Non-PG13: How To Tell Him?

[x-gothic-princess-x]

I have never experienced a Orgasm in my life (so far) but I get very close through clit stimulation. So we got told to think about getting a small "toy - Vib" So we got a small bullet, and though its gets me even closer I still have reached that big O. So I thought to get a multi speed one, and went behind the boyfriends back and get one. Now I wish to introduce it to the bedroom, but unsure how to without causing any tension between him. He feels that that toy will replace him, even though I've tried to explain its just to give you a helping hand and its used to make things a little bit different and will never replace you.

Maybe you guys can explain

Charlie x

[Aletheia*]

Just tell him that the toy-vib you had before just wasn't working for you, and you wanted to broaden your horizons. If he becomes offended, just tell him that it's not to replace him, that you just wanted to introduce it in the bedroom for something the BOTH of you can enjoy.

Hope this helps.

[x-gothic-princess-x]

Okay good idea thanks

Any other suggestions are still welcome though

[PlayingPretend]

I had a similar situation with my boyfriend. I simply explained that I'd be getting the best of both worlds (clitoral stimulation and the rest) and that it's not something we have to try until he's comfortable with it. If you've already been using a toy, I would use Shannon's suggestion of saying that the one you've been using hasn't been working for you, so you got one that might.

[x-gothic-princess-x]

Okay thanks Shannon and Elliotte

[Revolution]

Just talk to him, tell him some girls (myself included) have trouble achieving orgasm with intercourse alone and that it'd just be able to help him help you. I bet he'll understand. He wants you to have the best experience you can, and just explain that it'll help achieve that.

[Ambiance]

Make sure he's got control over the toy; you can show him what to do, if he doesn't figure it out on his own, but make sure that he's the one moving it and such. This way, he'll still feel like it's what he's doing that's turning you on.

[HeartofanAngel]

Its very normal for most women to have trouble reaching their first orgasm, or any at all for some of them! My suggestion to you is take this as an opportunity to sit down with your bf, have a completely open conversation about your sex life and things you both want to share together.


Not only will this help bring you 2 closer by letting go of any fears you had with them sexually, but who knows, you just may find something between you 2 that becomes the fuel to ignite your first fire! If he loves you then i'm sure he wont mind and may even end up liking your curiosity to use toys hehe. I wish you well!

[hazza95]

Just a thought, maybe you should get him a vibrating ring. And say its our little adventure

[Tigerrr]

Well, i have that EXACT same issue. After me mentioning it a few times he got me one for my birthday (as well as other things obviously). And it still didnt work.

Just tell him that he is really good and that there is nothing wrong with what he is doing as he does actually get you really close. But you think you just need a little more help. And that it happens to lots of girls as some of us just have difficult bodies... But explain you really want to get there WITH him and that this might help.

Good luck!

[Clitless]

Wow, my boyfriend WANTS to buy me toys...
Ask him if HE masturbates, because of course he does. And is his hand going to replace your vag? No, so he should get over his insecurities.

[Heartlines.]

Your boyfriend is feeling insecure because he hasn't been able to make you orgasm. And by. He getting a vibrator, and reaching an orgasm through it, he will feel like crap because the vibrator made you orgasm but he couldn't.

I would get one and tell him that just because you have a vibrator, doesn't mean it's replacing him. Let him control the vibrator. Try lube as well. That can sometimes intensify things. If he gets but hurt about it, then that's his problem. He will get over it. All you can do is communicate with him and be honest with him. You can't make him get over his insecurities though.

I also like the idea of the vibrating ring. That way he feels pleasure in almost the same way you do.