Sex in a relationship

[FriendZoneMayor]

Okay, at the risk of sounding slutty, I've never had sex while in a relationship. That's because I believe that out of a relationship, sex is sex. In a relationship, sex should be making love. I've never had a problem with this until now. I recently got into a relationship with a girl who was going to be a FWB, but then we ended up straight-up together. We both wanna have sex, but I'm having a bit of a moral conflict. I love my girlfriend, but I don't know that I'm IN love with her... Any advice?

[effyfrost]

so you don't want to have sex with her because you're in a relationship and you only want to have sex in a relationship if you're in love, correct?

if that is the case, have an open discussion with her on your views on sex and find out hers as well. that may help a discussion take place in which you mutually decide when you're going to have sex.

i like you, have had sex outside of a relationship. i've thought it was okay at the time because i had similar beliefs to yours and then ended up regretting it, but that's just me.

i think every relationship can define for itself when is the right time to have sex. there's no certain time in which you must have sex if you're in a relationship. if you want to make sure you're in love, i'd just tell her that you don't want to rush it.

i hope that helps a little!

[Chris.]

Well if you don't want to have sex with her - tell her your thoughts and how you feel about this. Communicate with her or she will think that something is wrong and it may cause problems.

Don't force yourself to have sex with anyone - if you aren't ready, than you aren't ready. And If you have to question if you are in love with her - than chances are you aren't. Stick to your morals on this one - I think you will feel better with the ending result.




Best wishes,
Chris

[Aletheia*]

I agree that communication is needed; if you don't, she may think she isn't good enough for you or something along those lines. Tell her how you feel. You don't have to force yourself to have sex with anyone if you aren't sure about it. Only have sex if you ARE sure about it.

[janice201149]

Wow...your such a nice guy. You know how to respect girls. Thanks for that.

[FillingWithHope]

This is totally normal in a relationship. You may be in love with her but you may just not be as ready for sex as you thought you were. As the above user had said communication is key. Don't rush yourself in to having sex with your girlfriend because when your ready you will know, when you question it like this then you are not ready.

[FriendZoneMayor]

Originally Posted by janice201149

Wow...your such a nice guy. You know how to respect girls. Thanks for that.

.....Um... I'm a girl...

[ff.picc]

I agree 100% with the above posters, that if she wan'ts to have sex, and your unsure about it, you need to talk. But I'm going to try and look at this in another direction in hopes of giving you a second opinion.

I know for me personally, I'm a believer that Sex is apart of the bonding experience. Sex at a personal level, brings two together, in a way you cannot recreate elsewhere. This Euphoria overcomes your body while have sex with a partner that you have feelings for, and can change things. Sometimes the way someone acts in bed can be more passionate then anything you've ever seen from them, because they had not been able to figure out any other way express such feelings for you.

Now on the flip side of such, Sex can ruin things. Having a great relationship means balancing the sex and the emotional ties between the two of you. Sometimes, sex takes the place of the emotion, and it becomes all you have. Which once you take a step back and realize what your doing, you will learn you don't love each other for the way you are, or the things you do, you love each other for the pleasure each other share in the bedroom, the wrong reason.