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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Yet to orgasm. - April 12th 2010, 03:14 AM

Well... I have yet to orgasm. I've had sex four times, various positions, and still no orgasm. I've been fingered, we've tried various things. I haven't had someone go down on me yet, however.

Anyway, I'm worried that I'm going to be one of those women that NEVER orgasm. That would be... awful. I do enjoy sex, I do feel pleasure but no big bang yet. Help?


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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 12th 2010, 03:18 AM

Try masturbation, a lot of women just can't have orgasms from penetration. Plus, if you try masturbating you can find out what works for you and incorporate it into your sex life.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 12th 2010, 04:03 AM

I guess I'll try masturbating. I've never orgasmed from that either, probably should have mentioned that. I've masturbated in front of him, had phone sex (which involved masturbating on both ends, naturally), we've had sex, he's fingered me, everything but oral basically. And... nothing.


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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 12th 2010, 04:04 AM

Have you tried using any toys at all?


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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 12th 2010, 05:06 AM

A lot, (and I do mean quite a lot, myself included) have a hard time orgasming from just vaginal penetration. I orgasm much easier through clitorial stimulation, perhaps you could incorperate more of that into your relationship? Oh, and by the way .. I almost always used to orgasm when my ex went down on me. Good luck.


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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 12th 2010, 06:34 PM

I was terrified I was one of those women too My first orgasm took me completely by surprise and came from dry humping (fully clothed.) Which to this day is still the best way for me to orgasm ~ I enjoy other things but have yet to come from them. Try not to stress about it because it'll probably just ...happen at some point (: Maybe experiement for the time being. but don't worry about sex either, many people don't come from penetration. I'm not expecting that to happen for me for a while...but hey if it does, that'll be cool!!


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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 13th 2010, 01:52 AM

Hey,

As others have said, many women just do not orgasm from penetration. This is completely normal, albeit frustrating. I suggest that you try masturbating and finding out what it is you like, so that you can communicate with your partner about your needs a little easier.

Also, if you feel comfortable with trying oral sex, many women orgasm from this when nothing else works. You could also try a combination of oral and fingering...this stimulates your body in more than one way, and you'll probably be more likely to orgasm.

Take care. =]


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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 13th 2010, 02:23 AM

One of my best friends has been with a few guys... She has orgasmed once (and said she doesn't like orgasms either) and it was something only this one guy had every done and could really do. So maybe you've got a situation like that? (Not like the not liking it, but the fact that there may be something/someone to do it)


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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 13th 2010, 02:27 AM

Don't worry about it. I lost my virginity 4 years ago, and it wasn't until the end of last year that I actually had my first orgasm. That wasn't through lack of trying. I realised my problem was that even after I found exactly what I liked, I still couldn't orgasm because I was worrying about it too much. In a way, I tried too hard to reach it.
Try not to worry about it, just find out what you like, and enjoy it, and it will happen at some point, and it's worth the wait
   
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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 13th 2010, 05:04 PM

At 4 times, you're still very inexperienced. As you can see from the above answers, it can take a while. Even then almost half on women can't orgasm from vaginal sex alone. If you want to hurry things up a little, try stimulating your clitoral area while your bf is inside to get yourself accustomed to orgasming with him.


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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 13th 2010, 06:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by udontno View Post
Well... I have yet to orgasm. I've had sex four times, various positions, and still no orgasm. I've been fingered, we've tried various things. I haven't had someone go down on me yet, however.

Anyway, I'm worried that I'm going to be one of those women that NEVER orgasm. That would be... awful. I do enjoy sex, I do feel pleasure but no big bang yet. Help?
Well, I've never had one during sex either. I'm what you call a Syntribate. That means I can only orgasm by rubbing my legs together. That's it.


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  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 14th 2010, 03:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LaFin View Post
Have you tried using any toys at all?
Nope, don't have access to them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by natcat View Post
I orgasm much easier through clitorial stimulation, perhaps you could incorperate more of that into your relationship? Oh, and by the way .. I almost always used to orgasm when my ex went down on me. Good luck.
That's incorporated, often when we're having sex or if he's fingering me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KoKoEm View Post
(Not like the not liking it, but the fact that there may be something/someone to do it)
That might be it, I'm honestly not sure. There's got to be something to do it, I hope!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jiggi View Post
Don't worry about it. I lost my virginity 4 years ago, and it wasn't until the end of last year that I actually had my first orgasm.
Augh, that's so encouraging. I hope I don't have to wait three years to get one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Algernon View Post
Well, I've never had one during sex either. I'm what you call a Syntribate. That means I can only orgasm by rubbing my legs together. That's it.
Once again, so encouraging. Is your situation common? I've never heard of it before.


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Smile Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 14th 2010, 05:36 AM

I think every woman has this fear. A fear that she can't orgasm. And this fear causes women to stress about 'finishing'. Too many women focus soley on orgasming and not enjoying the sex at all. For a while, I never orgasmed because of this. I was too stressed about not orgasming. It is a self fufilling prophecy. But if you go into sex, or phone sex, or masturbating, thinking that you'll orgasm, you will. Don't let stress get in the way this. Once I let go of the anxiety, I orgasmed.

Also, masturbation is a great way to find out how your body reacts to different touches. If you're not orgasming while masturbating, take a night dedicated to pleasing yourself. Take a bath, light some candles, incense, whatever. Also, get some lube if you don't get wet enough because that can also inhibit your orgasming pleasure. Then slowly touch yourself until you find postive responses in your body (you'll know what I am talking about) and then push the barriers there.

Hope this advice helped! Orgasming is a great feeling that everyone has a right to experience and I hope that you find a way to overcome this barrier!

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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 17th 2010, 11:01 PM

i must of had sex maybe 8 or 9 times and am yet to orgasm from it, although it wasn't until the 6th or 7th time that i even began to feel comfortable and enjoy sex atall... so maybe over time once it becomes less 'new'. Like others have said, it could happen from just relaxing and not worrying about it so much...
   
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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 17th 2010, 11:07 PM

I never orgasmed till I masturbated with toys. =)


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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 17th 2010, 11:57 PM

You could try oral, unless one of you feel uncomfortable with it. But I know it's how a lot of girls DO orgasm. (but I suspect there is a reason you haven't tried already, so you can most likely negate this).
If you ARE one of those people who do not orgasm, it will be okay! A LOT of women never orgasm, but that doesn't mean you cannot find pleasure in sexual activity.
Some suggestions....
-Try having sex in a different location (not a bed/chair/couch, like outside or in a bathtub)
-Have him talk you through every motion he makes
-Be sure to give yourself a lot of time so you aren't worried about anyone finding you guys, or feeling insecure in any way
-Try not to THINK about trying to orgasm or it will cause stress on your body, preoccupate your mind, and hinder your ability to have one.
-Maybe when he fingers you, try helping him/guiding him and telling him what feels better (g-spot stimulation along with clitoral stimulation might work)

Hope this helps!
-Amy


   
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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 18th 2010, 07:27 AM

Have you tried different positions when having sex? For me, it's hard to orgasm unless I layback with my legs over his shoulders and have him close down to me, or if I'm on top, but that takes awhile.

Make sure you guys do foreplay, try to build it up before penetration.
   
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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 21st 2010, 06:01 AM

I've orgasmed twice during sex. Once when I lost my virginity, once just recently. The only other thing that gets me is dry sex, but I still prefer actual sex.

The second time was with me on top and him sitting on the edge of the bath. I guess it was just the right angle etc.


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Re: Yet to orgasm. - April 21st 2010, 08:47 PM

Seems to be a lot of penetration - sex, fingering - but no focusing purely on your clitoris. Encorportating it isn't quite the same. Get him to focus PURELY on it. Use his tongue and his fingers.

Do you know where your clit is yourself? if not, have some fun finding out. You will have to guide him to where it is and which place is most sensitive.

I'd also recommend using toys. I find it hard to get off without them.

And I've never orgasmed through sex, after years of experience, it's not something that will happen for me. This isn't necessarily a terrible thing (though it would be nice) -- sex is still very enjoyable and it means I get a lot of attention focused on ME before hand! You can also use toys on your clit WHILST have sex which tends to be pretty mindblowing. hehe


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