Non-PG13 (Strong Language): What do you think about sex premarriage?

[football94]

I'm turning 17 soon and haven't done it before, but I have been asked to be in 3 "friends with benefits" relationships before but I turned them all down. when were you when you first did it and can you tell me what you honestly think about me waiting till probably after college or towards the end.

[Kitty.]

I am going to move this to the Sex and Puberty Forum because I feel that it fits better there.

[Terry]

Premarital sex is fine, in my opinion. I don't care much for marriage at all in the first place so I am probably biased, but some papers don't really change anything to me really. Sure, I think sleeping around is immoral etc, but if you are faithful in your relationships, I don't see a point in putting off something enjoyable just because you aren't married yet.

That being said I don't care much for "friends with benefits" because I think sex should be special and shared with some one you genuinely love. But I'm pretty old fashioned, so that might be a factor in my opinion.

[PutYourHeartsUp]

I actually don't really agree with waiting until after marriage, but I also believe in order to have a successful marriage you have to be sexually compatible. So having sex beforehand would make sense. I know I wouldn't want to be married to someone that couldn't sexually please me.

As far as your situation, I'm 18 and I've never had sex. There is not a thing wrong with that. If YOU want to wait until after college, then go for it but don't make a decision solely based on what some people on a website tell you to do. I don't really see all too much wrong with FwB (Friends with Benefits) but I don't usually think it's a good idea to lose virginity to a FwB only because I feel most people (at least that I know) would or have regretted it. But, I also feel that most guys I know would be way more okay with "losing it" in a FwB relationship than girls I know. This is because the girls I know are way more emotionally involved in "losing it" than the guys I know. This is not true for all males, or all females, however. I'm not really sure which category you'd fall into. So it's really what YOU want to do.

[bayhorse321]

Hey. I just wanted to let you know that I am 18 and a virgin. I choose to be only because I feel that it should be special and with someone that you love and when it can be more than just sex. I don't see anything wrong with it. I myself am not religious so it's not that. If you feel like waiting then I don't see why you shouldn't because while you are physically ready maybe you are not emotionally ready for that kind of attachment. Make sense?? Any how, good luck on finding the answer.

[Oneoftheducklings]

Premarital sex is fine. I didn't have sex for the first time until I was 17 and approaching my 18th birthday. The thing is you will know when you are ready and you won't have to ask someone if you are, the friends with benefits thing can sound like a good idea at first. But in my opinion you are better of finding a stable relationship and then going to the next level but of course it is your decision.

PM if you like.

[Meli]

There's nothing wrong with either of them. The way I look at it is like going to buy a shoe... You never buy a shoe without trying it on.. . I lost my vcard at 15 (which I think I could've waited but I'm not the type of person to regret things.. so whatever. what's done is done) and now since I'm getting older (well not that much.. im turning 16 next month xD) I won't have the worry alot of girls do when they're in the crazy college life and they are nervous they'll do something wrong with their partner who isn't a virgin. Not saying that's a reason to just get it over with but I know that that's something I'm happy about. Waiting is good too though! I'm sure a guy would love to know that he's the first guy you've ever been with! So there are positive elements to any choice you make(: I personally don't have the will-power to wait till marriage (obviously ) but if you do, and that's really what you want, go for it! I don't think either is wrong. If you love a specific person and you feel you want to give it up, than go for it(: Just make sure you wont regret it cause I'm sure that would feel horrible :S

[Smitten]

My opinion is that it is fine, but you should absolutely wait until you are with someone you feel you can completely trust. Having sex can be dangerous, and let's face it - most guy's are flight risk's if something goes wrong (IE: Accidental pregnancy). shelling out $50+/- for plan B, or $400+/- for an abortion or $250,000+/- in child support over the next 18 years; not to mention all the emotional issues that arise, is not exactly something most young guys are going to want to/be able to handle.

Before you have sex with anyone, you should have a good developed sense of who they are and if they are trustworthy; that means dating for over 6 months Ideally. Especially in a "Friends with benefit's" relationship, the guy isn't going to be there for you in a worst case scenario situation.

All that cautioning said, sex is wonderful - amazing even.

Just don't screw up your life over it.
I know I almost have several times...

[bitesize]

Premarital sex = yum.

In my opinion anyway.

I was seventeen.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

I used to believe in only sex after marriage. Ended up changing my mind & lost my virginity at 17 to my boyfriend of 9 months at the time. I am now with a different guy, & he's been with other people as well, but I think it's better so we're not wondering what it'd be like to be with other people. With my last boyfriend, I wondered what other guys would be like. My boyfriend even admitted that as much as he would have liked to be my first, he's glad I have something to compare him with.

[MacGuffin]

I think the choice of when to have sex is a personal one, and should be treated as such. For me personally, though, I saw no benefit in waiting until marriage to have sex. I don't believe there is a set "time" to have sex, but I do think it is advisable that people have sex once they really understand and are prepared to handle the consequences of doing so. I lost my virginity at fifteen, and looking back I think I lost it way too soon. I didn't have sex between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, but when I had sex at eighteen I noticed a world of difference in how I felt about sex and myself having sex. That's just me, though. For you, it might be completely different.

[Revolution]

I was 17.
I'm supportive of people that wait til marriage, because that is personally when they are ready, however, I do not think it is wrong to not wait.