Female Advice Preferred: Orgasm for girls?

[laughter]

I've been sexually active for over a year now and I don't believe I have ever had an orgasm. My boyfriend doesn't either. In his past relationships he's seen it multipule times and i just never have. It's very annoying to think that i can't "get off". I know this is a little weird but if you could maybe explain what it really is for a girl to gasm that would help. and what my boyfriend needs to do to help me out a little.. I think he's starting to feel like he isn't good enough =[

[Stained Dreamer]

i don't think i can give too detailed of an answer, but i'll do my best to help you without offending any admin.

okay, so the best way to describe it is like you're high. I've never smoked anything so I don't know if it's that kind of high, but you just feel yourself building up to it and you just keep wanting more and then finally when it happens you don't even think anymore... you're just flooded with pleasure.

a few tips for you personally- it's easiest for me to orgasm close to my period...about a week or so before. the day before, no, but if you're in that ovulating stage, your body WANTS sexual pleasure, so it's really easy. advice to him- let him explore you and try different things he wants and tell him if you like it...direct his hand to do what you like. (that may have been to explicit, i'm sorry!) but you get the idea.

hope that helps!

[bitesize]

Try not to focus on having an orgasm ~ the pressure will make you tense up and less likely to have one. It helps the more relaxed you are. For me, I find I have to be completely at ease with the situation ~ in a warm, comfortable, preferably inside place, with someone I can completely relax with, not feeling rushed or pressured. Just enjoy the feeling. I know it can be frustrating when it hasn't happened before ~ I was having sex for about eight months before my first orgasm took me completely by surprise, and that wasn't even from penetration. (They still never are.) It'll happen in it's own time, but just try to enjoy how it feels along the way and let it happen naturally.

[lovetakesoverr]

I've heard most girls don't orgasm from sex. Maybe just experiment as much as possible, and see what works for you.

[Power Cosmic]

I know I'm not a girl, but I just thought I'd add this:
Get comfortable with yourself too. Masturbation is the key, if you know your own body, you know what you like. When you're relaxed, not feeling under pressure, try it yourself and then you'll be able to tell your boyfriend what it is you like, which can hopefully help you both achieve a climax.

[taylalatbh.]

Have you tried masturbating? If you relax yourself and masturbate on your own, you can see if you can achieve orgasm on your own. Then you can find out what works for you, what gets you going and what gets you off. Until you know how it works, how can you expect anyone else to do it for you?

The more you think about achieving orgasm during sex, the harder it will be to get there. You'll stress yourself out and it just won't happen. Just enjoy sex as it is, and it should come on its own. When you've worked out how to get yourself to acheive orgasm, you can tell your boyfriend what you like and what works for you. Then he will be able to try it with a little more success.

It's highly unlikely that you'll get an orgasm from penetrative sex, so if you're trying to have an orgasm, focus more on clitoral stimulation. That's usually the key to getting there! Try to explain to your boyfriend that it's not his fault, and he shouldn't feel useless or anything like that. This is something that you have to work out for yourself, and only then can you allow someone else to give you an orgasm. The more you relax the better it will be.

Good luck!

[Maloo]

All I'd like to add is that I don't think it's fair for you to say that you're starting to think your boyfriend isn't good enough. If you can't even give yourself an orgasm, how do you expect him to be able to? It's not like he's going to magically know what gets you off. So just.. don't pin it on him when it's not his fault.

[Kayla200]

I feel for ya I have never had an orgasm from sex eather...but the others who posted are right you need 2 feel completly relaxed n happy with everything....also you could try buying things if you know what I mean to make both yours and his experiance better and possably orgasm hope I helped

[Saphire]

Originally Posted by Myss

All I'd like to add is that I don't think it's fair for you to say that you're starting to think your boyfriend isn't good enough. If you can't even give yourself an orgasm, how do you expect him to be able to? It's not like he's going to magically know what gets you off. So just.. don't pin it on him when it's not his fault.

She said he's starting to think he's not good enough, she wasn't saying that she doesn't think he's good enough.

And to the OP, i'm sorry I don't have any advice as I have the same problem :/

[Maloo]

Originally Posted by Saphire

She said he's starting to think he's not good enough, she wasn't saying that she doesn't think he's good enough.

And to the OP, i'm sorry I don't have any advice as I have the same problem :/

Oh damn, sorry. I read that wrong, and I completely take it back.

[niente_]

Same problem here, my boyfriend is starting to feel a bit useless i think.
For me, orgasms don't come through penetration, they come from rubbing certain areas. All i can say is when you have one, you'll know. It'll come eventually.

[Alicia.C]

Take your time and experiment. Make sure you tell him what you like and what doesn't do it for you. It can take a while, but you'll get it. I'm the opposite. I can only orgasm through sex, not fingers or oral. :/ Every woman is different! We also experiement a lot. Toys and stuff.

[Kyeto-X]

Basically you just need to relax and enjoy the moment. Even as I guy I had one or two times where is was trying to force the moment and it happened...I came, but it kinda hurt and didn't feel as awesome as a normal orgasm.

Make sure you have all the time in the world, and enjoy every step of the way. It's the journy, not the destination that makes sex good. Take time for foreplay, masturbation, thinking outside the box. Allow your boyfriend and you to come up with fanstasies roleplays, or dirty talk on thre spot. be spontanisous and welcome to change in a routine.

And like everyone else said, make sure you are comfortable with your body and with your boyfriend. If you are uncomfortable and not ready, then it will feel awkward and forced

[LittleMiss]

I've only orgasmed twice from penetration alone. I can't get myself there either so you're not alone.

It has very little to do with your boyfriend being good enough, it's all about your body and what pushes your button.
You'll discover it one day (hopefully )

[katniss]

My advice would be to buy a vibrator, honestly. I never knew what an orgasm was until I bought mine, and now I know exactly what my boyfriend/girlfriend needs to do, don't be afraid to speak up once you know what you want
You'll know when you have one, it's mind-blowing, especially the first time it happens!
Good luck!

[Jaguar]

Lots of good advice here. I would add having your bf hold you while you give yourself an orgasm so you learn to relax enough around him to have it. Also, I had a gf who would stimulate herself while we were having sex to bring herself to orgasm. It was very satisfying for both of us.

[luvflamingos]

I agree with masturbating. I can barely go a few days without doing it. Once you know what it takes to get you there, you'll be able to help your boyfriend to help you. Does that make any sense? As for the feeling, OMG you will know when it happens!

[fahreekin-crazy]

Try going on top, it gives better access to your clitoris.
Another thing is to explore your fantasies. Look at porn or read erotica to discover what turns you on. If you aren't in the right mindset for sex or masturbation, of course you won't orgasm!