Too messy and privacy? lots of questions?

[AmazonQueen]

So straight to the point I've been masturbating for as long as i can remember, when i was a very young child i would touch myself just because it felt good i didn't know it was bad and one day my dad caught me and gave me shit...now that i'm older i know it's okay but to do it in private the problem is in private is in my room with nothing to help get me off.
for me it's hard to get off by myself i need to read erotica, watch porn or talking dirty to someone or have them talk dirty to me ie anonymous chat or phone sex with "friends with benefits"
and in my room i don't have any of that the only place is down stairs on the desktop computer that doesn't move, i live alone with my dad and he doesn't work sometimes i play while he is out in the city or asleep but im afraid to get caught (aside from it just being over all bad and mortifying...i don't trust him and maybe not feel so safe after....so this part is important) and not sure how i can get more privacy and find something to get me off plus the walls are thin and i have no radio or stereo for music

and my other question is how do i know when i am orgasming sometimes it feels like i cum and there white juices but it doesn't feel "OMG" kind of good just somewhat relieving usually i think i squirt but im afraid sometimes im peeing it's hard to tell the difference (but it feels so good so i hope i'm not urinating) which is embarassing i can't control my body just yet, but it makes so much of a mess i just feel embarassed and kind of dirty after then im horny again in an hour or two. i'm not really sure what to do about all this

sorry for the long post and maybe unclear questions kind of embarrassing to mention some of it