Sex and the Ex

[SabrPrin2]

So my current boyfriend has slept with more people than I have. Idk why it bugs me so much but it does. What can I do or say. He knows how I feel already but I dont wanna keep bringin it up and ruining a great relationship...but its so hard to get over this and I just dont know what to do because right now it is ruining us and its ruining me becuase i keep thinking about these girls. My boyfriend and I were best friends for 2 years before we started dating and we always talked about sex and all that jazz...and now idk what to do :/

[Jaguar]

Well, just saying you should get over it doesn't help anything. Has he had that many more partners than you have?

I assume he's older than you so it would be normal for him to have had several sex partners. If he were promiscuous at some time, say a not of one night stands and things like that, I would be concerned, but if it were four or five relationships or maybe a few that didn't work out after a few times I really don't thing you have anything to worry about.

Is it an issue of jealousy? Are you afraid he'll sleep around?

[SabrPrin2]

No hes younger than I am and its not the fact that im scared he'll sleep around I just hate the fact that he has done these things with other girls u know and I know baout them...and i have started fights with all of them and not just over him but he wanted them to leave him alone so my friend and I went after them so it didn't exactly help

[Jaguar]

It does sound like you're jealous. That's something you're going to have to work out yourself - it's in your head unless they're actually doing something with him.

Going with someone doesn't mean you own them. You agree to have an exclusive relationship and there's an amount of trust you have to have in your partner. Sure, that's taking a risk but all life is a risk. The reward is worth the risk. He's with you and not them, and there's a reason. You got him and they lost. Now enjoy it and don't be so insecure.

Maybe you're worried that he'll go for some younger girl since guys usually go out with younger girls. I think you should talk to him and let him reassure you that he wants you.

When you love someone, you love all of them, all their experiences that go to making up them. If you wanted a virgin you should have gone out and found one. Everybody has had some of the experiences that make up life by the time they get close to your age, and that's a part of them. Enjoy him and stop looking for reasons to not enjoy him.

[kayla1234]

I 100% agree with Jaguar...

I also have had this problem too though. My boyfriend used to be.. well... he was kinda a man whore I suppose. ^////^

Basically... I simply accepted the fact that everyone has a past. There are things in my past that I'm not proud of.. and I know I'm not perfect. There are things in his past that he's done that he definitely isn't proud of too... In fact.. his past is about 100x worsee than my own, but at the same time the past isss the past. He's with ME now. Not them. There's no way to change the past and in a way, I embrace his past because it shaped who he is today. If those things hadn't happened, he wouldn't be who he is and I wouldn't have him in my life. I love him to death. We focus on the future and live in the present.

We talked a bit about it once because his ex girlfriend ended up hanging out with him, me, and his best friend. His best friend and I are both extremely shy and introverted though, while him and his ex are extroverted though, so she controlled the conversation with him. They started talking about their old wild sdventures which almost always included sex for about 5 straight minutes right in front of me and needless to say, I got jealous.

When he ended up bringing up my unusual behavior later on though, he soon realized how jealous I'd gotten. I really couldn't hide it, he reads me like a book. His words were, "I understand why you were jealous... you have every right to be. It should upset you to hear that because in a way, I've always belonged to you. We were always meant to be together, even back then. I wish I'd waited to be with you so I could give you that special piece of me and let you be my first... but I can't change any of that. I'm yours now though, body, heart, mind, spirit, soul... Her and I were talking about our memories but you forget that you and I have made just as many memories together too, if not more. And you and I will keep making memories while she just becomes a memory... You're the only one who's important and I'm sorry."

Him and I are a lot closer than most couples our age though.. but the point is that those other girls are justtt memories. You're his girlfriend and he belongs with you. Accept that and embrace his past while still embracing every second you have with him now..