Female Advice Preferred: Trouble getting turned on by my boyfriend

[Baileyakasha]

k so, Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year now and he has troubles turning me on. He's been able to do it in the past but now it can either hurt or I feel nothing. I still get turned on, but i feel like its not happening enough! I love him like crazy and breaking up is NOT an answer! I really need help! what do I do?!

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

Try just taking things slowly. Are you trying to have sex? Have lotsss of foreplay beforehand. That usually does the trick for me. Or buy lube, which also helps.

[Baileyakasha]

OK thanks I'll try that! And we sorta r trying to but I'm too scared of not getting turned on!

[Swirl]

Try to relax. Sometimes when you're stressed or something is bugging you, it can have and impact on your sex life. Enjoy the moment.

[Baileyakasha]

Originally Posted by Cocho

Try to relax. Sometimes when you're stressed or something is bugging you, it can have and impact on your sex life. Enjoy the moment.

OK thanks I'll try!

[Kyeto-X]

Yeah, like everyone else said, sometimes the stress of TRYING to be turned on will actually stop you from become turned on in the first place. Take it slow, lots and lots of foreplay helps with this too.

Also, TALK to him about it. Tell him how you feel and let him know what works and what doesn't. Maybe you can try to spice things up with a simple roleplay or something. This will FORCE him to slow down to stay in the part. (I've been using the same technique lately, and found several good scenarios that work on turning her on AND slowing down my foreplay Nothing elaborate, something as simple as pretending to be in a massage parlor and giving you a massage works ) But always keep an open line of dialogue with your romantic partner.

[Baileyakasha]

Originally Posted by Kyeto-X

Yeah, like everyone else said, sometimes the stress of TRYING to be turned on will actually stop you from become turned on in the first place. Take it slow, lots and lots of foreplay helps with this too.

Also, TALK to him about it. Tell him how you feel and let him know what works and what doesn't. Maybe you can try to spice things up with a simple roleplay or something. This will FORCE him to slow down to stay in the part. (I've been using the same technique lately, and found several good scenarios that work on turning her on AND slowing down my foreplay Nothing elaborate, something as simple as pretending to be in a massage parlor and giving you a massage works ) But always keep an open line of dialogue with your romantic partner.

Thank you I'll definitely try that! Great Advice!

[Xx.Shes.Unbroken.xX]

I'm single now. But, with my ex... when we was making out, he would bite my neck. And, he would do it harder and harder. That would turn me on like a light. I swear to goodness I would never need lube with him. haha or him whispering in my ear after him kissing my neck. Or, him running his hands up and down my body while he kisses me. It sounds weird, I know. But, that works for me.(:

[Le bonheur*]

Relax, take it slow, and enjoy yourself.

[Revolution]

Are you able to get turned on by yourself? I would do some experimenting by yourself, or some experimenting with him that does not involve sex. He can maybe finger you, or try oral sex. I had a lot more luck with non-penetrating sexual practices than with sex, and it sort of will help you be able to get turned on with sex as well.

Then as many have said, foreplay is the key. And lots of lube for the pain, when you're not as turned on, sex can be very painful, so make sure you use lots.

I would also consider the use of toys, alone or with your boyfriend. It sounds weird, but it can be very enjoyable.

Good luck!

[vivid2012]

just relax and be patient. Good luck for u.

[Verità]

Originally Posted by Coffee❤

Are you able to get turned on by yourself? I would do some experimenting by yourself, or some experimenting with him that does not involve sex. He can maybe finger you, or try oral sex. I had a lot more luck with non-penetrating sexual practices than with sex, and it sort of will help you be able to get turned on with sex as well.

This is really good advice. If you know what you like, then you can guide him, and tell him what works best for you. Having an idea of what is good for you can give him more confidence in what he is doing, and might make him willing to try more things.

You and your boyfriend could also look into "sex games". I can't elaborate more about them on here, but I'm sure some internet research would bring you lots of results, and something will most likely work for both of you. Just be patient and open to new experiences, and I'm sure things will work out in no time.