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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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i want to do more but im scared.. hj???! - May 12th 2010, 03:37 AM

hey i have been with my bf for almost a year and a half and we are both 19. He had another gf before me but just kissed her (not even made out) and didnt do anything with a girl besides me. But me on the other hand i did do stuff with my ex but now ive done more finally with my bf then my ex when i was younger. my boyfriend is really respectful and knows my ex was an ass, pressured me and my bf's dad left him and his mom when he was a kid so john lets call him (my bf) has been taught to be respectful

hes the type to take things sloww.. really slow. he took maybe 7 months to say i love you .. and maybe 2 months ago moved on from making out and on me on hj stuff and fingering. now hes made comments about my giving him a hj and hes even said he would /was about to put his underweaars down but im like so scared aha i duno why i've just never seen that or given a hj and im afraid im going to be grossed out lol any tips? is it that big of a deal? since hes fingered me i feel its only fair hes saying its ok though and i dont need to but he knows im kinda shy with that but so wierd i can let him do it to me but im scared to do it to him. hes saying its ok and i dont need to but then hes also said he wouldnt care if i saw down there and hes also basically said he wants to see me toplesss. do you think its not fair i havent given a hj? any tips?
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Re: i want to do more but im scared.. hj???! - May 12th 2010, 04:00 AM

Hey there,

For the hj, we aren't allowed to give you tips, but Google would be a great place to look for tips.
Bottom line is this: Don't do anything that you don't feel comfortable doing.

Take care
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Re: i want to do more but im scared.. hj???! - May 12th 2010, 04:11 AM

ook maybe not tips then.. but is it such a big deal as i feel it is? does it sound like he wants me to or not? im confused
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Re: i want to do more but im scared.. hj???! - May 12th 2010, 04:41 AM

Hey there Ally,

Anything sexual can be kind of hard/confusing/weird at first. The best thing to do, if you feel ready, is to take it slow. Get used to him and his body and then go from there. I think that getting comfortable with your partners 'anatomy' is always important because then it does not feel so weird.

Do you feel like giving your boyfriend a HJ is something you would like to do? If so go for it but just take it slow. If you start to feel uncomfortable tell your boyfriend and then stop.

Here is the thing, never do anything that you do not feel comfortable or ready for.

I hope this helped and if you need anything feel free to pm me.


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Re: i want to do more but im scared.. hj???! - May 12th 2010, 05:14 AM

As people have said, don't do anything you're not comfortable with.

Because of my background with rape and molestation, and taking into consideration the fact my boyfriend is incredibly respectful in general, he'll ask me or talk to me before he does anything to me. When it comes to doing things for him, he might say "You should do..." or "Would you like to...?" but if I say "no," he immediately backs off and no longer pressures me. I felt pressured once (to shower with him) but told him how I felt and he stopped doing it and didn't do it for the rest of the week he was here. The fact he asks my permission means a lot to me.

Perhaps you could talk to your boyfriend and try sharing your concerns with him. You don't need to go into detail about how you feel you might be grossed out. But maybe share the ideas that you aren't sure what he'd like, you'd need to take it slow, etc. and see what he says. He sounds caring and respectful and as such, should be willing to pay attention to and respect your needs and desires. Also, if it helps, you can tell him that you'd like his guidance when it comes to things like that. I love it when my boyfriend guides me through it and even helps me, as it makes me feel less like I'm on my own and more like he's there to help me every step of the way.
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Re: i want to do more but im scared.. hj???! - May 12th 2010, 08:24 AM

If you don't want to do it then don't do.
I was raped twice and forced to do things and my bf understands that I's highly stressed by trying to be made to do things.
He took everything slow with me and asked me before he did anything and during kept checking I was ok and if I wanted to stop and stuff.
The first time I went to give him a HJ it took me litteraly like 10minutes to touch the thing x.x
He was completely understanding though and let me go at my own pace.

Just tell him how you feel and if you decide to do it then go ahead.

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