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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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Question Not a fan of giving oral - March 24th 2011, 07:52 PM

Soo, the only way to get my boyfriend turned on enough to have sex is by giving him a blowjob. Unfortunately, I don't like giving oral.

For me, I don't like the idea of having his pre-junk stuff in my mouth & my jaw hurts after a while. How do you get past that? I pause to give my mouth a break, while giving a handjob, but I can only do that for so long as well. & I just can't get past the mental process of having stuff in my mouth.

Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
   
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Re: Not a fan of giving oral - March 24th 2011, 07:58 PM

Have you tried explaining to your boyfriend your not comfortable with doing it? If this is the only way to turn him on, there is something wrong here. If your not comfortable with doing it, and your boyfriend isn't being supportive of that, then it's time to let him go.
Of course, the jaw is going to hurt after a while of giving oral. It happens, but there are other ways to turn your boyfriend on. He's just looking for a way to get an easy blow job from you, no offense.











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Re: Not a fan of giving oral - March 25th 2011, 01:09 AM

I'm not sure I necessarily agree with the above. Different people honestly have different turn-ons. For example, receiving oral or even the idea of it is a turn-off to me. I don't care much for it, and the idea makes me extremely uncomfortable. And sometimes even kissing doesn't do it for me. But, say, kiss my neck and it's a done deal. Not literally speaking, but it's the quickest way to arouse me, really. So okay, though it may not be his only way of being turned on, it may be the quickest and most enjoyable for him. Nothing wrong with that.

What would be wrong, however, is if he's not supportive of your feelings about it, assuming that you have voiced them. If you haven't, it may be time to sit down and speak with him. Something my ex and I did was alternate between oral and grinding up against each other. It was arousing for the both of us and it gave my jaw a much needed break. I'm not quite sure what you mean by "pre-junk," but have you ever considered using flavoured condoms? This may be a compromise that you two could settle on, assuming by "pre-junk" you don't actually mean his penis.

But if you're genuinely not comfortable with giving oral, he's going to need to respect that. It may be something you become more comfortable with later on, or it may be something you never do. But if he can neither accept nor respect it, then it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship. You shouldn't have to do something you don't enjoy. And one way to look at it is that this will give you the opportunity to explore new turn-ons for the both of you!
   
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Re: Not a fan of giving oral - March 25th 2011, 06:36 AM

By "pre-junk", I mean pre-cum. It doesn't taste bad or anything, I just mentally don't like it. I don't like knowing what it is.

My boyfriend is very supportive & hasn't pressured me to do anything. He was just explaining that his ex-girlfriends had to do that & he's not as easily stimulated.

As an update though, we were able to have sex tonight without me having to do oral, so it's a relief that I don't have to do it every time we want to have sex. On the other hand, I still want to pleasure him once in a while, so I'm just working on getting past some of my issues.

I agree though, not everyone is turned on so easily. Oral doesn't do much for me either. It kinda just drags on after a while. :P
   
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Re: Not a fan of giving oral - March 25th 2011, 07:21 AM

Maybe try inserting it at a different angle? As for the pre-cum phobia, its something you have to get used to. I know it seems like a disgusting idea, but you can work past it, I did.


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Re: Not a fan of giving oral - March 25th 2011, 02:53 PM

Yeah, I'm just trying to change my state of mind. Haha

Any position suggestions? I know you can like be on the floor in between his legs, & I've been like sitting on the bed next to him leaned over, but both ways don't give me a lot of room or comfort to do anything with my hands.

Thank you all for the advice!
   
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Re: Not a fan of giving oral - March 25th 2011, 03:43 PM

you can get flavored condoms so he could always wear one of thoose so then technically your still doing oral just nothin is going in your mouth apart from the condom thats on the end of his dick.



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Re: Not a fan of giving oral - March 26th 2011, 06:49 AM

Umm...positions. There's always him sitting on an elevated area, like a chair, and you kneeling on the floor or something. I know it's kind of demeaning, but it does open up a lot of room, I've also had him laying down and I'm sitting. Just experiment. That's always the best thing to do. I would try flavored condoms for sure. And try different hand things as well. Just experiment with what you're both comfortable with.


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Re: Not a fan of giving oral - March 27th 2011, 04:23 AM

I don't blame you for not wanting oral. It makes me gag and I find it disgusting. I would never do it.
Just tell him you won't do it and if he wants this relationship to work out, he'll just have to accept that and find another way, handjobs must work if you do them right. Maybe some K&Y jelly.
   
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Re: Not a fan of giving oral - March 27th 2011, 04:39 AM

If you are really that uncomfortable with it tell him that. He should understand if he cares for you. i'm the same way i hate doing it. i won't do it at all unless its his birthday lol im picky. but that's how i am. but you shouldn't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
   
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