Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Why are People so Stupid?

[Readein]

I don't see why virginity is such a big deal. Truthfully it is just a word with a definition and nothing else. People add to much emotional value to meaningless things. I know sex is a big deal but how is having sex for the first time and any time thereafter any different? Then again I am a virgin so what the fuck do I know. I'm just saying if I lost my virginity to someone then they dumped me the next day I would feel just the same as if we has sex and I wasn't a virgin. I'm not saying fuck your way through life but stop taking stupid shit so seriously.

[jelli1224]

Well...for some people, (Including me) it has to do with religion. For some if they have sex it goes against what they are taught with there religion. That's just me.....

[Lu82]

That is your opinion and i respect it , but just because a person values or takes virginity to seriously doesnt make that person stupid.
everybody thinks differently.

[ShimmeringFaerie]

You may think that sex and virginity are meaningless things, but that doesn't mean that everyone thinks that way or that they're stupid for taking them seriously. And just because someone takes their virginity seriously doesn't mean that they don't feel the same way about every subsequent time. Your first time is important because it's an entirely new experience and you don't know who to expect. Just like your first day of school or your first kiss or your first child are important experiences. It is fine for you to not view your virginity as something important, but that doesn't give you the right to insult everyone who does and call them stupid.

[udontno]

I'm along the same line of thinking as you are. I didn't place a lot of value on my virginity. I lost it to a boy that I'm not and have never been in a relationship with. We weren't in love. However, it was romantic. I wore sexy lingerie and we did it in my bed.

That being said, some people chose to wait. The guy I'm talking to now wants to wait until he's older, so he says sometimes. Other times... all he wants is me. Out of respect for him, I'm not going to have sex with him. I feel that he would regret it because of the value he places on his virginity. To each his own, if he didn't place such value on it I wouldn't think twice.

[Jocelyn.]

I didn't personally think losing my virginity was a big deal, and it wasn't for me.

But you have to respect others opinions and not call them stupid for wanting to wait. Certain hormones are released at the highest dose when a person has sex for the first time. Most people feel an extreme attachment to that person. For others its religious/personal beliefs that they don't want to have sex with someone not important to them. Having sex with even one random person you don't know or trust could result in unwanted pregnancy or STDs. I think that alone is a damn good reason to wait.

[Rhop101]

I don't see how you can say such things about sexual experiences when you've never had sex so you can't say whether it would be the same or different for yourself. You don't really know what your doing the first time because it's your first and usually once I do something it's easier the next time, so that means in a way it is different. I feel like many have said you may look back on it someday as it being different, but it's your opinion now so I can't complain.

[The Morrigan]

Are you telling me you wouldn't feel the least bit ashamed that a boy just used you for your virginity and then ran off looking for someone else? I know I'd feel upset, ashamed, dirty. I'd feel as though I was just an object and not a person.

I'm a virgin too and to me I think it's a big deal. I'm not a religious person but I want my first few times to mean something to me and the other person. Fair enough sex might not always have to mean something, in future I might do it just for the fun but I definitely want my first time to be special.

[C0co]

When I was a virgin, I actually thought it wouldn't be a big deal if I lost it. But when that time came along where I did lose it, I regretted it big time. It was more along the lines with whom I lost it to more than anything because he was only out for one thing.

[her_beautiful_mistake]

I don't think virginity is a big of a deal as everyone likes to make out, people who are like "I want it to be an act of loving devotion between me and my husband" are just going to be dissapointed, are slightly delusional and will end up having lame sex, to be honest. But sex can have massive emotional impacts on people, me included, and a lot of people would have emotional concequences of just sleeping with anyone [note, having sex with anyone. Not losing their virginity to anyone].

[PunkRoxS9]

Originally Posted by her_beautiful_mistake

I don't think virginity is a big of a deal as everyone likes to make out, people who are like "I want it to be an act of loving devotion between me and my husband" are just going to be dissapointed, are slightly delusional and will end up having lame sex, to be honest.

You know I think that's a very ignorant and mean thing to say. I decided I want to wait til I'm married because I want the act of giving my virginity away to be special and perfect. Sex is only as good as you make it. Virginity and innocence is not something you can ever take back x

[Mehhhhhh]

Well.. That's your opinion.. Not people being stupid. I want to wait for my first time as I do not want to spoil it and get it wrong and feel that sex is weird and embarrasing.. I want to wait until I am sure the person I am with will respect that it is my first time and guide me through it.. I don't take it especially seriously, but it is literally and figuratively the breaking of something which will never grow back, I wouldn't want to get it wrong.

[CANDLEJA-]

I agree with PunkRoxS9, that was rather ignorant. I realize it was only your opinion, but if someone wants to save themselves til marriage then let them. That doesn't make them delusional just because they choose not to conform to what society wants them to, it makes them their own person. How do you know for sure it would be lame sex? No sex is lame. And they can grow together and learn from each other, and have fun that way.
I personally didn't wait til marriage, but I definatly did say no the first couple times I was asked for it because I wasn't ready. If you aren't ready for sex and you do it anyways, you can really regret it afterward and it can really destroy a person's self esteem. If I had a child I know I would want them to wait til they knew they were ready.

[hopefaithlove]

For a lot of people, sex and losing their virginity comes with a lot of emotional attachments.

[Algernon]

I'm wondering why you say this. I wonder what someone did to you.

Virginity isn't about religion. For girls It's more. We're the one that are usually dominated over. We have a certain innocent before we get into sex. We are sensitive, we use our bodies for love. Sorry if you don't understand that. I feel sorry for the next partner you have for all that you've said.

And just letting you know. There is a part of me that I will NEVER get back. I regret losing myself to a certain guy. He was supposed to marry me. He cheated on me. Now that part of me is carried with him as he sleeps with other girls. It's been years, and It still hurts.

[Xujhan]

Originally Posted by Algernon

I'm wondering why you say this. I wonder what someone did to you.

Virginity isn't about religion. For girls It's more. We're the one that are usually dominated over. We have a certain innocent before we get into sex. We are sensitive, we use our bodies for love. Sorry if you don't understand that. I feel sorry for the next partner you have for all that you've said.

You're speaking for some people there, Holly, but I think it's rather presumptuous to assume that all women are like you. I've met plenty who aren't, and as I don't really know all that many people, I think it stands to reason that there are plenty more.

Also the bolded statement sort of underhandedly implies that guys don't, and such sexual stereotypes about guys can be really, really hurtful. I struggle a lot with the "women want love, guys want sex" stereotype, and I think TeenHelp should be one place where guys should be able to get away from that idea and be treated fairly.

Readein: I agree with you in principle, but I don't think it does anyone good to call stupid people who think differently. It is a free country, after all.

[Cosmo]

I think it's because losing your virginity is something you can't get back, and it's a special one-time-only thing. People want to share that experience with someone they truly love.

[Edited]You don't seem to realise that people have different opinions from yours.

[Algernon]

Originally Posted by Xujhan

You're speaking for some people there, Holly, but I think it's rather presumptuous to assume that all women are like you. I've met plenty who aren't, and as I don't really know all that many people, I think it stands to reason that there are plenty more.

Also the bolded statement sort of underhandedly implies that guys don't, and such sexual stereotypes about guys can be really, really hurtful. I struggle a lot with the "women want love, guys want sex" stereotype, and I think TeenHelp should be one place where guys should be able to get away from that idea and be treated fairly.

Readein: I agree with you in principle, but I don't think it does anyone good to call stupid people who think differently. It is a free country, after all.

I agree. I think I'm just trying to sum up all my thoughts on his statement but I crammed them all into one confusing paragraph. I'm trying to not get into trouble.

[Lorelei]

The first time for anything is special...your first steps, your first words, the first time you drive a car, etc., etc. Except with sex, there's an arguably greater amount of vulnerability there, so it's a little different. For me, it's not the act itself that has any significance. It's the fact that it's a first, and it's a first you have to share with someone else.

[Algernon]

Originally Posted by RainOnMe

I think it's because losing your virginity is something you can't get back, and it's a special one-time-only thing. People want to share that experience with someone they truly love.

[Edited]You don't seem to realise that people have different opinions from yours.

I'm glad to know a guy thinks the same thing as I do.

[Work_In_Progress]

What was stupid of me, was to have lost my virginity in the most sleasiest place of all, in the most casual of fashion, and dragged a dear friend along with me in the process which ended up hurting her in the long run and myself.

[Edited]

[Pelios]

Originally Posted by Readein

I don't see why virginity is such a big deal. Truthfully it is just a word with a definition and nothing else. People add to much emotional value to meaningless things. I know sex is a big deal but how is having sex for the first time and any time thereafter any different? Then again I am a virgin so what the fuck do I know. I'm just saying if I lost my virginity to someone then they dumped me the next day I would feel just the same as if we has sex and I wasn't a virgin. I'm not saying fuck your way through life but stop taking stupid shit so seriously.

I seriously don't understand why you think people are stupid for saving themselves. If at all I can say you are stupid for calling out virgin people when you are a virgin. People tend to place some short of emotion to their first anything, I can't imagine you having your first kiss without feeling some short of emotion, or when you first drove your car, unless you have some short of emotional problem people tend to have an emotional response to their "first's".
I'll pray for you.

[Chaos Theory]

So you think people are stupid because they think virginity is a big deal.

You are entitled to your opinion, good for you. But I think virginity is important because I feel it is a special thing you offer to your partner, like a dedication. Just because you think virginity isn't important doesn't give you any right to bash anyone.

I intend to go on more, but I am not going to lower myself to bashing your opinion.

[her_beautiful_mistake]

Originally Posted by PunkRoxS9

You know I think that's a very ignorant and mean thing to say. I decided I want to wait til I'm married because I want the act of giving my virginity away to be special and perfect. Sex is only as good as you make it. Virginity and innocence is not something you can ever take back x

Personally I think you are the ignorant one, but the world would be very boring if we all had the same opinion, so good for you.

I will just say this though; please do not assume just because I was not married when I lost my virginity that it was not special. I think expecting it to be "perfect" puts too much pressure on it, especially the first time when it will hurt (a lot, in my case). But I lost my virginity to someone I was very much in love with. It was incredibly special and it was right for me. I am so glad I lost my virginity to the person I did and when I did. Do not assume that just because a girl was not married when she lost her virginity this means she regrets it and that it was a horrible experience because it's just not the case.

[Maloo]

Kinda frustrating that the OP has yet to return.. But I think virginity is highly an individual thing. I think it's incredibly important, whereas my boyfriend sees it differently. I severely regret when I lost it and who I lost it to, and there's nothing I can do about it.

[xxpaigiexx]

Virginity means different things to different people. Just because someone has a different opinion to you does not make their opinion stupid.
It's their virginity and they should do with it as they please with it.
If people can happily give their virginity away and have no problem with that it's not my business, nor is it if someone decides to wait until marriage to loose it.

[Rainbow Dash]

Sex means different things to different people really. I know I couldn't have sex with someone I wasn't in a relationship with, it would just make me feel a bit sick and gross :| I kind of see my "first time" as any other time I'd have sex though.

[Double X]

Meh, we only put meaning on it because of silly societal pressures. When we put so much pressure on losing it, the actual act doesn't live up to expectations.

[PunkRoxS9]

Originally Posted by her_beautiful_mistake

Personally I think you are the ignorant one, but the world would be very boring if we all had the same opinion, so good for you.

I will just say this though; please do not assume just because I was not married when I lost my virginity that it was not special. I think expecting it to be "perfect" puts too much pressure on it, especially the first time when it will hurt (a lot, in my case). But I lost my virginity to someone I was very much in love with. It was incredibly special and it was right for me. I am so glad I lost my virginity to the person I did and when I did. Do not assume that just because a girl was not married when she lost her virginity this means she regrets it and that it was a horrible experience because it's just not the case.

I never said that if you have sex unmarried it will not be special. Of course it will be if you're with someone you care about, and you are sharing this because you love each other. I personally know a lot of people who go out and have sex just for fun and it means nothing also. I have no problem with people having sex unmarried or anything. I am simply saying that your virginity is something special that you can never take back. I think it is quite an immature and ignorant view to have if you think your first time is no big deal. I was not bashing anybody or saying that it cannot be special unmarried.

[Alicia.C]

In my personal opinion, some girls get very attached to the person who takes their virginity, I know because I was one of them even though I was date raped, it can make it very meaningful to that girl. Theres a big difference to guys and girls and theirs views on it. My husband was the type of guy who had to "pop the cherry." Thats what he strived for. I dont understand it at all, he said its just because they're so tight. Whatever. I dont know. Then there are the people who believe that the virginity should go only to the person they plan to spend their life with. A very nice way to think of things with so little people doing it that way. I dont know what it is that makes virginity a special thing for a guy. But for a girl, its usually different.

[Paddy]

Many factors play a part.

I.e - Religion, values.

and personal experience, i messed up my first few times, so loosing my virginity because a big part and started becoming a big part of my depression.

[TI@P]

Originally Posted by Readein

I don't see why virginity is such a big deal. Truthfully it is just a word with a definition and nothing else. People add to much emotional value to meaningless things. I know sex is a big deal but how is having sex for the first time and any time thereafter any different? Then again I am a virgin so what the fuck do I know. I'm just saying if I lost my virginity to someone then they dumped me the next day I would feel just the same as if we has sex and I wasn't a virgin. I'm not saying fuck your way through life but stop taking stupid shit so seriously.

Virginity is a big deal because... it's not a word, it is a state of the individual.

If you had paid a little more attention to your sensations and feelings you would know how strong first experiences are and how vivid they remain. To be fucked and dumped.... imagine remembering so well your first experience, then inevitably drifting to the memory of breakup (read "being dumped"). That wouldn't be too pleasant.

If you really don't care about virginity, why have you not lost it yet ?

[Jill.]

For me, virginity was not something that was important to me. I don't value it, and I don't regret loosing it the way that I did. That being said, I don't look down upon those who decide to "save themselves" that's their personal choice. But I never did understand the whole importance around virginity. It never phased me.

[xxxAJxxx]

Originally Posted by RainOnMe

I think it's because losing your virginity is something you can't get back, and it's a special one-time-only thing. People want to share that experience with someone they truly love.

Originally Posted by RainOnMe

[Edited] You don't seem to realise that people have different opinions from yours.

Yoo. Not cool with the name calling. Im going to have to agree with the original poster.

[ThrashAttack]

I dont really care when i loose my Viriginity to be honest, one night stand, relationship with my next gf . I wouldent really care to be honest. Its my Body and i dont want anyone flameing me becouse of this.

will

[Larrinda]

I dont think you should be calling people stupid for feeling different.
Everyone is different.
I know for me the first time I have sex will be important not only because of religion but because I am just an emotional person,.

Were humans not robots.

It does make people mad because its a really sore subject....

[xxpaigiexx]

Originally Posted by ThrashAttack

I dont really care when i loose my Viriginity to be honest, one night stand, relationship with my next gf . I wouldent really care to be honest. Its my Body and i dont want anyone flameing me becouse of this.

will

There's nothing wrong with this Will, it's your opinion and as long as you'd be happy loosing your virginity with whoever you end up loosing it with then there is nothing wrong with that.
I think as long as both parties are happy then it's not a big deal and as long as the person/people loosing their virginity know that they can't get it back then there is no problem.

[Through-Glass]

Hey,

Virginity has a different meaning for everyone. It may just be a word to you, but for many, it symbolizes the transition into adulthood. This is a huge step for those who feel this way. Try to respect that virginity does have value to some. However, if it does not mean the same things to you, that is perfectly okay.

Take care.

[TheNumber42]

I respect that you have your own opinion, though I don't understand how you can really feel so confident in your opinion as a virgin. Sex is a very emotional thing, no matter how much you try to treat it as just a meaningless, physical act. The hormones and other chemicals released will stimulate your emotions and make it a very intense experience. Now I'm not saying that it can't be treated as a purely physical action, many people feel that way, but I am saying that it will have some effect on you.

As far as virginity, I see it as much more than a word. For me, it is a chance for two people to share a new experience together, to learn things about themselves and each other that no one else knows. It is a chance to express their love for each other in a deep, intimate way. To me, it isn't just a physical action, but an emotional one. At least for the first time, the physical actions associated with it are just a tiny part of the entire equation.

But as I said, it's your opinion. I just hope that you don't end up getting hurt because of it.

[I-Love-him]

Originally Posted by Readein

I don't see why virginity is such a big deal. Truthfully it is just a word with a definition and nothing else. People add to much emotional value to meaningless things. I know sex is a big deal but how is having sex for the first time and any time thereafter any different? Then again I am a virgin so what the fuck do I know. I'm just saying if I lost my virginity to someone then they dumped me the next day I would feel just the same as if we has sex and I wasn't a virgin. I'm not saying fuck your way through life but stop taking stupid shit so seriously.

i find this post quite offensive to be fair. just because someone doesn't want to loose there virginity at a certain time does not make them stupid! i didn't want to loose it for quite a while until i was ready. People think different things are important, just because someone thinks saving there virginity is important does not make them stupid!