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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
EmoGirl101 Offline
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Okay, please read and help - March 18th 2012, 02:18 PM

My best friend and her boyfriend (she's a freshman, like me, he's a Junior) have been together for 3 days. She said he held her arms and kissed her. She wants to sleep with him because she feels like she loves him(they were friends before they started dating) and she wants to get rid of her virginity. He asked her what she'd do if he asked her to sleep with him and she said she doesn't know. She wants some help seducing him without his mom or other people noticing. Will somebody please tell me what to tell her? It would be appreciated. Thank you. I'm sorry this is so long and I'm on my IpodTouch because it's all I have to get online with, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
   
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Re: Okay, please read and help - March 18th 2012, 05:50 PM

It doesn't sound to me like your friend is ready to have sex at all. The fact that they've been together 3 days and her boyfriend is already trying to convince her to sleep with him (most guys will wait even a week, jaysus...) isn't a great sign. How does she kno that he won't break up with her afterwards??

You say she 'feels' like she loves him; why doesn't she wait until she's sure?? (When you actually are in love...there's no doubt, no 'I think,' it's just a fact.) I think you should tell her that she should try waiting for a while; at least a month, and see if she still wants to do it. Also if she's under the legal age for sex in your country things could get icky later on.


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Re: Okay, please read and help - March 18th 2012, 08:12 PM

I have to agree with Bitesize.
It doesn't sound like she's ready at all. She shouldn't sleep with him just to 'get rid of her virginity.' She should be sleeping with them when she is positive that she is in love with him, and that he loves her. 3 days of dating is way too short to be thinking about those kinds of things, moving too fast can actually cause problems in a relationship. If he is already asking about sex 3 days into the relationship, then something is wrong here.


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Re: Okay, please read and help - March 18th 2012, 10:46 PM

They've been friends for a while, though. She won't listen to me, for once. She also wants to sleep with him because her parents don't trust her and she thinks that if she gets pregnant, they'll have a reason.
   
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Re: Okay, please read and help - March 18th 2012, 11:45 PM

Instead of helping her have sex, help her NOT to have sex. Honestly, 3 days isn't a long relationship at all REGARDLESS of them being friends before or not. A friendship is different than a relationship, is it not? If he's asking her this early on in the relationship, you can pretty much tell he's with her for one reason and one reason only: sex. Not something you should be basing a relationship off of.











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Re: Okay, please read and help - March 18th 2012, 11:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by EmoGirl101 View Post
She also wants to sleep with him because her parents don't trust her and she thinks that if she gets pregnant, they'll have a reason.
Okay, she's obviously not thinking straight. Her parents don't trust her, so getting pregnant is the answer here? Absolutely not. 3 days is way too early, and she needs to realize that getting pregnant young is NOT a good idea. Whether they use protection or not, there is ALWAYS a chance of pregnancy. My cousin was using condoms and birth control, and she got pregnant. Your friend needs to realize what she's doing to herself here. This is NOT a good idea. Honestly, if push comes to shove, it might be in her own best interest for you to tell someone about this, so she doesn't mess up her life.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Okay, please read and help - March 19th 2012, 12:44 AM

Getting pregnant will PROVE to her parents that the shouldn't trust her. Because I have morals, I cannot advise you to help her.
   
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Re: Okay, please read and help - March 19th 2012, 06:50 AM

Well okay, I'm going to finally be a moderate advocate on this issue, since I do not believe anybody has the right to control somebody's sexuality in any way. I don't think you should convince her to or not to have sex. Rather, I think you should help her think this fully through, and ask herself if that's what she truly wants. You, her parents, her boyfriend, neither of you guys can control what she does, only her. But instead, give her some true advice. Let her know that early in the relationship it may be risky for her emotional state to have sex, along with risking pregnancy and STIs. Let her know that you would not judge her either way, and that she would not be a bad person if she does, but you want what is best for her. If she decides that this early in the relationship that's what she wants, that is HER decision, not anybody else's.


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