Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Why are People so Stupid?

[ShimmeringFaerie]

Originally Posted by Readein

Wow this thread blew up fast. Sorry the title does seem a bit insulting but I meant that putting value to virginity is stupid and not the individual people who do it. I'll admit I was in a bad mood but I still stand behind what I said.

But why do you think that's stupid? To me, that's like saying that valuing your heritage is stupid. Or love or religion or life. All of those things are "words with definitions". Like virginity, they aren't quite physical concepts, they are more symbolic. But many people value those things and it certainly isn't stupid to have an emotional connection to something like that.

You seem to have developed an incredibly negative view of virginity and are now just taking it out on everyone else. I think it was more the insensitivity of your original post rather than other people's sensitivity that is the issue. I don't know what you value in life, but I'm sure if someone had said that what you valued was stupid, you would be upset/annoyed too. Saying that virginity is stupid is no less insulting than saying the people who value virginity are stupid.

And btw, your assumption about what happens when guys lose their virginity isn't necessarily true; it certainly wasn't for my boyfriend anyway.

[Cosmo]

Originally Posted by Readein

Wow this thread blew up fast. Sorry the title does seem a bit insulting but I meant that putting value to virginity is stupid and not the individual people who do it. I'll admit I was in a bad mood but I still stand behind what I said.

Yes, but if someone believes that it is valued, then that makes them stupid according to you. It' not that people are overly sensitive, it's just that you called them stupid, insulted them and their beliefs.

[her_beautiful_mistake]

Originally Posted by RainOnMe

Yes, but if someone believes that it is valued, then that makes them stupid according to you. It' not that people are overly sensitive, it's just that you called them stupid, insulted them and their beliefs.

But his point is that why do you care that he just insult you and your beliefs? He's one guy on an internet forum, someone you will never know, why does his opinion matter to you? To anyone on this forum? If you're that secure in your beliefs why would it bother you? It's not worth being 'offended' about, and this is what I think he means by people getting offended too easily. People having differing views to you shouldn't be 'offensive'. No one should have been 'offended' by this thread.

[TheNumber42]

Originally Posted by her_beautiful_mistake

But his point is that why do you care that he just insult you and your beliefs? He's one guy on an internet forum, someone you will never know, why does his opinion matter to you? To anyone on this forum? If you're that secure in your beliefs why would it bother you? It's not worth being 'offended' about, and this is what I think he means by people getting offended too easily. People having differing views to you shouldn't be 'offensive'. No one should have been 'offended' by this thread.

I can't say this thread 'offended' me, but I do think that you are a bit wrong.

To me, a differing view would be "I don't think virginity has any meaning and I don't care how I lose mine."

Instead, the OP said "I don't see why virginity is such a big deal. Truthfully it is just a word with a definition and nothing else. People add to much emotional value to meaningless things ... I'm not saying fuck your way through life but stop taking stupid shit so seriously."

To me, both of those are saying the same thing, the difference is that the OP basically commanded everyone to follow his point of view ("stop taking stupid shit so seriously"). He didn't state his opinion in a clear way that left the door open for discussion, he flamed anyone who values virginity and told them to stop because his views are better. Seems like being offended would be perfectly normal.

[her_beautiful_mistake]

Originally Posted by TheNumber42

I can't say this thread 'offended' me, but I do think that you are a bit wrong.

To me, a differing view would be "I don't think virginity has any meaning and I don't care how I lose mine."

Instead, the OP said "I don't see why virginity is such a big deal. Truthfully it is just a word with a definition and nothing else. People add to much emotional value to meaningless things ... I'm not saying fuck your way through life but stop taking stupid shit so seriously."

To me, both of those are saying the same thing, the difference is that the OP basically commanded everyone to follow his point of view ("stop taking stupid shit so seriously"). He didn't state his opinion in a clear way that left the door open for discussion, he flamed anyone who values virginity and told them to stop because his views are better. Seems like being offended would be perfectly normal.

Completely disagree... Sure that's how it read, but is the opinion of a 17(?) year old guy, written on an internet forum, going to evoke any kind of emotional response at all? Seriously, it shouldn't. If you're offended by that, well, good luck with life is all I can say!

[Tynan]

wasnt he also in a bad mood when he wrote it in the op. 1 when your in a bad mood nothing comes out in the right way. also when he came back he did say he wasnt calling everyone stupid he was saying attaching meaning to virginity is stupid. i do agree with him. i lost my virginity. but i never put value on it because in doing that youll put to much expectations on it. plus the first time having sex usually doesnt feel the greatest bit afterwards it feels better.

Also Rachel brought up a good point. its one person on the internet they cant really do much. ive learned you cant take what a lot of people say to heart on the internet mainly because its the internet. if you are secure with your beliefs you shouldnt take to heart what one person says.

Plus a lot of you guys where bashing him for his opinion too. two wrongs dont make a right. i think everyone should just respect his opinion and act in a respectful manner even if you dont think he acted in that way.

ok bring on the flame war against me. lol.

[Tynan]

Originally Posted by her_beautiful_mistake

Completely disagree... Sure that's how it read, but is the opinion of a 17(?) year old guy, written on an internet forum, going to evoke any kind of emotional response at all? Seriously, it shouldn't. If you're offended by that, well, good luck with life is all I can say!

i completely agree with that dear.

[TheLittleNinja]

I think that everyone is getting a bit too heated over this topic, the nice, caring, friendly people that I thought I knew on TH are ripping each other to shreads.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, some people want to 'love' the person they first have sex with - and some don't really care. This is fine.

What's not fine, is when we start judging people because of their views. A few posts back some said that 'Women are often dominated' during sex - this made me think about rape. What if you lose your virginity by being raped - what if that emotionally effects you? Or shouldn't it matter?

I'm not taking any sides here, but I personally think that you all need to take a breathe and value each others opinions as much as you would normally value each other. Even the people who regret having sex aren't stupid - they didn't know how they would feel about it. Some people can't help feeling emotional over something like sex, but that doesn't mean that the people who don't feel emotion when it comes to sex have the right to say they should feel other wise.

[Tynan]

i totally agree with you Claire. we do need to breathe and calm down

[I-Love-him]

Originally Posted by Readein

I did find out one thing though. A lot of people are overly-sensitive. People get offended way too easily now a days. By the way even though I am a virgin I already know what is going to happen. I will start last a few seconds then the humiliation kicks in.

So what if people are overly sensitive! it just means they care! etleest they aren't going around with no sensitivity at all and insulting people!. mabye people are getting more narrow minded these days and just can't accepth the fact some people do get offended easily and some people value things like virginity a lot more than others do.

Originally Posted by Mr.sexyface

wasnt he also in a bad mood when he wrote it in the op. 1 when your in a bad mood nothing comes out in the right way. also when he came back he did say he wasnt calling everyone stupid he was saying attaching meaning to virginity is stupid. i do agree with him. i lost my virginity. but i never put value on it because in doing that youll put to much expectations on it. plus the first time having sex usually doesnt feel the greatest bit afterwards it feels better.

Also Rachel brought up a good point. its one person on the internet they cant really do much. ive learned you cant take what a lot of people say to heart on the internet mainly because its the internet. if you are secure with your beliefs you shouldnt take to heart what one person says.

Plus a lot of you guys where bashing him for his opinion too. two wrongs dont make a right. i think everyone should just respect his opinion and act in a respectful manner even if you dont think he acted in that way.

ok bring on the flame war against me. lol.

i can deal and totally accept people's opinions. but if someone is calling people stupid because of there choices then in all fairness that is not fair at all! there is no need to insult someone just because of what they believe in and yes he was in a bad mood at the time but he then began to moan about people being over sensitive, to me he needs to get over it and someone needs to close this thread. it's all defiantly getting heated and not being funny but myself and a lot of other people on here probly aren't going to stop arguing on here. Best to just close this i think.

[ThrashAttack]

i totally agree with you Claire. we do need to breathe and calm down

I agree as well

[LucyLouWho]

Just because you think that it doesn't matter doesn't mean that everyone else has to feel the same way.

[ThrashAttack]

Just because you think that it doesn't matter doesn't mean that everyone else has to feel the same way.

Agreed. No person has the right to force there views on someone else

[lost_soul]

Some people really value their virginity, others are obliged through religion to value it. It's everybody's personal choice whether they care about their virginity or not and everybody is entitled to an opinion.

I personally am not too worked up about the virginity deal and losing it really isn't a big deal to me, but I can respect why it is a big deal to others.

[ShimmeringFaerie]

It isn't the fact that he doesn't think virginity is a big deal that is the problem. It is the fact that he said placing a value on it is stupid, especially when he doesn't really have the experience to back up his view. I agree with TheNumber42, if he had said "I don't think virginity is a big deal, but what are your thoughts?" it wouldn't have been offensive at all.

And to all the people who think that others have been over-reacting or that we shouldn't care what one guy says on the internet, can you honestly say that you've never been offended by someone on the internet and posted back? Can you honestly say that it doesn't offend you when someone says "homosexuality is disgusting" or "abortion is murder/not murder"? If it does, then you're just being hypocritical.

[Readein]

I'm extremely sorry to anyone who I offended. I admit what I said was harsh and probably should have been worded different. I'm just extremely depressed and when it gets real bad (like it was when I started this thread) I can be a bit of an asshole. I extend my deepest and most sincere apologies to anyone I have hurt. Best wishes!

[eunoia]

To everyone: please consider that it is inappropriate to attack another member of our community, especially directly, no matter how offended you may be. Standing up for your beliefs is acceptable, even welcome, but personal attacks have no place on TeenHelp and never will. We all have differing beliefs and that is not something which we should be made to apologize for. Even when we express ourselves in a less than graceful manner, as a community we do and should place great value on respect.

Raedein, thank you for apologizing. For what it's worth, I definitely don't think you're an asshole. We're all entitled to our opinions, even those which others find offensive. There is nothing inherently wrong about what you have said in this thread, and I think (for the most part) people simply took issue with the manner in which you presented your opinions. Live and learn, yeah? As my father would so eloquently put it, I have "a battleship mouth and a rowboat ass", so I know how it feels to say things without thinking first. ;] Don't let it get you down, just use it as a learning experience.

I'm going to close this thread as it has gotten way out of hand. Additionally, I think that a thread of this nature is better suited in the Current Events and Debates forum, and should anyone like to respectfully continue this discussion you are welcome to create a thread there.

Thanks everyone. (: Feel free to PM me with questions!