 I'm sure of.

I agree with you. Abortion shouldn't be a form of birth control. "If I get pregnant, I'll just have an abortion." It's taken waaaaay too lightly, and people don't realize what an emotional and physical toll it can have on you. An abortion is -not- an easy decision to make, and it shouldn't be. It's killing a possible human being. Abortions should be a last resort if there are complications that put the mother or child at risk during the pregnancy. Abortions should not be the answer to a mistake because protection didn't work.
If you're responsible enough to have a sexual relationship, you should be responsible enough to know and be able to handle the possible consequences (keep in mind, consequences are not always a negative thing).

[ThrashAttack]

Ill probabley be a bad father, im 18 at the moment and im a living grungy life, i act like im 12 and i probabley wont be responsible for anouther few years

[her_beautiful_mistake]

Originally Posted by ~Emily~

I agree with you. Abortion shouldn't be a form of birth control. "If I get pregnant, I'll just have an abortion." It's taken waaaaay too lightly, and people don't realize what an emotional and physical toll it can have on you. An abortion is -not- an easy decision to make, and it shouldn't be. It's killing a possible human being. Abortions should be a last resort if there are complications that put the mother or child at risk during the pregnancy. Abortions should not be the answer to a mistake because protection didn't work.
If you're responsible enough to have a sexual relationship, you should be responsible enough to know and be able to handle the possible consequences (keep in mind, consequences are not always a negative thing).

I never said that was my attitude

However to say "you should not have sex until you are able to deal with a baby" is completely ridiculous. This would me, for me, I don't have sex until I am 28! If you are safe and careful (condoms do NOT fall under this category, too great of a % error) then you should not get pregnant, let's be honest hear most unwanted pregnancies occur when no contraception is used or it is used incorrectly. All I'm saying is that having a baby is not the only option if pregnany does happen. An attitude that "its okay, I can have unsafe sex with whoever I want because I can just get an abortion" is NOT okay. But an attitude of "I have sex now, when I don't want a baby, very safetly and the chance of me getting pregnant is very very VERY slim. However if I do get pregnant, there are other options avaliable to me than having and keeping this baby" is just sensible and, well, true..

[AcidRayne*OG*]

Well, I lost my virginity, at the embarrassingly young age of twelve. I was way too young, and not ready, I wish I would have waited. I wish I would have waited until about now, sixteen. I'm mature enough to handle a break up with someone I'm having sex with. When my and my first boyfriend broke up, the one I'd lost my virginity to, it wrecked me. My world fell apart. Now, if I break up with someone, it's sad, I don't like it, but I can eat, sleep, breathe, etc. anyway. I can't stand abortion, although I used to condone it before I gained perspective and insight on the topic. I watched one of those videos online of an abortion, and that was it for me. I lose respect for people that have had them to be honest, even if I try not to. I'm pregnant now, and it's not something that was planned, but I'm keeping it. I don't want to be a mother during my senior year of high school, but I f'd up, and I accept my fate. Anyways, just an opinion, a quite strong one maybe, but that's how I am.

[dazzle]

The day they hit puberty. As long as they use a condom why not?

Originally Posted by AcidRayne*OG*

Well, I lost my virginity, at the embarrassingly young age of twelve. I was way too young, and not ready, I wish I would have waited. I wish I would have waited until about now, sixteen. I'm mature enough to handle a break up with someone I'm having sex with. When my and my first boyfriend broke up, the one I'd lost my virginity to, it wrecked me. My world fell apart. Now, if I break up with someone, it's sad, I don't like it, but I can eat, sleep, breathe, etc. anyway. I can't stand abortion, although I used to condone it before I gained perspective and insight on the topic. I watched one of those videos online of an abortion, and that was it for me. I lose respect for people that have had them to be honest, even if I try not to. I'm pregnant now, and it's not something that was planned, but I'm keeping it. I don't want to be a mother during my senior year of high school, but I f'd up, and I accept my fate. Anyways, just an opinion, a quite strong one maybe, but that's how I am.

Why don't you give the child up for adoption?

[Shattered Angel]

I really figure that as close to marriage as possible, or even afterwards would be best. It shows that commitment of being ready to love each other forever. :P If I had to put a limit, it would be past 20. Is it wierd that I'm saying that at 16???

[Alicia.C]

I think when you're ready to support and raise a baby, thats the perfect age for sex simply because accidents happen, condoms break, birth control fails. Theres always a chance!

[Cosmo]

As I said before, IMO the right age is around 18-20. Any younger than that, and I don't believe you can deal with the repercussions, or possible repercussions, of sex.

[Readein]

I love these threads. I feel as long as you know about the dangers of sex and how to avoid them correctly then you are ready for sex. So I'd say 14 at the youngest. No one is truly ready for their first time. Waiting for the right one is complete and utter bullshit. No one can really know if anyone is the right one. I have been in many relationships where I thought she was the one but it turned out not to be. Reality check this is no "one" person for anyone.

[Xujhan]

Originally Posted by Algernon

Without being prejudice, you look a little young from your photo. It's great that a male would agree with the things being said. Even at a young age that you appear to be.

I've said this before Holly, but this attitude can be really hurtful to some guys. Many guys do value love over sex, and most of those who would rather sex at this point in their lives are still decent people who wouldn't string along someone who was looking for love. This attitude that the average guy is only out to get laid and damn the consequences really, seriously, needs to stop. And I'm not just talking about you here, although it's twice now I've seen you talk in that way. The stereotype is saturated through our entire culture, and as a guy who values both love and sex, trying to fight against this idea has caused me no end of frustration, shame, and guilt. And I know that here I'm speaking not just for myself, but for a lot of guys who feel the same way but don't feel like they can say anything without disgracing themselves. It's hurtful, it's wrong, and it needs to stop.