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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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Does this count as sex? o_O - April 15th 2012, 10:17 PM

Well awhile ago before I was with my boyfriend, I was fooling around with this guy. I told him point blank no full on sex, not unless we were in a relationship. Well we were messing around and I think he put his penis in me or the tip like once or he at least tried to since I felt a little pressure but I pushed him back and said NO. If anything it was at the most one thrust, but I wasn't sure since this guy was not at all well endowed I don't think it would have been considered sex but it really bothers me since I have already set a strict limit on the number of people I would sleep with in my life and it really bothers me. I want to make sure this wouldn't have been considered sex. Thanks!
   
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 15th 2012, 11:06 PM

Unless he penetrated you with no cloths on that would not be considered sex in my opinion. Dry sex as they call it maybe but that's just mild floor play.
   
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 15th 2012, 11:17 PM

We were naked but I don't even know if he was just grinding on me or actually went in. I know I stopped him and told him no. To be honest, I was kind of pissed off if it even went in. I know he tried but I kept stopping him then he was finally like okay, okay. Dumb.
   
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 15th 2012, 11:21 PM

I suppose everyone has to decide on how they define 'Sex', but rather than an arbitrary definition, you might want to reconsider that more arbitrary number you've decided as the 'Maximum' number of partners. What's that about?

In any event, the issue here is being able to enforce what you've decided, and if you didn't want to have sex with him, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have him naked and aroused and so close to you..


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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 15th 2012, 11:29 PM

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Originally Posted by Dr.Bobby View Post
maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have him naked and aroused and so close to you..
I have to admit, even some of the most controlled guys would find it difficult to control themselves

Luckily he was the kind of person who noticed what he was trying to force and backed away. Could've gone a lot worse
   
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 16th 2012, 12:04 AM

I mean I don't think it was intercourse-penetrative sex, which is the whole issue lolz. I dunno that's why I'm asking o_O
And regarding how many people I have as my maximum to sleep with, my number is 4. I've had consensual sex with 2 people, not so consensual my first time with someone, so I consider it 2. My boyfriend is away and we haven't had sex yet, and I feel kinda slutty almost if my number goes above 4. No, I didn't sleep with these people while he was away or while we were together.
   
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 16th 2012, 01:20 AM

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Originally Posted by delete View Post
I mean I don't think it was intercourse-penetrative sex, which is the whole issue lolz. I dunno that's why I'm asking o_O
And regarding how many people I have as my maximum to sleep with, my number is 4. I've had consensual sex with 2 people, not so consensual my first time with someone, so I consider it 2. My boyfriend is away and we haven't had sex yet, and I feel kinda slutty almost if my number goes above 4. No, I didn't sleep with these people while he was away or while we were together.
Limiting yourself to four is going to be difficult, and you have only set yourself up for disappointment.

In regards to whether or not it was penetration, I'd probably say no.
   
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 17th 2012, 06:26 AM

Nope. You're a virgin for what it's worth.


What just happened?
   
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 18th 2012, 07:07 AM

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Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
Nope. You're a virgin for what it's worth.
This is basically my response.


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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 18th 2012, 08:14 AM

Still a virgin. However, I wouldn't be doing that too often, or something may slip.
   
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 18th 2012, 07:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by delete View Post
Well awhile ago before I was with my boyfriend, I was fooling around with this guy. I told him point blank no full on sex, not unless we were in a relationship. Well we were messing around and I think he put his penis in me or the tip like once or he at least tried to since I felt a little pressure but I pushed him back and said NO. If anything it was at the most one thrust, but I wasn't sure since this guy was not at all well endowed I don't think it would have been considered sex but it really bothers me since I have already set a strict limit on the number of people I would sleep with in my life and it really bothers me. I want to make sure this wouldn't have been considered sex. Thanks!
Sex or not, it's still cheating on your boyfriend. If you're worried more if it was "really sex" than the fact you cheated on your boyfriend, you should really look at yourself.


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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 19th 2012, 06:50 AM

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Originally Posted by .TJ. View Post
Sex or not, it's still cheating on your boyfriend. If you're worried more if it was "really sex" than the fact you cheated on your boyfriend, you should really look at yourself.
Before her current boyfriend.
She was not with him while this incident occurred.
   
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 19th 2012, 05:19 PM

In my opinion, I wouldn't count that as sex. Don't be too hard on yourself. =)




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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 20th 2012, 05:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by .TJ. View Post
Sex or not, it's still cheating on your boyfriend. If you're worried more if it was "really sex" than the fact you cheated on your boyfriend, you should really look at yourself.
Um, read the first sentence of her story quite carefully, those words "Before I was with my boyfriend" I'm not sure where you got the idea that she cheated...


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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 20th 2012, 11:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Revolution View Post

Um, read the first sentence of her story quite carefully, those words "Before I was with my boyfriend" I'm not sure where you got the idea that she cheated...
In his defense the wording was kind of awkward.

In response to this thread:

Ahh nothing is quite as flexible as the concept of teenage virginity. This is quite obviously a very gray area, but if you're that concerned about only having sex with an arbitary number of people, it's probably best not to "risk it".

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Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 20th 2012, 11:39 PM

Sounds like a confusing situation. From what I read, and my personal opinions, I would not count it as sex, but it was something sexual (and unwanted). I would definitely talk to him outside the bedroom and clearly define boundaries.

I hope you're doing well <3


   
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 21st 2012, 02:26 PM

Do YOU think it was sex? That's the only thing that really matters.

Also, you should be pissed off if someone doesn't respect your boundaries. You drew the line and he crossed it. Perfectly valid emotional response.


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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 21st 2012, 02:38 PM

I wouldn't say that was sex, no but at the end of the day it's down to you and what you think it classed as sex and what isn't classed as sex. I know you were probably asking because you were unsure but like I said, it's down to you and what you view as sex.
   
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 22nd 2012, 03:39 AM

Thanks errybody. I DID NOT cheat on my boyfriend as this was before I was with him. Secondly, I'm NOT a virgin lolz- I have had sex before and I was definately irriated, and I didn't see him again after that because if he obviously kept bothering me about sex and not respecting the boundaries set, a relationship wasn't going to work. We're friends, not close or anything, but I didn't appreciate the fact he was trying to get in my pants every 5 minutes Plus I got together with my amazing boyfwend and thank you everyone for correcting the poster who thought I cheated and or needed to morally evaluate myself. No offense to the poster but cheating is something I take very seriously as I have been cheated on before so yeah...

Last edited by delete; April 22nd 2012 at 03:44 AM.
   
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Re: Does this count as sex? o_O - April 22nd 2012, 08:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Revolution View Post


Um, read the first sentence of her story quite carefully, those words "Before I was with my boyfriend" I'm not sure where you got the idea that she cheated...
Sorry, for some reason I read it as, "Before, I was with my boyfriend" for some reason. Sorry, retract my post.


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