Would you?

[newurule]

Okay, i'll try and keep this simple.
I'm a virgin, but I am definitely ready to lose my virginity. I have been saving it for the right person.
Very soon, I will have the opportunity to lose my virginity to someone I care about. I am sure of this because the girl in question has pretty much told me that she wants to have sex with me, if I am ready.
However, we don't have a future. We are living in different countries and neither of us is prepared to move to be with one another, it's too complicated.
I am pretty sure I am going to have sex with her, because I am ready and I care about her enough to, but what I am curious about is how many of you would do the same in my situation? Would you lose your virginity to someone who you care about, but know for sure you won't have a future with them?

[Sidhe.]

Honestly, having never been in such a situation, I can't say with any certainty... but I think that if I were to really care for somebody that much, I would consider doing what you're going to do.

[TheLittleNinja]

I personally could never have sex with a 'close friend' I would be too worried about losing that friendship. I'd keep my virginity for someone I love and spend time with. That's just me though - I have to have very trusting relationships.

[her_beautiful_mistake]

If I were in your position I don't think I would, no. It would be different if you weren't a virgin.

[Justin Bieber]

Depends on how much you really value your virginity I suppose. If you are okay with having sex with someone you see no future in, then that's perfectly fine. If you would rather wait for someone that you could have something more with, then that's fine too. Both are totally fine/normal/okay =]

Personally, I would not have sex if I were in this situation.

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Probably not. I know that the person I have sex with for the first time has to be special and someone I really really trust and love. However, there also has to be a sense that this is a relationship. This is the next step I want to take in the relationship. If I were to have sex with someone I knew I did not have a chance of staying with I would feel like I was just giving it away.

But, I different strokes for different folks.

[BabyPeaPod]

No. Although you care for her would you really want to ruin a friendship? The fact you have to post on here to ask other poeples opinions just shows that you are questioning it yourself. Also because you live so far away I wouldn't get involved with someone if you can't see them. It can feel like a loss if you are intiment with somoene then you can't see them as you please. I know you feel ready but don't get yourself confused with this lady from feeling ready or just having sex with her because you have a opportunity to with someone you do care for. Sex is a huge thing and I would wait untill you find the right person meaning your girlfriend. Someone you can honestly share yourself with.

[iDream]

Everyone is saying no, but I don't think it's that much of a horrible thing. I lost my virginity to my best friend, and I don't regret it at all. It probably helped that the two of us actually had feelings for each other at the time. We're still really good friends even though we're not together, but maybe we're just lucky?

So many people say that they regret the person they first had sex with and it's usually because they thought they were in love with the person then they turned around and broke their heart somehow. My logic was that I'd rather lose it to someone I trusted and cared for me rather than someone who could so easily leave my life.

After everything, the decision lies on you. Do you think you'll end up regretting your decision to lose your virginity to her if/when you two go separate ways?

[TheNumber42]

Originally Posted by ~Jenna~

Probably not. I know that the person I have sex with for the first time has to be special and someone I really really trust and love. However, there also has to be a sense that this is a relationship. This is the next step I want to take in the relationship. If I were to have sex with someone I knew I did not have a chance of staying with I would feel like I was just giving it away.

But, I different strokes for different folks.

I would tend to agree with this.

[don'tstopbelievin]

Originally Posted by iDream

Everyone is saying no, but I don't think it's that much of a horrible thing. I lost my virginity to my best friend, and I don't regret it at all. It probably helped that the two of us actually had feelings for each other at the time. We're still really good friends even though we're not together, but maybe we're just lucky?

So many people say that they regret the person they first had sex with and it's usually because they thought they were in love with the person then they turned around and broke their heart somehow. My logic was that I'd rather lose it to someone I trusted and cared for me rather than someone who could so easily leave my life.

After everything, the decision lies on you. Do you think you'll end up regretting your decision to lose your virginity to her if/when you two go separate ways?

This is the post I most agree with.
I knew I didn't have a future with the guy I lost my virginity too. But he cared about me, I cared about him. We were best friends. We were in a relationship at the time but I just knew it had an expiration date. I still wanted to share my first time with him. I think the person you should have your first time with should be someone you trust completely, someone you know will always care for you and vice versa, even if you don't think you''ll always be together.

[newurule]

In reply to BabyPeaPod, just to clarify I'm not posting on here asking whether or not I should do it, I am posting simply because I am curious as to whether other people would do the same thing.

I actually really doubt it would ruin our friendship. If I think about the situation, I am almost certain that we won't stop being friends because of us having sex. And anyway, we won't be seeing each other much at all after about a month. We will be in different countries, and we will only be talking online.
And I don't think I'll regret it, no.

[Ellie]

I wouldn't have sex with anyone for the sole reason of losing my virginity. You started your post saying that you 'desperately need to lose your virginity' in which case I would think twice about having sex with her.

[I-Love-him]

i personally wouldn't.
When i have sex with someone, for example when i had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, i felt so close to him and i could never have sex with someone if i knew i'd never be able to be with them in a relationship because to me sex is more than just sex. but if you wanna go for it then go ahead. just be safe and sensible.

[silentmuffin]

It all depends on what sex means to you. It's different for everyone. Some people lose their virginity because they're in love, some do it because they just feel ready and know they can trust the person they're doing it with, some people wait until they're sure they want to spend the rest of their life with that person. There's no "right" or "wrong" reason, so if you feel comfortable losing your virginity to this person, then it's fine. Just make sure you think it over and decide you're doing it for the right reasons for you, not just to get it over with or something.

[newurule]

Originally Posted by Ellie

I wouldn't have sex with anyone for the sole reason of losing my virginity. You started your post saying that you 'desperately need to lose your virginity' in which case I would think twice about having sex with her.

I didn't say that at all. I said I was 'definitely ready to lose my virginity.' There is a very large difference between that and needing to lose it. I don't 'need' to lose it at all, it's not like I am desperate to have sex. The opportunity has come up and I am ready to lose it, that's all I was saying.

Anyways thanks everyone for your replies