Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Should I really feel like a whore?

[KenworthsCoughdrop94]

So, I lost my virginity at 15.
To a guy I loved to death, and I thought he loved me too.
But I found out he cheated on me about 15 times..
We broke up and he straight up ruined my reputation.
He made things up, told everyone everything in graphic detail, and told everyone I was a slut.

When I was 16 I got with another guy, and I will admit I was stupid because I didn't think he'd used me, he was 20.

Over the summer I got with a guy, and I pretty much sum it up as rape.
I said NO so many times I couldn't count but he did it anyways.

And now, I'm 17.
I'm with a guy I've loved for almost a year(yes, when I was dating the dude who basically raped me, I wanted this guy, but God just wasn't ready for us to be together yet, I guess..).
We've been together 5 months on the 3rd, and I trust him with all my heart.
He has been the only one who never treated me like shit through all the crap I've been through in the past 2 years.
We had sex a few months ago.

I've only had 4 boyfriends.
And I didn't just randomly have "fuck buddies."

So how in the hell am I seriously a whore?
I am torn inside, because I feel bad I had sex with them, but 1. I trusted those guys but the one who basically raped me. And 2. I didn't get in a relationship because I wanted sex, it just happened.

I cared about each guy I was with.
I can't even go anywhere without someone calling me a slut or whore.

I mean, how is 4 people that much? I'm 17, and that was over a 2 year period?

I'm not kidding, I am bullied so bad it's horrible.
Everyone who knows me talks behind my back and calls me a slut.
I can't stand it anymore.
How is my life anyones business?

It makes me cry everynight, and it makes me suicidal because I can't understand how I am.
I thought whores were people who screwed someone every week?

[David94Mustang]

First of your not a slut. Just because someone says that you are doesn't make it true. I'm sorry we all have to deal with stupid people in are lives that believe everything someone tells them especially about someone else. But just keep being yourself and don't care what others say. If people call you on it just tell them the truth. Well we were dating and I found out that he was cheating on me so I left him. So he gets all but hurt because I caught him in his own lie. So to get back at me he spreads these lies to try to hurt me.

[Amber]

You aren't a slut - at all. Don't listen to what other people say about you because those who mind, don't matter and those who matter, don't mind. When people talk about you it's just because they're so unhappy with their own lives they need to talk about others to make them feel "better" about themselves and it's absolutely pathetic. Ever notice how a girl can have sex with a few guys and be considered a "slut" but then when a guy does it he's soooo cool among his friends? It's so dumb. Anyways. Don't listen to what others are saying and ignore it. You are only a slut if you feel like you are - but you aren't. I promise.

[Koharuchan]

You're not a slut at all. You dated that first boy for a long time, you trusted him, and he betrayed that trust. That is not your fault, he was just a jerk. Unfortunately, there are a lot of jerks in the world and we encounter them pretty often.

The second guy you were with was older, and you thought he'd be more mature, but you were wrong. That also is not your fault. In fact, I was in a similar situation when I was 16.

The third boy raped you. This is not your fault in ANY way. That is a horrible thing to go through, and I'm very sorry it happened to you. Being raped does not make you dirty, or a slut.

Now, you're finally with a boy who treats you right. It's what you deserve. You've been together nearly 5 months, so you must have a decently strong relationship to have made it this far. You had sex with him not because he forced you or because you're a slut, it was because you trusted him and felt ready.

You are NOT a slut in any way. A LOT of people have had more than one sexual partner. People get together, they break up, things happen. Sometimes we regret the sexual encounters we had in the past, but everything happens for a reason.

[Rosana]

I'll tell you what I tell everyone else. Whores get paid. You, to the best of my knowledge, are not a whore.

[roller♥coaster]

You were right when you said that your life isn't their business.
You don't have to prove anything to anyone. You don't have to answer their questions. You don't have to explain yourself or justify your choices. You don't even have to listen to a single criticism they have. It's your life, and you aren't obligated to give anyone the time of day if they are so obviously disrespectful to you.

I think you need to come to terms within yourself. The things that happened are in the past, and they are not something you should regret. You are human, and misjudgments and mistakes happen! As for the rape incident, I'm very sorry that happened to you, and remember that rape is never the victim's fault.

Best of luck!

[Revolution]

There's no such thing as a slut. Slut is a term for women to feel bad about their sexualities. If YOU are not unhappy about your past and sexuality, then who cares what these awful people think? It's your life. You are beautiful no matter what.

[cyndii]

I know where you're coming from, I get the same thing from the people I'm closest to, the people I call family.
So let me just say first of all there is no way that you are a slut or a whore, people just talk shit so they can have something to talk about. It has nothing at all with what you do or who you are, cause clearly the people that believe it and spread it don't know you the way they should.
I'm sorry about how all this makes you feel, but just know that you have people who will support you through it and you don't have to go through it alone.
Keep your head up and stay strong. Never let what others say get to you (and believe me I know it's easier said then done). PM me if you ever need someone to talk to about it OK!

[Gemma.]

One of your ex's has cheated 15 times...he's the slut! I think hes trying to move attention from himself to be honest

[Jaguar]

I agree with most of the above posters. You're certainly not a slut or a whore. Those names are insults that really don't mean anything more than an insult.

You've had 3 sex partners voluntarily and been raped by another. You've had a string of bad boyfriends and that's not your fault. Neither is being raped. To have have had 3 boyfriends at 17 is not at all unusual and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Hold your head up and look upon those who abuse you as the small minded creatures that they are. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. People can be extremely cruel and all I can say is believe in yourself and ignore them (yes, I know it's hard)

[MacGuffin]

People are stupid, and like to talk bad about other people to make themselves feel better about their own life, because if they are looking at someone else's shit they don't have to look at their own. What they say isn't worth two cents.

You are not a whore or a slut, and just because someone calls you one does not make it so. You shouldn't adopt their view of yourself; instead, support you own view of yourself.

You trusted those guys and they hurt you. This isn't your fault, so don't blame yourself.

[KenworthsCoughdrop94]

I thank you all very much for you advice.
It helps a lot.
It's nice to hear someone other then my boyfriend not to call me a whore.
I am home schooled, and I kid you not, I was talk of a WHOLE ENTIRE SCHOOL when nobody but maybe 20 people there know me. He has the whole school(but my bf's friends I think..) thinking I have aids, and herpes, ect. And have slept with over 50 guys. Sad world this is.
Thanks to my first ex, he has completely ruined my reputation, and it's extremely difficult to make friends, always has been but now it's been close to impossible.
I have only 2 friends because of that jackass.
My boyfriend and my 13(almost 14) year old niece.
& I actually have had 4 boyfriends, the one who took complete advantage of me, when I said NO, was a boyfriend.. Sadly.
I know I shouldn't of had sex with him, but I was so pressured, but I truly didn't want to. I didn't like him THAT MUCH to be doing that. I wasn't even THAT attracted nor trust him yet, I didn't want it at all, I even told him that. And he took that far. I consider it rape, maybe it's not. But it eases my mind. That's all I know.

[cyndii]

Well considering your ex was 20 you can definately call it rape cause well... YOU SAID NO!
I know it must be so hard for you to just be yourself when everyone else sees you as someone else that they have been told about. People that believe shit like that are just petty. It really erks me to hear that someone coul believe something o fast without knowing all the facts. I mean he was cheated on you 15 times!?! Thats a bit ridiculous if you ask me, and so childish if he's reversing this on you so his reputation is unharmed.
Don't see yourself through others eyes, cause only your eyes have seen the truth and if you start to see things the way others do then your vision is being blurred by lies. Be true to yourself and never let others get you down no matter what they say. Keep your head held high cause one day when your older you'll look bak on the things they believed and just believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater then any obsticle. There are always people here who will support you no matter what.

[stefanie_m]

Oh wow, I had the same exact experience you had. And my first boyfriend (when i was 15 and lost my virginity to him) turned my entire high school (which was a small, local 300 student school), against me. The events after that mirror yours completely. You are NOT a whore, you are NOT a slut, you are precious and deserve to be treated as such. It sounds like you have a good guy now (just as I do), who doesn't degrade you or think less of you. My advice? Just make it through high school. I had to, and now that I'm out, none of those people matter anymore. Honestly.
Don't let them ruin the beautiful person YOU are.
If you need anyone to talk to, PM me. I'm here for you!

[George^^]

Your not a slut. Actually, the guy who ruined your reputation fits it better than you do (What? He seems like an asshole.-sorry if offended, I call'm as I see'm.)

People suck, litterally, They like to blow things up, make it seem like more than it is.

[Smitten]

No, you aren't a whore.
However, there's always kicking and punching guys in the nuts when you say no and they continue... just a FYI... -_-'

My advice is to armor up. They aren't going to stop making fun of you because it's mean, you're in high school - pretty much everyone is a douche-bag.
Armor up, take pride in the fact that you are who you are and they can't change that about you regardless of how much they call you a slut.

Easier said than done - but why are you going to repeatedly let douche-bags ruin your day? It's an injustice. Smile dammit!