Non-PG13: An uncomfortable situation resolves

[TheThing2010]

I'm new to this site, so if this is the wrong section for my topic, I apologize. It's an experience I've had that turned out to be okay in the end. Note: If you hate long paragraphs, then so be it and please read on. If you're one of those "TL;DR" (too long; didn't read) people, then you may skip it if you want to.

Anyway, I was recently watching a YouTube video about the haunted Majora's Mask N64 cartridge. From then on, I decided to go to a chatroom which uses Chatango--"Add free live chat to any web page." Despite the videos making me have chills for the first time, I thought the topic would be interesting to check out, so I went there and stayed for a while. At first, I thought the website was designed just to have casual chats; have a good time; and joke every once in a while. This is what I originally intended it to be.

Last Thursday, I was just sitting around in my room minding my own business; it was around 4:00 in the afternoon. Then all of a sudden, this anonymous user, a girl, replies, "Hey sexy." (that is the exact font color she used)

The words didn't really get my attention--I just replied, "hey, there" as I normally do in chatrooms or whenever someone greets me in person. Then with no fear warning, after about a minute, she says, "I'm so horny right now." (Obviously, she doesn't use accurate spelling and grammar, so I make it right in this thread)

As soon as I saw this message, my heart just dropped; honestly, I have never EVER witnessed a girl say anything like this in a chatroom, even a direct message toward anyone such as myself. I looked at her Chatango profile and it just showed a picture of Orihime from Bleach, as well as her age which happened to be 16. I kept that number in my head for a moment. Thinking to myself, I have decided to just go with the flow: I tried to be humorous and say, "I bet you are. =]"

I thought that would make her laugh; I love making people laugh.

As the chat progressed, she told me if I had a webcam. Again, without hesitation, I said yes; she asked me for my MSN; I sent it to her; and she sent me a request. As soon as I accepted it, the profile picture was similar to her Chatango photo, but it was something, like before, I have never expected to see: it was her in her house at an angle, smiling, pulling down her tank top, showing her breasts.

I thought, "God d*mn! She has got guts to show herself like that; She's way beyond my level; I would never do that!" To be honest, her face and breasts weren't so bad-looking either; just medium-sized and symmetrical, but that's just me

After I've accepted her friend request, she immediately invites me to start a video chat. What I like to do in these situations is to wear my black sunglasses to conceal my identity, even though she's technically all the way in Minnesota. So after I've accepted it, all I saw on her screen was black; she told me her webcam was broken because she claimed that her brother dropped it by accident and caused it to malfunction. I felt a little disappointed on one side, and not-so on the other.

When this happened, personally it was a sign of relief because I have never seen a girl expose herself in real time, over a webcam for MSN, before.

Then she says the usual things: "so horny just looking at you" and "can I see u shirtless" and "wow u r so hot.... -drool- lol" and "wish i could see less clothes" and so on. In the middle of this, I just keep talking about things totally unrelated to avoid pushing myself into the situation.

At the time when she said "u could rub it and get it hard, and "we could work to get you past this level," I thought to myself, "Okay, f--- this. This is WAY too uncomfortable for me. What was I thinking? WHY AM I DOING THIS?" At this point, I'm trembling in the "lower extremities"; I felt coldness everywhere throughout my entire body. She also said that she is 18 years old, so that was a little bit of hope.
So then, I had to be completely honest and tell her the absolute truth: "I can't do this. I, honest to God, cannot do this."

To my surprise, she clearly understood everything I said why I felt uncomfortable. I expected her to just log off and/or remove me from her contact list, but she said the following things after my thorough explanation: "ok; i understand; no its fine i like u a lot; ok ttyl sexy."

Summary:

If you feel uncomfortable while doing something with another person, don't be afraid to stop yourself and tell that person how and why you feel that way. Luckily and more likely, your partner will understand and respect your decision in a calm, respectable manner.

[Brandon]

Cyber sexing with a random people is a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD idea. You put SO MUCH at risk. When you talk to a random stranger, especially on MSN, your computer is completely vulnerable. Once they gain access to your computer, they can access all sorts of files and shit that you weren't even aware you had. Not to mention that the police could get you for adding a 16 year old with the intent of having webcam sex. It's dangerous and not worth it. But we all learn from our mistakes.

[James Bluntus]

Yes. What you did was extreamly risky. I'm glad it turned out okay in the end.

[jillianjayde]

"And this season on To Catch A Predator..." HAHA.

[TheThing2010]

By the way, this was the first time I have ever done this, so that's why I stopped myself; it was wrong. Plus it's getting close to the winter season; I get cold.

I got as far as taking my shirt off because I feel comfortable enough to do that. If her webcam even worked in the first place, the situation would have ended much differently.

This is probably not worth mentioning, but I think about this one thing: Somewhere behind that perv-ish attitude is a woman who clearly understands people that are talking to her. I bet with a little practice, with casual conversations and such, she could learn to control herself more efficiently and express her feelings and desires without pushing it. I assume that there are amorous relationships over webcam chat to this day, but it doesn't necessarily mean I will have one.

By the way, this situation was basically a turn-off for me; I got nothing out of it because I was so dang nervous. But there's one thing that was absolutely certain: it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

[Kyeto-X]

Cybering with random people is bad, dangerous, and not completley without risk. Although you don't get any of the phyiscal side effects (such as AIDS or a pregnancy) you can still go though all of the emotional side effects you would go though in a random hook-up at a bar. i.e. Emotional intamacy, attactment, and heartbreak. While not as STRONG as actual sex, the emotional aspect is still there and can still effect you. Not to mention the legal accept of it that this other person is some previe old dude that is recording your webcam session in order to a) enjoy it himself b) share it with his previe buddies online or c) sell it to more previe friends online

not safe...don't do it :P

[TheThing2010]

One last thing, and I hope it makes sense:

I got this from a site called en.allexperts.com

If you need to immediately stop cybersex, start talking about something different--your favorite TV shows/movies, hobbies, and other things in order to grasp of what the person is like.

I believe that "by introducing a small conversation, other than the cybersex talk, may lead you into more than just the sex." If I can get her to do this next time she talks to me, then I bet she will take it with consideration and she will do the same, developing a casual, polite and interesting conversation.

[ShimmeringFaerie]

I agree with Will. How do you know that this 'girl' is who she says she is? You say that you didn't see her on webcam, so how do you know that she is actually 16 years old or even female? People easily fake things on the internet; photos are especially easy to fake.

And I'm sorry, but I don't think the fact that she didn't push the issue means she is a nice, sensitive girl who respects your feelings. It just means that she has plenty of other guys she can get to do things she wants and she doesn't need to waste her time with you. Or that she is making you think she is respectful, so you are more likely to do things with her next time.

[SomebodyYouDon'tKnow]

If you're not comfortable with it, just close it.

You didn't see her, so for all you know it was some random person that used pictures from google images.

Be more careful next time. You can stop it all with the click of a button, so don't be afraid to stop something you're not comfortable with. Something like this can rally huge consequences. People can post that sort of material on the internet, and other people can see it. What if your friends and family saw that on the internet? What if you were applying for a job and your boss came across that?

You didn't seem to like the situation from the beginning. If you don't, then don't go any further. Just click the close application button if you don't want to explain. It was a good thing you wore those sunglasses, because this "girl" won't be able to expose you or anything. Next time, if you don't like it, don't do it.

[jillianjayde]

I just find this situation a bit unnerving since you are 18 years old and she went from being 16 to 18, which means she is probably 14.

The fact that she is just out of nowhere IMing you in order to have a provocative conversation is a red flag for me.

Also, her saying "It's OK, I like you a lot" after you told her you were uncomfortable with the situation rubs me the wrong way, since you said that you had never spoken to her before.

She sounds like a young girl who has some emotional issues and is using overtly sexual contact with strange men online as a way to feel better about herself. I don't really understand why are you so gung-ho to speak to her again?

Jillian Jayde

[Kitty.]

Cybersex is very dangerous. You have no clue how old someone is. People lie about their age all the time. You are extremely lucky that you got out of that situation.

I don't think you should continue talking to this girl. Even though you say you could just 'chit-chat' things could still happen. I am not trying to be harsh with this next statement, but she probably gets on cam quite often.

[TheThing2010]

It's also probably true that her webcam doesn't even wok in the first place, so in that case, I have NO IDEA what she looks like, officially.

I tried to cross-reference her details with other sites--from Google, for example, but nothing ever showed up.

I guess you can't trust anyone on the Internet...

[Chaos Theory]

Just...delete her from the contact and forget about it. Block her contact for safety. But do learn from this lesson that cybering is a horrible idea to begin with. I can bet my whole saving account that that said girl is actually a dude, just trying to hide behind her "broken webcam".