Re-establishing Our Sexual Connection?

[PhoenixAlive]

My husband and I haven't had sex for over 3 months now. We really want to start to reconnect in that way, but every time one of us is in the mood, the other is usually too tired or too busy to do anything. On the occasion that we do have the opportunity to have sex and we're both in the mood, I feel too uncomfortable because of my body to actually do anything, or our daughter's awake.

We have an 8-month-old daughter who is too aware at this age for us to feel comfortable having sex while she is awake. My husband works and goes to school as a Chef apprentice during the week, and we're both exhausted by the time she goes to bed and we can't afford an overnight babysitter.

As for my problem, as an ftm transsexual, it is really difficult for me to get past my body-hate issues. These feelings have been getting worse over the last year, to the point that I can't be undressed for more than a few seconds without feeling like crap.

Does anyone have any advice for us?

[wonderbread]

I take it you two do love each other and that is the important thing here. Hun you may hate your body but your husband loves you so it doesn't matter to him. If your husband loves you thats all that matters and with his help you need to start learning to love yourself. You are beautiful, you just have to open your eyes. Think of your daughter as well. You want to love yourself so she knows how to love herself when she is old enough. I have body issues as well and it is hard so extremely hard. I know its not only just effecting me. It effects my fiance.
As for the sex thing. It is okay to go a while with out. But you do want to start the reconnection. (TBH I dont think your sexual connection was ever lost). Here is the hard truth of it though. The times you guys are both in the mood together is totally great. But another part about being in a relationship is loving that person and doing things to make that person happy. So maybe your not in the mood but he is, sometimes it is better to make him happy and please him and visa versa. Not to mention you may not be in the mood but sometimes in the process of making him happy you get in the mood. ( BEEN THERE DONE THAT) And it can turn out to be a lot of fun. And I think once you start to do this. You two will start to both be in the mood together alot more once you know that each of you are willing to sexually please the other.

[Mizu-Kun]

I don't think you understand what my husband is saying. The body issues mean that as long as the breasts are there, and there is a lack of penis, then his body makes him feel horrible. As for the "When we're both in the mood" or "one is but the other isn't", we're both too tired to lift a slice of bread, let-alone try to have sex. I mean, do you KNOW how much TIME and WORK there is in gay sex? seriously! you have to make sure nothing gets stretched and hurt, etc. etc., and I have to make sure I don't slip, or aim in the wrong direction... And I am not on the receiving end lately due to a surgery almost a year ago that still hasn't healed, but that's for another post.