Non-PG13: he didn't even TRY to please me...

[maryprince]

we're on the couch watching a basketball game. he starts kissing my ear and rubbing me, you know. getting into all that stuff. i can immediately feel his erection that he's thrusting into my back. i can tell, he wants sex.

well not actual sex sex because we're both virgins. but we've done basically everything but penetration.

so we start making out, he unclasps my bra and i undo his shirt buttons. same ol' same ol'. and we're getting pretty into it, when he takes my hand down into his pants. now, i have no problem giving him a hand job or even oral sex, but i like to do it on my own terms you know? i was hardly even aroused when he wants me to get him off. and i play around with him for a little while and then guide my hand back up, but he thrusts it down again.

but he hasn't even tried to please me.

i keep trying to kind of guide him my direction, if you know what i mean, but he was just so focused on me pleasing him.

and i've given him hand jobs and blow jobs, etc. without him returning the flavor. heck, i even swallow.

but it hurt that he didn't even try to please me. i wasn't even aroused at all!

what's going on? usually he is amazing and caring, but he was extremely selfish in bed tonight. now, i don't mind if he has a lot of stress and needs me to relieve him, but you think he would at least thank me? or try to return the favor or something?

so what should i do?

also, if you have any stories about your boyfriend/girlfriend not bringing you to orgasm, please share. this is kinda hard for me to deal with because it's one of those things that isn't fair, but he could do something to make it fair....because this has happened a couple times before too. and he never just makes me orgasm, he expects me to return the favor...

help?

[ChapperIce]

My boyfriend has done this a few times. Though usually he has intentions of pleasing me but he sometimes likes to take turns if we're not having sex. Which is fine but when he goes first he's usually too tired to get me off afterwards.

You need to sit him down and talk about it. Tell him it takes two to tango and if he isn't willing to make sure you're enjoying yourself as well, he can just use his own hands.

I know how it feels. My problem is that I go down on my boyfriend more often than he goes down on me (and i know for a fact, since i did it to turn him on, that I taste 100 times better than he does) so I brought it up and the next time we did something sexual, he immediately went down.

So talk to him about it. If you already have, then stop if he does this again. Get up and walk away if he does the same stuff next time (or starts to do this if you suspect he did it just so you would shut up or something) and just avoid sex until he gets the picture.

[her_beautiful_mistake]

I just kind of say "my turn!" It's got to be about sharing.

Though were times when it was all about him because it's was his birthday () or he'd had a bad day or something. That was fine with me I don't mind occasionally. There were times when it was all about me, too.

[LittleMiss]

I wouldn't say that both having an orgasm is fair, but he needs to at least pay some attention to you.

Don't give him what he wants until he gives something to you first.

[Nicolette]

I woulda told him you're not a full service and if he wants some gas he's gotta press the right buttons to get himself pumping

[Keep Calm and Eat Cake]

the guy ive been seeing i probably have done more for him then he does for me; but mainly thats because if im on my period i don't want him anywhere near there; although he always feels bad when it's all about him.

it sounds strange to me that your bf doesnt feel bad about it. maybe if next time youre fooling around you joke like "oi, it's all about you, no fair!" or as someone posted above "my turn!", but if this fails i reckon you need to properly talk to him.
my ex kind of annoyed me when we were doing stuff as he wouldn't take off my bra or excuse this, undo my jeans or whatever. instead he would undo his own jeans and kind of just expect me to fool around. it wasn't until i got with the guy im seeing now that i realised how selfish my ex was sexually!

[Algernon]

Originally Posted by her_beautiful_mistake

I just kind of say "my turn!" It's got to be about sharing.

Though were times when it was all about him because it's was his birthday () or he'd had a bad day or something. That was fine with me I don't mind occasionally. There were times when it was all about me, too.

That's what I'd do too, lol, "my turn!"

[flowerchild32273]

lol i dont really need to say anything. my man really wants to please me. id say try to talk to your bf about it. let him know that youre feeling a little neglected in bed. if he cares about you he should care about your pleasure as well as his own. it can't be all about him all the time. maybe ask him why he does that. he might not even realize that he's doing it. ive had bf's before that were selfish in bed but the relationships didnt last long or go very far sexually so i dont have any good stories. im lucky that matt is so amazing to me and i dont need to tell him that i need attention. i actually feel bad sometimes because he'll spend ages going down on me and he likes to do it but i cant go down on him for that long. i get tired

[maryprince]

yeah, i'll try some of the things mentioned above. we were fooling around today and everything was fine. i'm just concerned because he's done it before. maybe he just had a bad day and didn't want to talk about it. i'll go see what's up.

thanks for all the advice! it really made me a little more sane! lol

[bitesize]

Yeah, there are days when one of you might be feeling mroe selfish, it happens (: But my advice would be to say it. My ex-boyfriend could get like this and I never said it to him...cue a sex life that got gradually mooore and moooore borrring...