Ouch.

[thehardestthingintheworld]

Okay so I posted a thread a little while ago saying I was planning on losing it with a guy I really liked. Well .... ahem .... I got close?
I realized it was goign to hurt and didn't really care, I had a few drinks was feeling good and we fooled around for a bit.
He fingered me and it hurt. I couldn't handle it it was just OUCH. I dont know why! I was not feeling turned on at all and I cant figure out why. I am mentally prepared to have sex, as well as emotionally. I WANTED to just do it. I dont get it.
He even went down on me and I just didn't LIKE it. wtf is wrong with me?
Needless to say i wasnt wet .... at all. and i just couldn't handle him putting it in there. Like I just couldn't, i would've cried from the pain
I realize I probably need lube.
but i want it to be a decent first time ... i need to be wet. and i dont understand why im not getting wet!! its so frustrating.
and on top of that he had a hard time finding where to put it ... i guess i was so tense or something. i was so embarassed honestly looking back, its just .. embarassing and i feel horrible about it.

[falling_x]

Perfectly normal ...

If you've spent ages before it thinking about it and getting yourself "wound up" about it then when the time comes, part of you is gonna be like "I don't want to do this" or just gets so worried and tense about it that its not going to happen.

Yes, lube does help if you have any doubts ... it will not only help him go in ... but will also help lessen the pain. I would at this point say that if you decide to try again, and it hurts as much again, go to the doctor's ... just to be on the safe side ... but use the lube!!

First times never work out the way you want them to ... but the pain is quite possibly just the hymen breaking ... as for the oral and you not liking it ... it's normal ... not everyone does like it... I don't like it all the time ... and i like it more with some guys than with others ...

I learnt that you can't really plan your first time ... it just kindda happens ...

Hope this helps a little
falling

[SummerTiger]

Hey!

First thing first: don't worry about what happened. I am also planning on having sex with my bf for the first time soon. What we've been doing is exploring each other's bodies and getting ready for actual penetration. At first, my bf could barely get a finger in, and we had to stop because it hurt. But with time the pain went away and I 'opened up' more, if you get what I'm saying. We're planning on getting some lube just to make things more slippery, but otherwise we're good.

Just remember to ALWAYS tell him when it hurts. It's not your fault that you can't get wet. You may well be attracted to the guy, but your pain might cancel out that attraction. And if he loves you and respects you, he'll stop or go slower.

Sex takes some preparation. It doesn't happen effortlessly and might not be blissful at all your first time. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Now about your bf getting down on you, line did the same, and I didn't feel anything. Same thing with me giving him a bj -- he didn't like it much. One word: experience. Give it more time. Maybe you weren't in the mood, maybe he wasn't doing it right. There's so many factors that come into play when you're giving and receiving sexual pleasure that many things could go wrong without any of it being your fault. Just take a deep breath and try again. Sex isn't about being pressured to do something, it's about enjoying yourself.

Remember: communication is the key.

Chin up!

[iDream]

This is a bit late, but it was probably the drinks. Alcohol has a way of inhibiting arousal in both guys and girls, often times making you unable to get "wet." Next time, try it a bit more sober with lots of foreplay to "preheat" the oven. ;]

[Jaguar]

All good advice, especially about getting to know each other's bodies. I think you're trying to hurry into it. Try showering together and giving each other massages, then ease into cuddling and sexual stuff.

Have some lube around like astroglide, it's fantastic. Have him carefully explore you and try giving him a hj with it. Try putting your hand on his and guide him into giving you pleasure. When the time comes, use LOTS of lube and take it very very slowly. If it hurts slow down or stop and try again later or another time.

Lots of people have unpleasant experiences the first time doing anything sexual, so you're not unusual. There's nothing wrong with you. Take it slow and don't give up.