Non-PG13: Question about domination?

[Wandering]

Hello. So I've been struggling with this issue for a while, and thought this might be somewhere I could get some help for it. I've been in a relationship for a while now (over 2 years) with an amazing guy, and our sex life is wonderful, but lately I've been thinking about some things that I don't know what to do with. I've been reading a lot of erotica lately, and almost all of it (or the pieces that really interest me) are on at least some level dealing with domination. I've found myself fascinated by the idea of being a submissive, and would love if my boyfriend took on a Dominant role with me, but I'm not sure how to approach him. He already knows I like him to be a bit more forceful in bed, and he does, so I don't want him to see it as me being unsatisfied, rather it's just something I really hope to explore. I was hoping someone could give me some more information about this lifestyle (maybe someone who is involved or was involved) and some advice on how to talk to him about it without sounding unhappy? I'd love some advice, so I hope this wasn't to long for you to read!

Thanks in advance,
Wandering

[Iris. ♥]

Hey Wandering,
I've never been involved in a dominant relationship in bed. My abusive ex has left me afraid of things like that. But, I might be able to give you some suggestions on how to approach him about it. Since the two of you have been together for 2 years, I'm sure this isn't going to be the first time you've experimented with something in bed. How did you approach it the last time you experimented? It would work the same for this. Simply talk to him about it. Let him know that you have absolutely no regrets about your current sex life, but that this is something you would like to try. If you let him know from the beginning that you are not disappointed in the way things are currently going, he might be more open to the idea. It'll allow him to see it as something new and exciting, rather than a way to "make up" for the things that could be better.

[Koharuchan]

As for approaching him, the simplest thing is just to tell him you want to experiment with something new in bed, and ask if he's willing to try. If you've been dating for 2 years he should be able to understand that you're not unsatisfied, you just want to try something new.

Domination fetishes are really common, it's my personal favorite. There are a lot of things you can do, depending on just how rough you're willing to get. If you want to ask about details etc. of people who have domination fetishes, it might be better to use a pm to ask someone or look up some ideas online.

Hope I helped. If you ever need anything or have any questions, feel free to pm. I come online every day, and I'll always respond.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

The best thing here is communication, which it sounds like you have in a great relationship. Just be honest with him & let him know what stuff you want to try out. Communication is key. Believe me, as someone who likes to be dominated in sex, it will be worth it.

[Revolution]

Communication, you just have to come out and say it. Say exactly what you said here. Tell him you are happy with your sex life, but would just like to do some exploring. People love pleasing their partners, its just the truth. He'll be happy to want to try something that you want to do, especially because men tend to think we don't think about these things. Just talk to him. He'll understand.

[Aletheia*]

Definitely tell him. Communication will be your best friend here. Just let him know that you're interested in taking it a step further, and it's not because you find your current sex life unsatisfying. It's ALWAYS okay to introduce new things into the bedroom.

[theawesomeman]

Well you've already said that in the past you have let him know that you want him to be forceful in bed. Acording to what you said, he did be more foceful and was not upset. The same thing can happen here but, instead of asking him to be forceful ask him to be dominant. Most guys would be happy with doing that and actually prefer to do that. If you are nervous about telling him, wait until you have started to have sex and while he is being forceful tell him you want him to be completely dominant. The reason for that probably working very good is that he will be having sex and excited when you tell him so, it will excite him even more.

[MacGuffin]

Just let him know straight up. "Hey, I've been reading this erotica about submission and domination and I think it's super hot. I'd really like to try it with you, and explore something new, by expanding upon what we have doing already. What do you think?" He shouldn't be insulted by that, but if he is for some reason, you can always assure him that it's not what he is or isn't doing, but rather you just want to explore your sexuality, together with him.