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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
acting101 Offline
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Oral Sex - March 6th 2012, 08:50 PM

I'm a virgin, never gone father than making out. Haven't had sex, haven't done anything below the belt.
Is it weird that the thought of giving a guy oral sex disgusts me? It seems to be almost expected as a requirement when sex gets put on the table, but I don't like the thought of it. If in the future I decide to not participate in it, would the guy get pissed?
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Re: Oral Sex - March 6th 2012, 09:07 PM

No, it's not strange. Everyone has their own preferences, and if a guy gets pissed at you for not wanting to give him oral, he's not the right guy for you. I'm not a big fan of it either, but I don't mind doing it. For me, when oral was first brought up with my boyfriend and I, he wanted it very badly but didn't want me to do it if I didn't want to. Since I wasn't completely unwilling and I just wasn't a big fan of it, we came to a compromise that I would give him oral, but it would only be every once in a while since I'm not too fond of it.

It's completely up to you whether or not you ever want to give a guy oral. It's your choice, and he can't make you. If you're just unsure about it, when you finally get to the point that you're ready for sex maybe just give it a try, and if you don't like it don't do it anymore.

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Re: Oral Sex - March 6th 2012, 10:23 PM

As Haru pointed out, everyone has their preferences. If the idea of oral disgusts you, there's nothing wrong with that. I personally don't care for it much either. It's not a requirement for sexual activity, but you may want to talk to your guy about this. You may want to try it out, but you do not have to if you don't want to. Never let a guy pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.
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Re: Oral Sex - March 6th 2012, 10:31 PM

We all have preferences, and if oral sex isn't something you're into, then don't feel forced or pressured to partake in it. It all depends on the guy, in terms of your next question. A guy who doesn't give a crap about you WILL be pissed off, because he's obviously looking for one thing. A guy who does care won't give it a second thought.

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Re: Oral Sex - March 6th 2012, 10:58 PM

What Shannon said. Any decent guy won't mind, because he actually likes you. If the guy does get pissed off he's not worth keeping around anyway.
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Re: Oral Sex - March 7th 2012, 01:31 AM

When you get in the mood to do something "below the belt", don't jump into a blowjob at first, but give him a handjob to start out with and bring him to orgasm that way. If you use lubricant, take your time, and not rush things, a handjob is an excellent sexual activity. You might keep giving him handjobs for quite some time before the need to try anything else, actually.
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Re: Oral Sex - March 7th 2012, 08:20 AM

i feel the EXACT same way. you are not alone. I've never done past making out and the thought of giving or recieving oral is ewwwie. I wouldn't ever want to do that but nowadays people can't even be in a relationship without oral sex. It disgusts me!
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Re: Oral Sex - March 7th 2012, 08:36 AM

It's all preference. When you get in a relationship with somebody, and things start moving in that direction, explain that that is where the line is drawn. I, personally, see oral sex as something above regular intercourse. You have genitals in your mouth, to me, that takes closeness to the partner and real desire. It's something you can choose not to do, and it's perfectly fine. If he doesn't want to be with you because you won't give oral, that's a very good sign that he wasn't the right one anyway.

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Re: Oral Sex - March 8th 2012, 12:30 AM

Im a guy and honestly wouldnt care if a girl gave me oral or not.

If you arent gonna give a guy oral, dont get mad at him if he doesnt do it for you.

Why does it disgust you? Cleanliness, or just the thought?
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Oral Sex - March 8th 2012, 01:38 AM

I think part of what might be going on here is that even though sex is something that's pretty commonplace (although actually less so amongst teens than, say 5 years ago), it really is an adult activity...you need not only physical maturity and development (puberty!), but also emotional maturity as well. And that lags behind, the parts of the brain that control 'mature' thought and judgment develop slower than the sexy parts. So, what happens is a lot of people feel the hormonal urges, but without the emotional maturity part, it's 'Ewwwie'. This isn't a bad thing, btw. But it reflects more a lack of brain/emotional development, rather than preference.

As you get older, AND get involved in truly mature love, things (like feelings and desires) really do change. So, it might be best to use some of these reactions to sexual things not so much as a scary indicator of not being aroused, etc., but rather that the groin develops faster than the grey matter.
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Re: Oral Sex - March 8th 2012, 01:38 AM

If you dont feel comforatble giving or recieving oral no guy should make you do it. Some guys might be upseet but if he does then its time to find a new boyfriend that understands you. Oral isnt a requirement in a relationship and shouldnt be treated as one. Just tell him flat out that you dont want to do it because it grosses you out. With me before I acually didnt want to but I told him I would try. It turned out not to be so bad. Its not really too gross but it often freaks me out sometimes. But when ever I dont want to do it my boyfriend is fine with it. Just pick a guy that doesnt want too many sexual things like that.

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Re: Oral Sex - March 8th 2012, 05:15 AM

It's perfectly normal.

Everyone has things they like and don't like to either receive or to do to someone else. Oral is one of them. Despite how pervasive it may seem, there are people out there who don't like to give oral (both males and females) and people who don't like to receive it. It's personal preference. And it is NOT required for sex. Don't let anyone tell you so.

So if you don't like oral, that's okay. Just accept that and not let anyone push your boundary.

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