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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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Solivagant Offline
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Should girls use a dildo or something before sex? - February 27th 2012, 06:45 AM

Okay so this is the latest topic of argument between my guy friends and me They are like that we should masturbate with a dildo or something before actually having sex, so that there is no pain during sex and the hymen is broken before it and all that. And I go, "why should guys have all the fun? " See if you ask me, I'd rather that it is directly sex. Experiment with my partner and all that than shut myself in the bathroom and creep out with a dildo. But they are like, it will be better for girls if we use it first. It will be more enjoyment and all that. So yeah, what do you guys think about this?



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Re: Should girls use a dildo or something before sex? - February 27th 2012, 06:54 AM

Yeah, have the girl hurt herself and be alone when she breaks her hymen (which most girls have already broken before they have sex). Seems reasonable /sarcasm.

I think it's cruel to have a girl be by herself if she still had an intact hymen. Wouldn't she rather have someone there to be with her, and offer comfort?

Those guys are just thinking about enjoyment (for both sides). But the girl still suffers. It doesn't help anyone when she suffers alone.
   
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Re: Should girls use a dildo or something before sex? - February 27th 2012, 08:08 AM

To each their own. I didn't, I only had used a regular vibrator, but it may not be a bad idea. I see where they're coming from, but it's not necessary. Intercourse is going to be awkward no matter what, so just let it be.


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Re: Should girls use a dildo or something before sex? - February 27th 2012, 01:11 PM

I think its best to have sex first, before doing that alone, then you get the full experience. It can sometimes be slightly painful for the first few times as well, so really I think its best to just do the real thing. But obviously its everyone's own personal choice.


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Re: Should girls use a dildo or something before sex? - February 27th 2012, 06:18 PM

I agree with going right in with the sex first, before experimenting with a vibrator or "dildo". I'd rather would not have liked to be alone when my "hymen" broke, but of course, your guy friends are a little jilted in their thinking. Your hymen can break before you engage in sexual activity. It can break from: exercising, horseback riding, using tampons, etc.











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Re: Should girls use a dildo or something before sex? - February 27th 2012, 06:18 PM

what an interesting group of fellows you hang out with. a lot of young people masturbate or experiment with themselves before they are with a partner anyways. its a natural stage of life that a lot of people go through. however, i am not sure it is the best idea for you to use a large dildo on yourself and cause yourself pain before you actually lose your virginity. to me, using a dildo would ruin the experience of actually losing your virginity. besides, do you really want to stretch yourself out that much before you have sex for the first time? then its like you arent even a virgin anyways.
personally, i would rather have a guy who is caring and compassionate enough to be gentle with me. if he loves you (which is the type of guy you should be having sex with) then he will understand and he will be patient with you. it will hurt a little bit the first few times. but with the right guy, it will still be pleasuring and it wont be terribly painful. therefore, i think you should just wait until you find a good guy to do it with.
   
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Re: Should girls use a dildo or something before sex? - February 27th 2012, 08:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ashalily View Post
what an interesting group of fellows you hang out with. a lot of young people masturbate or experiment with themselves before they are with a partner anyways. its a natural stage of life that a lot of people go through. however, i am not sure it is the best idea for you to use a large dildo on yourself and cause yourself pain before you actually lose your virginity. to me, using a dildo would ruin the experience of actually losing your virginity. besides, do you really want to stretch yourself out that much before you have sex for the first time? then its like you arent even a virgin anyways.
personally, i would rather have a guy who is caring and compassionate enough to be gentle with me. if he loves you (which is the type of guy you should be having sex with) then he will understand and he will be patient with you. it will hurt a little bit the first few times. but with the right guy, it will still be pleasuring and it wont be terribly painful. therefore, i think you should just wait until you find a good guy to do it with.
That is exactly what I've been trying to say all along! But I am a fail with words I absolutely love your post!
And well, we end up having discussions like this because I am shameless I'll say anything in front of my friends So they know I won't be offended by anything and all so they feel comfortable including me in their guy talks




I am gonna shove this link up their asses once I get a few more replies! I love you guys <3



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Re: Should girls use a dildo or something before sex? - February 27th 2012, 10:43 PM

One thing to think about is that by the time you have sex, your hymen is usually "broken", and is (almost) never completely whole since girls are usually born without intact hymens (or else mentral blood couldn't go through). What I'm trying to say is that most pain that comes from your first sexual intercourse is not your hymen breaking, rather, it is your nervousness and tenseness, and the fact that those muscles are not yet worked out to their potential. There is usually part of your hymen that is being messed with, but that's not what most of the pain is. No matter what, I think the first time you have sex, things are not going to go perfectly, but if you're with somebody you like and respect, the awkwardness is almost endearing.

Whether or not you masturbate is up to you, it might be good for being more used to your body and it's functioning, but isn't necessary to "already break your hymen" so they can be lazy and not have to do it, because usually, there isn't a whole lot of a hymen to break. You get what I'm saying? So if you want to buy a dildo and do so, I don't think you're missing out on an experience you would with first time intercourse, but also don't think it's necessary for better first time intercourse.


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Re: Should girls use a dildo or something before sex? - February 28th 2012, 12:25 AM

I'm a guy, and I don't want my first time having intercourse to be with someone who has pre stretched their vagina. Guys should be using our considerable masturbation time to learn how to last longer so the first time isn't "wham bam thank you mam".


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Re: Should girls use a dildo or something before sex? - February 28th 2012, 12:40 AM

I've often wondered about that.


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