Female Advice Preferred: I just feel guilty...

[Disastrously Rose]

Okay, so I am only 13, and I know I shouldn't but I read online porn. Yes, I did say read. I don't look at pictures, or watch videos, but I read porn. And I masturbate to it. I feel absoloutley horrible. But now I have convinced myself not to do it, and I have come to terms with how wrong it is. I haven't read any porn, yet I have I masturbated for two days, and although it's only been a maximum of 48 hours I already feel like I'm on the road to recovery (as cheesy as that sounds.)

But today my parents were fixing some problem I had with my computer, so while they weren't looking I tried to delete my history just in case it had any of the things I used to read. My dad noticed this and asked if I had been on any inappropriate website and if he should start censoring what I do on my computer. I lied and said that I was just trying to find a website I had previously been on.

After that, a couple other minor things (like them asking if I had known I was going over my phone plan, which I told them I wasn't aware of, when truthfully I was) happened where I lied to them. I feel like a horrible person for masturbating, reading porn, and most of all: lying to my arents multiple times.

I just don't know what too do. Please help.

[Harmony♥]

Hey Scarlett,
Do not frett. There is nothing wrong with you!
It's completely normal to be curious about your body and your not going to get damned to Hell for reading erotica and masturbating to it. In fact, I used to do this as well, only with the little excerpts in the back of Cosmo magazines.
Watching porn, or reading erotica isn't going to ruin your life and like I said, you won't be damned to Hell.
If your a religious person, I understand why you might feel guilty, but honestly, there is nothing wrong with what your doing. I, too, starting masturbating at the age of 13 and I watch porn almost daily, when I get the chance. Just calm down and take two breaths. Your not addicting to masturbation, so calm down.

[darkangeljbm]

It is normal alot of people do the same thing of all ages As long as it is not taking your life over you are healthy .You have NOTHING to be ashamed about. I know alot of people even my self that reads porn we even talk about it some times lol. You are human and humans like everything else on this planet were made to reproduce it is normal to want to learn , understand,see and enjoy such things.

[Sythan]

I do it all the time. Sometimes reading it is better than looking at pictures. Sex is something natural to humans, its not something that should be repressed, but something that should be embraced.

[Xineas]

Masturbating releases substances that make us feel good about ourselves, that give us pleasure. If you like to read erotic stories along with that, nobody is going to blame you! In fact, I applaud you for reading stories instead of watching movies. Being 13 doesn't change anything. Especially around that age, you start experimenting and trying out what feels good. Don't worry about it!

As far as lying to your parents goes... Well... We're all human, we all do things we regret later. Lying is one of them. You're not a manipulative liar, so again, no need to worry. They're white lies, to cover up things you'd rather keep to yourself. Sure you could've told them about going over your plan and apologized right after, but that one about the browsing history removal... Many people do that every once in a while. (and there is some kind of mode where your browse history isn't saved, btw)

The only thing you have to do is calm down and take it easy. You're not a criminal for doing what you did and nobody is going to blame you for them. Don't fret and don't blame yourself!

[Disastrously Rose]

Thank you all so much, you all helped immensly, and definitally gave me al lot more happiness which I desperatly needed. Once again, thank you all! I feel ten times better with just your comments

[Crazy]

It is fine, I started masturbating around 9 or 10(if you are wondering why so young, I started my period two days before my 9th birthday, so ya). I have read and read stories that have sex in them. If you are just worried about getting caught try and read more stories that have a plots besides sex. If you wanted to you could get an acount on a writing website and look up the sex stories and that way you will be getting into the story not just into the sex scene. Oh, and on the religious matter. I am a bible believeing Christian and I do it, though my church family would not agree with me if they knew. It is all up to you, it is totally your choice.

[InDenial1992]

Nothing at all to be worried about. Every person is curious about their body. There is nothing wrong with looking at porn. People think its strange for woman to look at it but it is no different to men looking at it really.
Lying to your parents isnt that big of a deal so long as your not doing it all the time. Everyone tells the odd white lie to the parents so i wouldnt worry about it.
Hope everything works out okay
Pm me if you ever need a chat
Laura

[incandenza]

Trust me, there is NOTHING wrong with you. I did the same when I was thirteen. Honestly, it's a healthy release. However, lying can damage your relationship with your parents. Again, been there, done that. Try to talk to your mother (or whatever parent you feel most comfortable with) about exploring your sexuality. You and your parents need an open, frank discussion about it - trust me, it'll pay off in the future!