fantasies.....

[Christian_girl_4ever]

I have a couple questions...okay this is really embarrassing so please don't judge me. I have fantasies about my old therapist because I got really close to her (as in trusting her) and she's really pretty. I know she would NEVER do anything like in my fantasies. So my questions: 1.) How wrong is this? 2.) Is there anyway to stop these fantasies? Because these fantasies even make me feel uncomfortable and guilty. When I start to have these fantasies I try to switch what I'm thinking about but she always pops back in my head. question 3.) Could this mean I'm BI?
Thanks in advance.

[Chris.]

I just wanted to say - no one is judging you, and believe it or not this type of thing is very common! To answer your questions:

How wrong is this?
This isn't wrong at all. Personally I think that alot of people do it. I can be due to attraction, or due to just being curious about how the other person looks and what you would do to that person if there were sexual relations going on. Fantasies are just that - a fancies. We all have fancies and we all have non-reality dreams - its just how it is.

Is there anyway to stop these fantasies?
The only way(s) to stop this is by either getting a new therapist, or just trying to think about something else (which probably wont work).

Could this mean I'm BI?
Possibly, but you have to realize we sometimes just are curious about the same sex, and we don't do anything to act on it - that doesn't make you bi. Curiosity is apart of life, and you just happen to be experiencing it with your therapist.


Best wishes,
Chris

[Christian_girl_4ever]

Thanks Chris. That really helps a lot.

[Chris.]

No Problem. You can always feel free to message me if you have any more questions or any more problems!

Happy Holidays!

Best wishes,
Chris

[Aletheia*]

What's wrong with this?
Absolutely nothing. Fantasies are just that, fantasy. It really doesn't have any hidden means behind it. Since you opened up your heart to her, and she has helped you in the past, it's natural to have 'fantasies' about her. There is nothing wrong with it.

Is there any way to stop the fantasies?
Unless you switch therapists, probably not. Trying to divert yourself only can go so far, but eventually, your thoughts will go back to her.

Could this mean I'm bi?
Absolutely not. Just because you're having a fantasy about someone of the same sex doesn't mean you find them attractive, or would jump at the chance to make this fantasy come true. It's natural to be curious about the opposite sex, but it doesn't mean you're a lesbian or bisexual.

[Christian_girl_4ever]

Thanks Zelophobia. I'll keep that in mind.

[Verità]

First of all, everyone has fantasies. They're perfectly normal and acceptable, they're simply imagery that help us to create sexual thoughts/feelings, or make them more intense. It's never wrong to have a sexual fantasy about someone, it usually can't be helped. What really matters is if you decide to act upon these fantasies. Now, you stated that she's your 'old' therapist, so I'm assuming that you are no longer seeing her. Having space from the person in your fantasies will help a lot.

As to how to stop them: When did they begin? It could be that you miss her, and your subconscious is trying to find a way to simulate having an intimate closeness to her again, albeit in a different way. Or it could just be something more simple. I would try to wait this out, and try to remove any reminders of her from the immediate area so that she isn't on your mind as much. Eventually, you will find someone else, male or female, that captivates you more in your fantasies, and the problem will be solved.

Finally, one sexual fantasy about a woman does not immediately make you bisexual. I'm a lesbian, and even though I sincerely doubt I'll ever have sex with a man in this lifetime, I have had fantasies about men before. It's perfectly normal. In the future, if you continue to have sexual fantasies about women, or have crushes on women, then it is possible you could be bisexual. But, there's no pressure to put a label on yourself, so don't feel like you have to. Just be patient with yourself, and see where the road brings you.

Take care!