OMG I Cant believe it

[victoriabankson]

after all the plannig and everythign i get wiht the guy tongiht (its my first but not his) we where doing forplay and everythign ahh he was so freaking nervous cuz he was scared his parnts would find us so all i got was fingured some boob action and making out then we gave up ahh im so pissed i spent 3 weeks making sure i had the time and i was able to do it and ahh im so frustaned so arrrge any advice idk i just really needed to vent sorry

[casseliz]

If you have to make time for it then I dont think it is worth it. I will tell you from experience: planning makes for a very rushed time and it doesnt make it enjoyable. You should be prepared but if it's your first time, you shouldn't plan a specific time. And don't be in a rush to lose your virginity. Sex is great with someone you love, but it isn't so great that you should want to lose it right away. I understand your frustration of getting your hopes up and then getting let down, but sex is something that you should be able to cherish with someone that you are in love with. You want to make sure that you have time to relax while it is happening, especially if you have never done it before, because if you only have a short time and are just trying to get it done, not only will it hurt alot more, but it won't mean as much to you. The first time means alot. You will remember it the rest of your life. Don't stay mad for too long. You may get another chance, and it may be worth the waiting. Just don't try to rush anything.

[Maloo]

Sex isn't really a kind of thing that you plan, especially your first time. As you now know, it doesn't usually work out the way you planned. If you just let things happen the way they're supposed to happen, then you'll probably have a better time anyway, instead of being so nervous because you've been thinking about the plans for weeks.

[Chris.]

You should not have to plan things like this. It is much better to just go with where life takes you. Hang out with him (or other guys) and have fun. And if you both agree to having sex, then do so. But dont have any expectations and dont plan things. See how you are so mad? Because you had that expectation. I reccommend not having an expectation like that, and instead just going with the flow.

Best wishes,
Chris

[MacGuffin]

I agree with everyone else. Don't "plan" sex, especially your first time. Planning takes away some spark of passion from it because it was written on a calendar beforehand. You didn't necessarily do it because the time was right for both of you, you did it because you had a date for it already set out. Besides, planning on it, especially when you are first having sex, puts a lot of pressure on you and even more on him. It really puts a damper on enjoying yourselves when you feel like you HAVE to have sex right them.

The best thing to do is just be ready emotionally and birth control wise. From there on, let it happen when it happens. Is there a day you'd like to have sex? Sure, you can mention it. But have it be a situation where it's like, "hey, I would like to have sex with you, but if it just isn't right for us or isn't going to happen, that's okay too," And be 100% okay with that.

Basically don't be mad at your boyfriend because things didn't work out. It isn't his fault. He will do better if there is less pressure. Also, try to plan for a time or place where he doesn't have to worry about someone walking in. That can make it really hard to have sex. So know you are ready, let him know you want to have sex, and let everything else take its course.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

I'm going to have to disagree with some people. You have to do SOME type of planning for your first time. Not necessarily step-by-step, but as far as preparing yourself mentally & making sure you have the supplies needed, definitely do some planning. But also don't expect everything to go exactly how you want. First times are never really how we imagine them to be.

[victoriabankson]

im sorry thats not the full story i was just kinda mad last night. so anyway we have talked about it and well he's not a virgin and i new what i was getting into and all. the only reason we didn't have sex wasn't cuz of me or anything its just he got a girl prego before me and well his parents don't trust him so he was scared they would find us im not mad any more well figure something out the thing is we kinda have to plan because if we didn't then we'd never be alone. the pain of being teens i don't expect anything from the first time just that it will be awkward and maybe painful i don't feel like i HAVE to have sex right away its that i want to have sex at this point in my life he is the one who first brought up sex and it was both of us planning i really wasn't to nervous i was kinda relaxed oh well we might get another time to do it

OH and we had planned to have 3 hours by our selfs so we went in any rush

[Strummer]

As far as planning goes, I hear that even married people often schedule sex, because if they didn't, it wouldn't get done. Since this is your first time, some planning is understandable. If you just leave it to chance, you may end up having sex with the wrong person in the wrong circumstances with the wrong outcome. If this guy got another girl pregnant, then he doesn't sound like someone you'd want to casually have sex with.

[Nicole!]

Originally Posted by Strummer

If this guy got another girl pregnant, then he doesn't sound like someone you'd want to casually have sex with.

This depends. I would talk to him and make sure that he will have a condom. Even if you are on birth control, its still a good idea. You don't want him to repeat a past mistake.

And to add, I wouldn't get too upset about this. You'll have sex eventually, its not too big of a deal if it didn't happen the day you wanted it too. At least you got to see each other and have some fun.

[Revolution]

I'm with Barbara. My boyfriend and I had a lot of this happen, because we weren't so great at planning. A lot of "They're gone? Clothes off!" moments. I would find another day where he knows they won't be home for a while, and you have time as well. Sometimes, parents go away for a night, and you can always stay as long as you can and be able to make the moment last. Rushed sex is the worst kind, trust me.

[victoriabankson]

thanks every one can some one close this or idk ive got the advic ei asked for and thank you again

[Verità]

I'm going to close this. PM me if you would like it reopened!