Dry Humping my Best Friend?

[GivesmeHope]

Ok, so this may be a little wierd and strange, but this is a legit question, and I'm honestly concerned.

Alright, so my best friend, Zach, met me in seventh grade last year. He was held back a grade, so he's 15, I'm fourteen. He's like a brother to me now and we always talk and hug when we see each other. We go to Youth Group together and we always hang out, so we're very close. But recently, he was starting to give me small signs that he want to go a little past that.

We've had a lot of snow recently, and now we're half-way trough the school year. We were at Youth Group last week, and I was in the bathroom. I was fixing my hair, and when I looked behind me, he was standing there, just waiting. I was a bit confused seeing as this was the girl's bathroom. I turned to ask him what he was doing, and he kissed me. I've never been kissed, so this really shocked me, but it was okay because I'm super comfortable around him. So anyway, it got a little heated and when we stopped, we both left the bathroom and ran outside. We talked about it at school the next day, and I wasn't to worried.

But, that friday, it got a bit...too heated. We had a school dance that as cancelled, and my brother was at a party. My mom was out with friends, so Zach came over because I was bored and my house is really creepy at night. So anyway, we were watching TV on the couch, and he started stroking my leg. I've never done anything intimate, so I was a little skittish, but it didn't bother me after a while.

As we were sitting, he got closer and we started kissing again, and this time I ended up on top of him. We were having fun, so it just sort of went on for a while. But after ten minutes of me just straddling his hips, he pushed his hands around my waist and pressed me closer. After this, we got really into it and we ended up dry humping. Don't get me wrong, it was great, and after a while he started tensing up and breathing pretty hard.(I got off too, and I think he could tell because I was breathing hard as well and I started making some noises...) I could tell he was having an orgasm, and I tried to let it go. To make him feel better when we were done, I just slid off of him and asked if he was okay. He said he was fine, but he did have a wet spot on his basketball shorts, and he was a wobbly wreck. He left and I laid there, thinking about it. He was definitely embarrassed that he came in front of me, so I texted him and told him it was okay.

It's been a week, and he's been avoiding me and since we have four classes together and we sit right by each other, he's been a little shifty. I'm worried when he came, he might have thought I was upset or grossed out. Now he won't talk to me, let alone look at me or touch me. I need advice on how to make him more comfortable with it, after all, we both..."got off" from it, mine just wasn't all-out noticeable. I tried to reassure him and talk to him, but he's my best friend and he's REALLY embarrassed. How do I help him get over this?

[Aletheia*]

Since it's been a week and he's had some time to mull over what happened, I would try to speak to him in person or over the phone and explain that things are okay. Or, just try to figure out what's been going on with him. Maybe it has nothing to do with YOU. Maybe something is going on at home he's been trying to figure out the last week or so. If he is embarrassed about the incident, I would just talk to him and be honest.

[Loving Linux Penguin]

yeah, I'd say just try once again to reassure him that it's okay. Sometimes these things happen, and in many situations it WOULDN'T be considered acceptable among friends, so he may not know that you're okay with it. Different people are okay about different levels of intimacy.

Also, just tell him that it's okay to talk about his feelings toward you

[GivesmeHope]

He is generally pretty shy, so this incident may not have helped...at all. I really want to make it up to him and tell him it was completely fine, after all, I got off with him. I honestly feel awful about it, because he's already shy, but this must have made him really uncomfortable. We see each other everyday, so it's hard to think about it and try to get over it with me right next to him. I feel like even though when we were both into it at the time, him going over the edge made it ten times worse.
I'll try to talk to him about it more tonight, we have to go to a dinner thing with our families anyway. The worst part is trying to talk to him about it without drawing attention to us. I'll do it after dinner, when everyone gets up to go to the bathroom. I just want to make it right, because he shouldn't be upset, I honestly thought it was okay, we were doing something that leads up to it, and I can't say it didn't cross my mind when we started.
I just want to clear it up for him that it was fine and he shouldn't be upset for something he couldn't control.

[Shawn K.]

You are a really good friend to be concerned about him like this. I don't think you've got anything to make up to him though. He started the signals that he wanted to go farther, and he started rubbing your leg that day. Sounds like he was pretty sure what he wanted to do. what he wasn't sure of was how he'd feel afterwards. And it may have gotten away from him a bit, but he was a willing participant believe me. He may be embarrassed because the orgasm snuck up on him, and it was probably the best one he's had to this point. Beatin off orgasms and with a girl orgasms are completely different things, especially our early ones. They will make us more than wobbly, in the head and in the body.

It sounds like you two became friends and at least on his part it's blossomed to something more. He made his move, scored a hit, now he's processing his feelings. I wouldn't emphasize his embarrassment or whatever, or making him feel better about losing control. If either one of those is part of the problem he's having, a guy doesn't want to keep talking about it. Emphasize that you enjoyed yourself and hope he did, and that you hope it doesn't weird out your friendship. IMO.

[GivesmeHope]

We talked about it last night at dinner, and it ended up going over well...our parents had gone to the bathroom to "clean up", so we had to talk fairly fast.
However, I made it clear to him that I was fine, that I was having fun. He didn't look at me when I was talking, but I told him that I hope he was having a good time as well. When we finished talking, he did look at me, and he apologized for losing control. I expressed to him that it wasn't awkward for me, and again I told him I enjoyed myself. I think we're better now, because when our parents came back, he actually relaxed and started to talk to me before we left.
I get that he may not be entirely recovered from his "accident", but I'm glad he at least listened to what I had to say about it and understood I meant what I had been saying.

[Shawn K.]

Originally Posted by GivesmeHope

We talked about it last night at dinner, and it ended up going over well...our parents had gone to the bathroom to "clean up", so we had to talk fairly fast.
However, I made it clear to him that I was fine, that I was having fun. He didn't look at me when I was talking, but I told him that I hope he was having a good time as well. When we finished talking, he did look at me, and he apologized for losing control. I expressed to him that it wasn't awkward for me, and again I told him I enjoyed myself. I think we're better now, because when our parents came back, he actually relaxed and started to talk to me before we left.
I get that he may not be entirely recovered from his "accident", but I'm glad he at least listened to what I had to say about it and understood I meant what I had been saying.

Way cool glad you guys got to talk. You know this dude likes you likes you right?

Hope it goes great with you two. And if you're gonna continue any playing around, go slow, be careful, and be safe.

[GivesmeHope]

Originally Posted by Shawn K.

Way cool glad you guys got to talk. You know this dude likes you likes you right?

Hope it goes great with you two. And if you're gonna continue any playing around, go slow, be careful, and be safe.

Yes, I could sort of tell. I was glad he got over that "hump" ( ) and was able to listen.

I'm almost positive if we do continue to mess around, it won't happen for a while. But thank you guys for helping.

[Loving Linux Penguin]

No problem at all! Glad it went well!!

[Verità]

Since the problem seems to have been resolved, I'm going to close this. I wish you good luck in the future, PM me if you would like to have it reopened.

~Alice