I can't be the only female....

[DeadlySin]

Hello everyone!

So. This has to do with losing your virginity.

I tried to lose my virginity when I was 16, 17, and 18.
By tried I mean...they couldn't get in.
When I was 16 my boyfriend was slightly intoxicated...so I am gunna guess that was a factor, as well as me not being totally comfortable with it. So he never got in.
When I was 17, it was kinda a "I wanna lose my virginity NOW" moment. So he was pretty unprepared...but being my best friend he went with it. He tried to get in and after trying he went soft...and then his excuse was I was too tight. But what guy uses that as an excuse let alone complains about that?! lol

And then when I was 18. It was actually a few hours before my 19th birthday. It was with this guy I liked from college. We were both drinking (since it was like a pre birthday party) which lead to messing around. He couldn't get it in either. And once again used the excuse I was too tight. I blame us both being tipsy

The point is I did finally lose it spur of the moment a few months ago.
Then had sex quite a few times after without a problem.

Now with my new boyfriend. When we first tried. He couldn't get it in either ....WHY IS THIS ISSUE COMING BACK?
Then tried again and we were fine after lol.

So the question is:

1. Have any of you other females had this problem? I guess even males, have you had the problem of getting into females?
2. Females, do you know the reason he couldn't get in? Males, do you know why you couldn't get in?
3. Does anyone have a guess why this problem keeps occurring in my life? haha Since "being too tight" is a terrible excuse. -____-

Either way, thank you for any responses I get! I am kinda excited to see what the guys will have to say to get it from their perspective.
But I also want to know I am not the only girl who has had this problem....way more than once. lol

[Acheron]

Maybe not what you want to hear, but there really is such a thing as too tight. I've met girls that I had real trouble penetrating. It just took lube and repeated attempts, and then being careful not to slip out and have to repeat the process. My guess would be that those three guys were right, and you're just small down there. Either invest in lube and get used to a struggle to achieve penetration, or start hooking up with needle-dicked guys.

[TheCrowing]

That and a lot of guys just try to go right in. Sometimes girls need to be.. for lack of a better term.. 'loosened up' a bit. He has hands for a reason.. =P

[bitesize]

You're not. It took me a few tries to lose my virginity successfully ~ I put it down to being petite, not quite comfortable with the partner, etc. And yes, I have had the problem since then, despite having had sex with a few people by now. In fact my boyfriend and I tried a few weeks ago once and he couldn't get it in. It comes and goes. I wish I could give you more advice on the situation but don't worry, you are definitely not alone!! (:

[Koharuchan]

Originally Posted by DeadlySin

1. Have any of you other females had this problem? I guess even males, have you had the problem of getting into females?
2. Females, do you know the reason he couldn't get in? Males, do you know why you couldn't get in?
3. Does anyone have a guess why this problem keeps occurring in my life?

1. YES. It was a big problem with my current boyfriend.
2. It wasn't that I was too tight. Yes, I am very tight, but our problem was simply that he's freaking huge down there.
3. Simply because you're very tight. With me, this didn't occur with the past boyfriend I lost my virginity to, because he was of average size. With my current boyfriend, we have to use heavily lubricated condoms and do a decent bit of foreplay. The lubrication helps a lot.

My advice to you is in addition to using lube, let him finger you. After a while let him add another finger or two, and he can start trying to "loosen you up." Also, the more aroused you are the wetter you'll be down there, because your body is producing its own natural lubricant. After that, then give penetration a try. Good luck!

[Aletheia*]

Originally Posted by DeadlySin

[So the question is:

1. Have any of you other females had this problem? I guess even males, have you had the problem of getting into females?
2. Females, do you know the reason he couldn't get in? Males, do you know why you couldn't get in?
3. Does anyone have a guess why this problem keeps occurring in my life? haha Since "being too tight" is a terrible excuse. -____-

1. Absolutely. When I lost my virginity at 16, my ex-boyfriend also had a hard time penetrating me as well. And, even after having sex for the last 5 years, my current boyfriend and I still have some trouble. I usually blame it on lack of foreplay, so I'm not wet enough, or if we haven't had sex for a week or so. There IS something called being too tight down there. Lots of foreplay will help.

2. The first time I blame it on the fact that I was tense and was nervous. This obviously makes your body tense, including the PC muscles down there. Now, whenever it happens, as I said above, I blame it on not being turned on enough or wet enough, or the fact that I've gone a few days/weeks without it.

3. You're probably just extremely petite down there. It's not uncommon, and your certainly not the only one.[/color]

[Squiggly]

Mt fiance said the same thing to me the first few times we tried and there is such a thing as being too tight or in the guy's case too big. But usually if you try a few times it get's easier.

[SamMarie]

I lost my virginity at 15 and at first something like this only happened because I was a virgin before he actually got it in. Do you masturbate regularly? I'm not sure if this could help 'loosen' you up a bit, but I know being small in that general area is quite common even for those who have lost their virginity. It could help. Even more fingering foreplay from your boyfriend could help as well. I also feel like these guys weren't exactly patient. Maybe you need to be more lubricant. Don't tense up either because it tightens the muscles and make sure you're in the mood. Good luck!

[Jaguar]

I think a lot of people are missing the point. There's something called "vaginismus" where the vaginal sphincter muscle tightens in response to fear or nervousness and it's almost impossible to get a penis in. I think it's more common that most people think, from what I'm hearing.

It doesn't make much difference how many times you've had sex, it' can still be a problem. Usually if you haven't had sex in a while it's worse. The solution is to use LOTS of lube and try slowly, guiding him. You'll have to guide him to the right place and guide him as to how hard he can push without it being too painful for you. To my knowledge, that's the only way to do it.

[Revolution]

1. Have any of you other females had this problem? I guess even males, have you had the problem of getting into females?
Yes, first few times, and sometimes afterwards. It happens.
2. Females, do you know the reason he couldn't get in? Males, do you know why you couldn't get in?
You may just not have been wet enough and needed some lube. I don't think this is a you issue.
3. Does anyone have a guess why this problem keeps occurring in my life?
I started to say this. In all of your situations before really losing it, it was like your first time, so you were nervous. And currently with your boyfriend, it's a new guy, things happen. Sometimes you're too stressed or nervous, and muscles tense. I would recommend more foreplay and buy some lube.

[r_elusiveanime]

Originally Posted by DeadlySin

So the question is:

1. Have any of you other females had this problem? I guess even males, have you had the problem of getting into females?
2. Females, do you know the reason he couldn't get in? Males, do you know why you couldn't get in?
3. Does anyone have a guess why this problem keeps occurring in my life? haha Since "being too tight" is a terrible excuse. -____-

how interesting, i've heard some case which sounds similar to you but i don't think it is a big unsolved problem . . .

1. i've been in the situation before, but i didn't give up that easy . . . as much as i know that penetration required psychological comfort, so giving the girl good foreplay, secure feeling, love, pillow talk, trust, or anything to build the heat . . .

i've read some polling bout sex somewhere on the magazine that says :

"women like a frying pan . . . first you heat it up, then you put the "meat" in"

2. I guess the reason that it couldn't get in is because eventhough you do really want it but you didn't prepared n ready . . . n for your partner, they didn't really know how or they give up easily . . .

3. I'm not sure if this keeps occuring to you phisically or just psychologically, better consult to someone or doctor to know for sure . . .

[Nicole!]

1. Have any of you other females had this problem? I guess even males, have you had the problem of getting into females?
I have, when I first lost my virginity it took a bit before he was in, but that was mostly because I was really nervous so I got really tense.
2. Females, do you know the reason he couldn't get in? Males, do you know why you couldn't get in?
Maybe you just weren't wet enough? Lots of foreplay will help with this.
3. Does anyone have a guess why this problem keeps occurring in my life? haha Since "being too tight" is a terrible excuse. -____-
If it was a while in between the times that you had sex, that could be the cause.

[DeadlySin]

To answer a few things brought up:
1. Yes we always use lube and lots of it. Even that isn't good enough.
2. Yes fingering and foreplay is always included.
3. First few times, yes I was probably nervous which made the muscles tighten, after that I am at ease and fine with it. So I know it can't be that.
4. Yes I do masturbate at least twice a week.
5. Thank you all for the responses they are quite helpful. =)