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March 10th 2012, 05:07 PM

Hi /adv/
I need some help with something. I have very limited self control when it comes to chatting with an ex online.
I am currently dating a girl, who I absolutely adore and am pretty sure I want to marry.
But on the odd occasion a sexual thought of my ex will creep into my mind, sometimes during sex.
I feel like absolute shit about this, because not only do I really love my girlfriend she is also a lot more attractive then my exes.
And just the other night she began talking slightly dirty which got worse and worse...
I know this is not simply a matter or me having feelings for my ex, because with my previous girlfriend the same thing happened, despite her being more attractive then the prior.
I was thinking this may be just because I have sex a lot with the person i'm with so things may get slightly tedious at some points.

Does this happen to anyone else and have any ideas how to make it stop? I really dont want this to become awful pattern

I was thinking maybe it might be a good idea to stop having sex so regularly, but how could you phrase this to a girl so they would not be upset / confused as to why this would be asked so suddenly?

Last edited by Verità; March 13th 2012 at 08:46 PM.
   
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Re: Thinking of exes at times... - March 11th 2012, 01:40 AM

This happens to a lot of people, it's happened to me before, thinking of somebody else by accident. I LOVE my partner to death, but I have had it happen before. Just get yourself out of it in the morning, think about who you're with, and enjoy the moment. Try to train yourself masturbating about your current girlfriend so that your body learns to orgasm to the thought of her. Orgasm, psychologically, can really be associated with a lot of things, so if you train yourself to orgasm to girls in porn, or to the thought of your ex, the harder it is to think of your partner in real life. It's okay to look at porn and it doesn't make you a bad person to occasionally think of your ex, but if you want to stop, try your hardest to just think of your girlfriend.

Another thing is that you are worrying about it. By worrying about it, you are more likely to do so because you are having a constant focus on this problem. Rather, relax. Sex is supposed to be fun, and a way for people to connect. Let your body be, and let yourself be happy. Good luck!


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