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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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burberry96 Offline
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Exclamation Mom Having Sex - December 17th 2011, 06:36 PM

I know this probably isn't any of my business, but my mom is having sex with a guy she's known only less than 3 months. And yes, for the last time i know my moms love life is not my problem, but last night she had sex WHILE I WAS IN THE HOUSE! her "boyfriend" if thats what he is, left at 730 this morning just as i was waking up, but luckily i didn't walk out and see him. i also found a bottle of lube on her night stand this morning when she told me to bring her tea because she had a headache. after everytime she goes out with him, she has these headaches so now i think she's had sex more than once with him. i dont know how to react to this or how to talk to her about how im not comfortable with her doing this. what should i do?
   
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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 17th 2011, 09:32 PM

Don't talk to her about it? She's an adult and can do as she pleases


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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 17th 2011, 10:56 PM

Your mom is going to have sex. She's an adult, and can do that. Maybe she didn't realize you were home. Just act like you normally would, but next time this happens, calmly knock on the wall to let them know you can hear it











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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 17th 2011, 11:54 PM

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Originally Posted by burberry96 View Post
. . . i dont know how to react to this or how to talk to her about how im not comfortable with her doing this. what should i do?
There are several details that you did not mention, such as your age, if you have other siblings, how long your mother has been a single parent, and so on. Sex is a part of life, so your mother would be expected to engage in sex, and that is her decision. However, because you have these feelings, you should have a private conversation with your mother, calmly telling her how you feel about this situation, giving her a chance to respond.


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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 18th 2011, 12:12 AM

I would suggest talking to her about this, however awkward that may be. Yes, she is an adult and can do what she pleases but she is also a parent. If this makes you uncomfortable, you need to talk to her about it and come up with a compromise such as not having sex with someone you hardly know while you're in the house.


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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 18th 2011, 12:26 AM

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Originally Posted by Zelophobia View Post
Your mom is going to have sex. She's an adult, and can do that. Maybe she didn't realize you were home. Just act like you normally would, but next time this happens, calmly knock on the wall to let them know you can hear it
Shannon summed it up perfectly.
   
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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 18th 2011, 12:30 AM

I would maybe talk to her about doing it in the house when you're home. I mean, as common courtesy, I would never have sex when my parents are home, but it is her house before yours. I don't know. If you can hear it that clearly, and the lube is out, that's pretty awkward. I know my parents have sex, but they're more discrete! Hahaha.



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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 18th 2011, 11:23 AM

Obviously, it is her house and if she wants sex then she's going to have sex. However, you could let her know in private how uncomfortable it makes you feel knowing that she is doing it while you are there. In the end, it's up to her, but you could ask her to be a bit more discrete.


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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 18th 2011, 06:25 PM

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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 18th 2011, 06:54 PM

Put your headphones on or something while she is doing it if it makes you feel uncomfortable. But she is an adult in her own house and can have sex with whoever she likes.



   
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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 18th 2011, 07:19 PM

It's rude to have sex when your kids are home though. That's really disgusting.

My parents have done this twice lately, and I'm really quite pissed about something. There's no reason I should have to be shut up in my room until they're done, especially since I'm barely ever home.
   
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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 18th 2011, 08:19 PM

I disagree with some of the others. I would mention to your mom that you were home the other night and heard them having sex - just ask her to do it maybe when you aren't home. Ask her to be more considerate of others in the house (or of you).

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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 18th 2011, 08:44 PM

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It's rude to have sex when your kids are home though. That's really disgusting.

My parents have done this twice lately, and I'm really quite pissed about something. There's no reason I should have to be shut up in my room until they're done, especially since I'm barely ever home.
It is rude. I agree it's like walking in on your parents doing it on the couch...especially if they know you are home. They would find it rude if they came home to you and your boyfriend romping (being underage and other technicalities aside...) or if you invited them over and did the same thing so I think you have every right to ask her to be more discrete


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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 18th 2011, 08:59 PM

Your mother is an adult and old enough to make her own decisions and do what she want's. She deserves to be happy and be able to do her own thing. It may be a bit rude to be doing it in the house while her kid/s are home especially if you can hear them and if you were young. If it makes you feel uncomfortable you could leave and go for a walk or to a friends or listen to music. Or if you really want too you could talk to her about how uncomfortable it makes you feel but as everyone has said she is an adult.
   
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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 18th 2011, 11:45 PM

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It's rude to have sex when your kids are home though. That's really disgusting.

My parents have done this twice lately, and I'm really quite pissed about something. There's no reason I should have to be shut up in my room until they're done, especially since I'm barely ever home.
I kind of understand where you are coming from, but don't you think it's a bit unreasonable to expect parents to never have sex when their kids are home? They basically wouldn't be able to have sex between when their children were born and when their children moved out (since kids would be at home almost constantly until they were school-aged and even then they might only be at school when their parents were working). Expecting your parents to barely have sex for 18+ years is unfair, especially since it is their house.



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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 18th 2011, 11:54 PM

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Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie View Post


I kind of understand where you are coming from, but don't you think it's a bit unreasonable to expect parents to never have sex when their kids are home? They basically wouldn't be able to have sex between when their children were born and when their children moved out (since kids would be at home almost constantly until they were school-aged and even then they might only be at school when their parents were working). Expecting your parents to barely have sex for 18+ years is unfair, especially since it is their house.
I completely agree. Maybe just talk to your mum in private and ask her to 'keep the noise down'.


   
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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 19th 2011, 12:14 AM

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Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie View Post


I kind of understand where you are coming from, but don't you think it's a bit unreasonable to expect parents to never have sex when their kids are home? They basically wouldn't be able to have sex between when their children were born and when their children moved out (since kids would be at home almost constantly until they were school-aged and even then they might only be at school when their parents were working). Expecting your parents to barely have sex for 18+ years is unfair, especially since it is their house.
Not in my case, considering I'm barely ever home. Kids aren't home/awake 24 hrs a day.
   
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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 19th 2011, 10:29 PM

I disagree with a lot of people here. While it is her house and she is an adult, I agree with Maloo in that it's rude. If it disturbs you, you have the right to ask for a little more courtesy as far as discreetness goes.

My parents got into the habit of going at it at night without closing their bedroom door; I have always left my door slightly ajar so that light from the hallway can get in. I frequently wake up in the middle of the night, and even though I know it's a natural part of life... it's still extremely awkward when it's your parent(s). To combat the problem, I started slamming my door shut when I woke up to it. They got the message, and now they shut their door, which I think is only fair, considering I'm not the one making noise. I haven't heard a thing since.




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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 19th 2011, 11:43 PM

There seems to be a lot of debate going on in this thread, but I thought I would toss in my two cents here. The thought of a parent having sex can be weird and disturbing, especially at the age where you're beginning to have sexual thoughts yourself (I'm assuming you are). However, your mum is an adult, and it is her choice to have sex with this man, even if she hasn't known him that long. While you may not approve, that is her choice, and there is really nothing you can and should say there. If it turns out to be a mistake, she is an adult, and can handle the consequences on her own.

That being said, I can understand why it would upset you if you were in the house while this happened. You should probably have a talk with your mom, and let her know that if she wants to do that, while you understand it's her decision, it really bothers you, and she should subtly let you know that you should go somewhere else, either for a few hours, or for the night. You could always go to the library for a few hours to do homework, and if you have any friends or family nearby, I'm sure they'd be happy to let you stay the night once in a while. If you can hear them, your iPod is useful, and they also sell machines that make soothing noises that also block out background noise (such as rain, waves, etc.) that could be useful.

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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 20th 2011, 04:58 AM

She might not have known you where there but, if she asked you to get her tea then she probably did. You can't ask her to stop but, you can ask her not to while you're in the house. Also it would be understandable if you brought up the lube thing. you can't tell her to stop if it is about having sex with him. On the other hand if you have talked to him personally just you and him before and didn't like him, that would be the only way your mom would possibly stop having sex in the house or break up with him.
   
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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 20th 2011, 09:11 PM

I can COMPLETELY relate to this! my mom has been divorced for about three years... i got onto her laptop and saw that her and one of her "work friends" were having sex AT WORK. ! i checked her phone when i had a chance and sure enough they were sexting! The only thing that really just gets to me is that this guy is married! anyways. the only thing you really CAN do is ignore it. thats probably not the best idea but its all im able to do...


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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 20th 2011, 10:22 PM

Quite simply, to avoid having an awkward dicussion if you are not comftrable discussing this with her, play music really loudly when you can hear them. Eventually they'll catch the hint that you do not wish to hear them partake in sexual activities.

Talking to your mother is likely the best course of action, but it can be really hard sometimes.

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Re: Mom Having Sex - December 21st 2011, 07:03 AM

Yeah, not really much you can do. It's her house, she pays for it, she can have sex there if she likes. My suggestion would be, like someone else said, to play really loud music when they do it if you like. Even if you may KNOW they are having sex, at least you don't have to hear it. Could be worse; you could have walked in on them doing it.


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