I feel so slutty and worthless.

[ghjklasd]

So when I was 14 I met this guy he had a girlfriend but he told me he really liked me. When I turned 15 we had sex. So far I've kissed/made-out with 11 guys. I've had phone sex with 2 and sent pictures to 4 guys. In the pictures I was wearing underwear and a bra but in one of them you could see my butt. I've had webcam sex with 3 of those guys. I've been fingered by 3/11 guys. At school I gave one of those guys head in the bathroom. After I had sex with the first guy I just felt like nothing mattered anymore like I wasn't as sacred. At first I planned to lose my virginity to someone i loved but i lost hope. Now that I'm 16 i met my boyfriend and he's perfect he's a virgin and doesn't make me feel pressured to have sex. I just need help to stop feeling so slutty but I think it's obvious that I am a slut. This happened my sophmore year and now i regret it. I'm an AB student, in honors classes, and I pay attention in school. I know part of me isn't trashy but by looking at my past it's obvious that I am a slut. My mom used to know everything about me, when i got in trouble for stupid teenager things like smoking weed or sneaking out she knew. And it's also killing me that no one knows, i want to talk to my boyfriend or best friends for some comforting advice. and all these regrets are building up, i just want to punch the guy that took away my virginity because he is the reason for all this, i need help. i feel like im heading to a breaking point.

[Amber]

You shouldn't regret anything that has happened. Obviously it happened for a reason and that's OK. You aren't slutty or worthless. Everyone wants to have new experiences, everyone steps out of their box at some point and tries new things and there is NOTHING wrong with that. It's only "wrong" if you think it's "wrong." Everything that happened is in the past and it's going to stay there. Of course you're going to think about it from time to time but you shouldn't keep those thoughts from having a healthy relationship with your boyfriend now.

Keep paying attention in school and be yourself. Take it as slow/fast as you want with your boyfriend and just remember that it's what happens NOW that counts. It's what goes on in this moment of time that makes you who you are.

[blumemusik♫]

Hey

Like Amber said, there's no use regretting things which have already happened. You did them, and maybe now you feel that you shouldn't have, but they're in the past and there is no way to change that.

The best thing you can do now is to just move on with your life. You have a new boyfriend who doesn't want to pressure you into anything, so take it slow. Use the mistakes you made in the past as a learning experience and keep moving forward

[Singer180]

I'm probably not saying anything that hasn't been said already, but here it goes anyways lol

First off, you can't keep calling yourself a slut. You're human and we all make human mistakes. What counts is the fact that you realize that you made a mistake. Keep in mind it's never too late to just start over. You seem like you have a bright head on your shoulders. Those 11 boys you did things with? Forget them. Don't talk to them or associate with them because that's all they'll want from you; start fresh. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life

If you need to talk more PM me. Hope this helped.

[Revolution]

There is no such thing as a slut. What you did you may regret, but it does not deplete from your person. I made lots of mistakes as a freshman as well, I did many things I considered at the time "slutty" and at first regretted it. Honestly, I don't anymore. I came to terms that it is part of my past, and that it happened. At this point, I would just leave it behind you. We all make mistakes, we all have things we regret. But why don't you just enjoy time with your boyfriend in the now? Obviously, you're going to have to talk about this. Good relationships have communication, and in this situation, you may want to get tested before having sex with him just in case you have an STI (which remember, it's normal. You don't see girls getting called sluts for having pink eye, which is an infection as well. Sexually transmitted infections should not be "shameful."). But just put it behind you. You're a beautiful person, regardless.

[ghjklasd]

thanks guys, this really helped. yeah I got the courage to talk to my boyfriend today and he said to stop worrying about it. My head just felt so cloudy and dark the past couple of months. I don't know why I went off on that tangent. I guess i was just experiencing things without realizing the consequences.

[Verità]

Opened due to OP's request.