Non-PG13: Problem having intercourse...mind over body or body over mind?

[NewsFly]

So my partner and I have tried to have intercourse, but it didn't go too well. (Yes, I'm a virgin) He couldn't penetrate at all regardless of how many times we have tried at different times. We figured that I'm just too tight or I'm not relaxing enough, but I figured that being too tight couldn't possibly be the case, especially if I was totally relaxed and accepting.

I later found out that I have Vaginismus (funny name, i know) which is an involuntary vaginal muscle tightening. It's usually triggered from having a traumatic experience sexually commonly associated with rape, molestation, or having a bad first time...but it's being discovered that there isn't really a cookie cutter reason for it.
So my question...is there anything i can do? When I was 8, I have dealt with molestation and was nearly raped by a total stranger by gunpoint. I'm not really affected by it anymore so I'm confused why there's muscle tightening. Any help?

[Aletheia*]

Being tense is definitely a factor in this. You need to relax. I had a problem my first time as well, and it was because I was nervous and tensed up. Once I relaxed, penetration wasn't too difficult to achieve.

Instead of just jumping into sex, do some foreplay. Loosen yourself up, and get used to it. Might help.

[NewsFly]

thing is...I was relaxed and there was a TON of foreplay...hmm..maybe we'll keep working at it. Thanks~

[JellyBean4986]

Sometimes if you have a pillow under your hips that can help hun. Just try to make sure your completely relaxed, and it will happen.

[Le bonheur*]

Originally Posted by JellyBean4986

Sometimes if you have a pillow under your hips that can help hun. Just try to make sure your completely relaxed, and it will happen.

Agreed.
Make sure your relaxed, comfortable, and in the moment. Also maybe using some type of lube may help? Not too sure... Either way, relax and good luck.

[Acheron]

This is one of those things that you should see a doctor about. Vaginismus is a real bitch of a problem, but with patience and expertise it can be overcome. Trying to just force your way through it, though, is only going to lead to pain and frustration.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

Besides stress, it could also be positioning. Sometimes starting out on top is easier for us girls because we get to control the speed & depth. Just experiment a bit, but don't rush or it'll just cause more stress & tension.